Surviving the ups, the downs, and the crazy like a pro.

Once a month my uterus makes a serious attempt to get me killed. It has many different approaches but each one  has the possibility to land me in an early grave.

Top 3 Possible Causes of Death:

1. It tells me to eat anything and everything coated in grease, deep fried, or anything with sugar listed as the first ingredient  which as we all know leads to.... DIABETES!!! YAY! (delayed and prolonged death but still death)

2. It makes me so crazy and unstable that my husband considers hitting me over the head with a frying pan

3. The pain of cramps combined with absolute starvation 10 minutes after I finish eating causes me to run into  oncoming traffic.


So that's how my week has gone so far....

Eating has been ehhhh, workouts have been killer, and my mind has been a bowl full of crazy. I have spent all week arguing with myself which we all know is super healthy. Friday it really came to a peak, all I wanted was ice cream. Nothing crazy but I wanted it and I wanted it bad, I had already had a slip up and devoured a mini almond joy in a moment of raging hormone weakness and I wasn't going to allow myself to have anything else. My mind tried tricking myself into it, I asked Scott if I could have some (he said no), I thought about texting Heather to see if Fro Yo was on our list of approved foods (its not) and I even tried to figure out a way to sneak it. I haven't felt that out of control in a while or spent that much time trying to rationalize cheating. We went to blockbuster to pick out a movie and I grabbed every type of candy in the checkout lane just to read the calorie/sugar/carb contents of each one. I do this a lot when I am craving something and I think once I see how bad it is for me I actually am able to take a step back and say no. For some reason it becomes real once I see the 220 calories per serving. The craving goes out the window at that point because then I start to think of how long I would have to run in order to burn it off.

Today I got up at 4:30 and hiked Camelback mountain with Heather and my cousin Victoria. It was a good solid two hour hike followed by an egg white scramble and protein pancakes (not as healthy as it sounds but a great cheat meal). This week I hope to lose a couple extra pounds and get in some extra miles running, I think it is time to step it up again. I feel like I am starting to get into a comfort zone with my food and workouts and that's not a bad thing but I need to make myself uncomfortable and push myself to the limits. I have goals that I plan on giving my everything in order to attain them and I can't do that and I won't change anything by letting myself get comfortable. I have to keep reminding myself....

"If you're tired of starting over, STOP GIVING UP!!"

Somebody's got a case of the Mondays....

Its Monday…. Boo Monday.

The one nice thing about Monday is it is my day off from running, my one day a week that I let my knees/ankles/body recover from the concrete and treadmill. I will usually get on the stationary bike or elliptical when I get to the gym to warm up before we start our circuit. Yesterday I ran 1 mile at high speed and then jumped off the treadmill to do our Bosu workout (I made it up). I finally bought new headphones so I was able to listen to music while I ran which was nice. I had forgotten what a huge difference that makes! 8 miles on Saturday to the upbeat tune of the wind didn’t really get me going… But on Sunday I was pumped up, singing, and just generally in a better mood as I punished my body. I worked hard, sweated more  (not sure sweated is a word but I am going with it) and I can barely walk today because of it. My butt and arms are so sore! Scott recommended that I try doing more 1 leg squats in order to banish my inner thigh jiggle (at my request). When it comes to my legs they are                 S-O-L-I-D, as soon as I do one squat or calf raise they muscle up and lean out so to have one problem area on my legs was driving me crazy. So in order to get rid of the problem area I substituted a medicine ball chop/1 leg squat in for one of my exercises and I can feel it today.

I am usually a lot hungrier on Mondays. I think it’s just getting back into the routine combined with occasional boredom that makes me hungry. If I am busy then I don’t notice that I am hungry but when I have a slow day it feels like I am constantly starving. Today I was saved by Dawna and her Mary Poppins bag of healthy food. I went to the snack drawer hoping against hope that they had stocked something relatively healthy in there for me to eat but I was out of luck and staring at a candy bar/cracker/popcorn/Mac and cheese Mecca. Dawna saw me staring in and drooling all over the snickers peanut butter bars and offered me a cheese stick and strawberries. CRISIS AVERTED!!!

We tried a new twist on an old favorite last night and could have easily eaten the entire dish by myself, I ended up only eating four because I felt bad that I was going to polish it all off before Scott had a chance to eat one. We had baked fajitas, I ate them wrapped in lettuce leaves with a small amount of cheese and fresh guacamole. Scott ate them in tortillas with sour cream, cheese, and guacamole. This was a nice change of pace because it was something I could make for both of us without forcing Scott to eat what I was eating. He had the option of tortillas or lettuce.

Baked Fajitas:

2 chicken breasts –sliced into thin strips                               

1 bell pepper (I used red) –sliced into thin strips

½ onion –sliced

1 tsp Garlic salt

1 tsp Cumin

 ½ tsp Chili powder

½ tsp Oregano

1 Tbls evoo

**feel free to mess with the spices adding more or less as you choose

Toss the chicken, onion, and bell pepper with the spices and olive oil until coated arrange in a baking dish (you want it big enough so that you only have a single layer)

Cook at 400 degrees for 25 minutes.

Eat with lettuce as a wrap or tortillas J

Lauren's World Post Pizza

It's the day after pizza...gooey , cheesy, delicious, pizza. I gained 1.5 pounds from yesterday to today but I will take it and not let that get me down. I told myself that I would get a reward when I hit a certain weight and it felt good to celebrate.

Pizza day started with an 8 mile run around Arrowhead, I really wanted to get in a good long calorie burning workout out before I stuffed myself full of cheese and carbs. The run went OK, I hit a wall around mile 7 and I had some chaffing issues (or as I prefer to call it "Chub Rub"). Scott said that this will happen with almost any long run so I went and invested in a pair of Nike spandex shorts to wear under my running shorts. That made the last mile or so of my run pretty uncomfortable and I am pretty sure I looked like a jackass running wide legged down Union Hills. I also felt around mile 7 that I just didn't have the energy, probably due to the fact that we went dancing and drinking the night before and I only had about 4 hours of sleep. I am still proud that I got up and ran despite the fact that I was exhausted. 8 miles and 1.38 hours later I talked Scott into going and grabbing breakfast with me. We went to Wildflower (one of my favorites) and I had a roasted vegetable egg white frittata with fruit and toast. It was amazing, I love bread so much and I really enjoy the times that I actually get to eat it. After that we went home and had a pretty lazy Saturday, most of our day was spent napping and watching Gene Wilder movies.

I was so excited by the time dinner time rolled around I could barely stand it. I had spent most of the week trying to decide where I wanted to go for pizza, the debate had been narrowed down to two choices: Grimaldis(thin crust NY style) or Barros (home town favorite, Chicago style).... Grimaldis won but it was a close battle. My parents, Scotts parents, and Heather and her two girls all met us to celebrate the combined 50+ plus weight loss between Heather and I. We drank wine, talked, let our nieces entertain us, and killed 3 large pizzas. I helped as much as I could, taking out 4 of the slices. It was so good, it reaffirmed my love of pizza. It also felt good to eat it in celebration, and not just because its easy. My stomach hurt all night long because it is not used to the grease, fat, or carbs but I still would do it all over again!! I think my next reward (after I lose another 20 lbs) is going to be new clothes. I am sure I will find a way to sneak another pizza day in there somehow :)

Don't stop until you are proud

Sometimes it’s hard for me to not go all Richard Simmons or Act like a nut bag spreading the word when it comes to eating healthy and staying fit.  I want to share my story and how hard it was for me to get on track and how everyday is a constant struggle. I want to do this so that other people can find a way to be healthy too or lose that extra weight they have been lugging around. I am not finished working on myself and in no way shape or form am I shining example of how to lead a healthier lifestyle but I get so excited trying to help people that I think I come across as pushy or crazy. Which to be fair I am pretty bossy and slightly crazy (In a good way)… I want others to be as happy as I am, losing 20 pounds has done more for me mentally than physically. Yes I can run faster and longer, lift heavier weights, and push myself to go that extra mile but I have always been an active person with an athlete mindset. The bigger problem was getting myself in the right place mentally, learning to say no and learning to enjoy my healthy food without feeling deprived. I still want to eat the bad stuff but now the good stuff is my main focus. Eating out or having a cheat meal means that much more than eating pizza every week or having fast food for lunch, I celebrate those meals and savor the taste. Before I would eat so fast I didn’t even taste my food. I like having a routine, I work better knowing what I am going to have for breakfast, lunch and dinner. This helps me stay within my boundaries, and yes it can be very tedious and boring but it’s what works for me. Trying to make a different meal every time and trying to fit those different meals within my food boundaries stresses me out and then I end up going back to what I would eat before.  

The other big factor is my success is my family and the support they provide. I couldn’t do this if I didn’t have Heather to meet me at the gym,  Scott to remind me that cheating isn’t worth it. Today was the first time in a long time that I actually felt like I could see the light at the end of the tunnel. I am hoping that light isn't a train but  I finally feel like I am doing something, that every pizza slice, cake slice,and hamburger patty I have turned down in the last two months is starting to show. I can see myself losing more weight, Hell I lost 20 pounds whats to stop me from losing the next 50 pounds that I plan on losing in order to reach my goal weight??!! I want to be proud of my body and I feel like that day is coming. Ok let me back up... I am proud of my body and the time and effort I have put in to changing my body but I want to be a different kind of proud. I want to be running in a sports bra, not wearing a cover up over my swim suit, wearing a string bikini kind of proud. 

weight loss inducing squeals

I stepped on the scale this morning and let out a very unlady like (very drunk sorority girl like) squeal…yes squeal. I have officially lost the vacation weight plus ½ pound! This brings the grand total to 19.5 pounds woo hoo!! And yes I wanted to go pee and lose the final ½ pound to round it out to 20 but I didn’t! I am hoping that it will be gone by the time I weigh in at the gym tonight or tomorrow morning. This means I am 3 pounds away from pizza, sweet saucy, cheesey, meat covered pizza. Moment of silence for the deliciousness…………………………………………………………………………………………..

Hopefully this weekend I will have a date with my hubby and a large pizza :)

I am starting to have some worries about actually eating the pizza, I don’t want to go up 6 pounds every weekend and spend every week trying to get it off. I know it will only be one meal and that the likely hood of me gaining six pounds from one meal is slim to none but I’m a girl so I have to over think everything. Maybe I will start pizza day with a nice long run to compensate for the calories.

Today I seem to have an unnatural focus on food and it seems like more than normal. I am not even that hungry but I just keep thinking about Taco Bell and looking at menus for different restaurants. I know that I am just torturing myself but sometimes it helps take the focus off of being hungry and I feel better looking at the bad stuff but still saying no. I know it sounds weird but I feel stronger afterwards, like I am building up a tolerance to the temptation.

Once I finish up at work I will head over to the gym for another round of punishment…

ps: Got on the scale after the gym and I am officially down 20.5 pounds....WAAAAA HOOOOOO

give an inch...take a carbohydrate

I got up this morning will all the resolve in the world. I had a stern talking to with myself and I explained that there would be no more just testing food, no more “quality control”, no more cheat days, no more alcohol, no more slacking on my runs, and no more listening to my starved, deprived, whiny inner fat kid. I am still standing strong but my will power is wavering. This morning I made my breakfast of three egg whites with ½ an avocado, forgot to put garlic salt on it, didn’t cook it all the way in my haste to eat, and packed a spoon instead of a fork. This is what happens when you take a few days off from preparing your food. So now I am hungry because I couldn’t eat runny egg whites with no taste and the frustration of eating with a spoon. This is making it really hard not to cheat… I have a bowl of tomato soup in my desk that just keeps calling my name. Somebody in the office is also eating popcorn so the smell of that combined with my hunger and lack of food is killing me. The only thing that is holding me back is my lack of weight loss last week, it was obvious that I didn’t eat as well or run as hard as I should of.

I am the epitome of give an inch, take a mile. If I give myself any kind of wiggle room then I can rationalize eating whatever I want. I think the downhill started with the office potluck on Friday and ended with a burger Saturday night. I started to gain back some control on Sunday and I had a chicken veggie bowl for lunch and chicken salad (no mayo) for dinner. My work outs were ok, Saturday we went to go run the mountain but we only made one trip before my stomach started acting up and heather got light headed. Sunday we kicked the poop out ourselves with my new favorite Spartan WOD (it takes up quite a bit of time but it’s worth it). I ended up sweaty, out of breath, and much happier with myself.

Pray for me this week as I try to tackle the inner fat kid… He is armed with waffle fries and self doubt(a killer combination) but I am armed with loose fitting pants and the will to enjoy chicken and salad.

Spartan WOD

50 body weight squats

15 burpees

50 lunges (25 each leg)

25 sit ups

15 push ups

25 jumping jacks

1 minute plank

20 kettle bell swings

Repeat 1-12 times (we have only made it to 5)

3-5 mile run

Laurens super awesome healthy delicious Chicken salad J

1 grilled chicken breast (chopped up or shredded)

¼  cup red bell pepper, chopped

¼ cup onion (more or less for your preferences)

1 tbls feta

½ avocado mashed up (should be the consistency of guacamole)

Garlic salt (to taste)

Lemon juice (to taste)

Ok here is a little back story on how the chicken salad came to be….last week I was making dinner and I wanted anything but 3 cups of lettuce with a side of grilled chicken (not that it’s not delicious but variety is the spice of life!). I was making Scott an egg salad sandwich for dinner and I was thinking about how good a chicken salad sandwich sounded while also grumbling to myself about the lack of mayonnaise in my diet. So I decided to try and make up a healthy chicken salad with no mayo, no bread, and a whole lot of taste. I took the avocado and mashed it up like I would guacamole, added some garlic salt, chopped up the remaining ingredients and mixed it all together. It was easy, healthy, delicious, and most important it was filling. I liked it so much that I have made it for dinner 5 nights in a row J it would be better with a whole wheat pita to scoop up all the deliciousness but I made do with a spoon.

36 hours...6 pounds

I survived vacation.. well I kind of survived vacation. My liver still refuses to talk to me much less process any more alcohol. I gained a good 6 pounds in California then came back for a week, lost the 6 pounds, went to Texas and found out that those sneaky bastards were hiding in Texas!! So the 6 pounds found me again. I’ve already lost 3 of them and I am hoping the lose the rest by Sunday (the the pizza countdown officially begins!). I had a fantastic 36 hours in Texas, I earned every one of those 6 pounds. There were piles of homemade mexican food (nobody can cook like my family), 4 pounds of beans, copious amounts of alcohol, jello shots, no sleep, laughing, crying, yelling(not in a bad way that’s just how we prefer to communicate),champagne at breakfast, staying up until 2 am, whataburger, bull riding, chris cagle, and again… a lot of alcohol Whew I am tired just thinking about it. I did get up and run 3 miles on Sunday before the party started again but it was a slow run and it was a painfull run. I thought the heat here was bad,its nothing compared to the heat and humidity at 10 am in Texas. So now I am back, back to the real world, real salad, and real cravings. I have done ok this week, I had a couple week moments but I always got right back on track. Workouts have been hard but nothing out of the ordinary. We are going to do a big mountain run on Saturday if you would like to join me and heather just let me know (TBird mtn H3 trail at 4:30am). I have 6 more pounds until I let myself have pizza.I am craving it all day everyday now its been almost 2 monthsmonths since the last time I had pizza. I think I want to go all out and go to Grimaldis or possibly Barros. I have days that are mentally worse than others. Days where I want to give up and eat whatever I want and days where me and my metabolism can conquer anything. As always its ups…downs… andpizza filled pot holes

Do they give medal's for turning down deliciously bad food?

Saturday morning I went hiking/running/crawling/dying with my partner in crime Heather. It was brutal but it was a fantastic workout, so great in fact we decided to run it twice. It wasn't  the smartest idea we have ever had but it burned a shit ton of calories and I felt less guilty about my cheat meal. I am still sore from the run, I feel like somebody beat me with a stick all over my body. Today was better but yesterday I was dying. Today we did another Spartan Workout of the Day, brutal but efficient.

3-5 mile run
50-200 body weight squats
50-100 push ups
4 minute plank
50-200 lunges
10-50 burpees
50-200 crunches

(We did the max but broke it into to sets)

I started to hop on the pity train this weekend. I wanted to eat like a normal person and not feel guilty or have to run 7 miles in order to eat a 540 calorie breakfast with GASP...CARBS!!! but before the pity train could derail my healthy lifestyle into the intersection of pizza boulevard and fried cheese corner I tried to remember that eating what I wanted wasn't going to get me where I wanted to be. There are days that I have to remember what exactly it is that I want, why I want it, and what I am willing to do to get there. Every day its almost the same thing. I eat breakfast, then I am hungry and I think about lunch and how far away 11 am is, then I eat lunch, then I think about kit kat bars and dr. pepper, then I go workout, then I come home spend time with the hubby and kill a giant salad. I always realize after the meal that eating healthy wasn't that bad, I don't ever regret having a salad but I know that I would have regretted eating a pizza.

Last Thursday I went to BJ's brewery for one of my friends Birthday dinner... You don't know how strong you are until you stare down a party plater of pizzouki (hot melty giant cookie topped with ice cream) I actually had to get up and pretend to go to the bathroom where I had a stern talking to myself. I felt like a deserved a medal of honor after I stared down the cookie but that may be slightly over dramatic......

Hump Day

We officially started this journey two weeks ago on June 12 since then I have lost 14 lbs and Heather has lost 21lbs total! How bad ass is that?!

I still have this week and next week before I leave for California and I am determined to look halfway decent in a bathing suit by then. I want to lay on the beach, get a tan, hang out with one of my best friends, and possibly enjoy a few adult beverages. I will not be “dieting” on this vacation but I will try and eat in moderation most of the time. Its only two days but I know I can do a lot of damage in those two days! I am looking forward to Carbs…Sweet, sweet, delicious, tasty carbs. If I can talk Amy into I want to go to Hash House a Go Go they have the best breakfast and amazing coffee, if I am going to cheat that is the place to do it!

After I go to California I go back to work for a week and then we fly out to Texas to go see my family. I am so excited I can barely stand it! I get to spend time with my Aunts/Uncles/Cousins/Grandparents/Mom and Hubby. Plus Scott has never been to Texas to visit my family so that should be an experience! But again it will be a fight to stay on track. I won’t be dieting but I will be watching myself very closely, I have a feeling most of the calories are going to come from the adult beverages.

Today went good. I still feel guilty that I didn't get up and run this morning but I was so cranky and tired last night that I took the extra 15 minutes of sleep for a mental break. I ran tonight to make up for the extra sleep this morning and really tried to push myself hard. I did 4 minutes at 7mph and then 1 minute at 5 mph pace for 30 minutes. I ran just over 3 miles in that time and I was breathing pretty hard when I got off the treadmill. We then did our Bosu ball work out, we upped our weights to 20's and 15 lb dumbells. That sucked big time, the 25's killed me. I am still sore from my workout on Monday so that made today and yesterday even harder. 

I am still staying in my boundaries with food and even though some days I would kill for a piece of toast or give up my first born for a piece of french toast...nom nom nom. OK food day dreams are done, I am going to bed where I can dream of pizza, cold beer, and snickers bars (I still want that damn snickers bar from the work candy drawer)

Happy Hump Day!! Eat a Salad, Drink some Water, and pretend that Filibertos doesn't taste or sound good! 

Who wants to invest in a children/donut farm? Any takers??

Todays battle against the fat kid was laced with bagels, donuts, chick fila, soda, diabetes, and a whole herd of children ranging in ages. Let me back up and explain so you don't think I run a child farm where I raise donuts for profit (A deliciously creepy idea...the donuts are delicious not the kids... crap... ok I'm stopping now). Today was take your kid to work day because who doesn't love screaming children running around the office jacked up on Mountain Dew and chicken nuggets? Ok that came out too mean, the kids were very well behaved and it was fun to watch them call and ask people for money... But because we had kids running around today, Sunstate had a catered lunch for all the kids and their parents (this is where the chick fila comes in). They brought in Chick Fila which is one of my favorites! There were platters of chicken nuggets, chicken sandwiches, and waffle fries... And that was just lunch! When I got to work there were fresh, warm, Einstein bagels with cream cheese and I could smell them from my desk! I had just finished making it through the bagel gauntlet when all of a sudden our receptionist is at my desk with donut holes from dunkin donuts!! Yes I did notice the excessive use of exclamation points in the last few sentences but seriously?! bagels, donuts, and chick fila!!!!!! Well I took my scroogness and bah humbugged myself right outside for lunch by myself in the heat just so I could eat my grilled chicken and salad in peace and without the smell of chick fila enticing me into cheating. So HA! take that delicious food

Workouts have been food, I slept through two alarms on Thursday so I had to get my lazy but out of bed this morning and go run. I tried to pick up my pace and made it a little bit farther today. It can be frustrating to go to the gym and run 3 miles in under 30 minutes but then go outside and barely make it past 2 miles in the same amount of time. Diet has been good too, lots of salads, egg whites, and chicken. I have to spice my foods up because I just cannot eat plain lettuce, plain chicken, and plain egg whites every day. Breakfast is 3 egg whites, 1/2 avocado, and sometimes I will add some homemade green salsa for an extra kick. Lunch is usually very plain, salad with grilled chicken leftover from the night before but I started marinating the chicken . Dinner is grilled chicken with salad. My dinner salad is more elaborate than just lettuce, I use spring mix and top it with bell peppers, avocado, reduced fat feta, and lemon juice for dressing. Today I just could not eat another salad for dinner so I made more egg whites with avocado and salsa but I did have some grilled chicken with it.

I also want to thank everybody for the amazing outpouring of support! You have no idea how awesome it is to hear from friends from high school that I haven't talked to in years. Just to pop in and say hi makes me feel like what I am doing is worth it... My family has been amazing as well. To hear that my sister in law has started running, or that Heather has lost 20 pounds (Can I get a hell ya?!) my mother in law is even making me salad with chicken for dinner on Monday! My parents follow me and call me to tell me that they really liked the blog, my grandparents read it and I couldn't do any of this without my husband who stands by me and eats salad every night with a smile on his face just so I won't be tempted to cheat. With a support system like that I can't fail!

11 pounds down! take that kick to the teeth fatty....

Happy Saturday

I made it through the week...by the skin of my teeth, but I made it! In four days I lost 7 pounds!!!
 HOLY SHIT!

It's amazing how eating right and cutting the crap out of my diet helps ha ha. We went out to dinner last night and because I didn't want to go all crazy on food and end up rolling around in a bed of pizza we went to Pita Jungle. They have plenty of healthy options (plus some deliciously bad options if you're in the mood) and I managed to stay on track even out at a restaurant. I had a greek salad (romaine, tomatoes, cucumber, red onion, feta) with dressing on the side and I asked for grilled chicken on top for some extra protein. It was really good and it filled me up. According to my calorie tracker it was around 700 calories but that still brought me in under my calorie goal for the day.

Today I got up early and went for my 50 minute run, I wanted to get up and out the door before my body had a chance to say.."HEY! oh HELL NO! get back in bed and snuggle with your pillows and dogs right now! Don't you know its Saturday??!!"  I ended up running 4.2 miles in 50 minutes which is around a 12 minute pace. I really need to get my mile times down before fall. I really want to run my half in 2 hours or under. Realistically I would be happy with just running faster than my first 1/2 marathon (2:35) but I need to prove to myself how far I have come and how far I can go. Maybe one day I will even enjoy running...


Today I am hanging out with my sister in law and we have a big day planned :) golfing, wet n wild, and carbs... WHOA GET CRAZY!

Happy Saturday Everyone

pizzapocalypse 2012

Today was day 3 of eating right and marathon/mudder training. I am still feeling the effects of detoxing, I am very very very tired and I am constantly hungry. I did my 3 30 minute runs and evening lifting sessions with Heather and I stayed on track with my diet. Today was a struggle, it was the pizza apocalypse of 2012. If you have ever read my blog before then you know that I have an unhealthy relationship with pizza, it's my favorite food. Today at work my boss decided to buy the department lunch and of course they HAD to order pizza! So there I am sitting at my desk nodding along with everyone thinking  "it's cool I got this! I will just eat my salad and stay away." 11:00 came and I ran to the break room to eat the food I had been thinking about from the moment I finished my breakfast. But to my horror I had forgotten to pack a new bag of salad, so I had 1/2 cup lettuce and a chicken breast. I tried to make it last as long as I could and gulp my water in between and that lasted about 2 minutes. Dawna felt so bad for me that she gave me one of her string cheese which I also devoured. We sat outside for an hour eating lunch as I silently prayed that all the pizza would be gone when we went back inside, but no that would be too easy...I walk inside, go back to my desk and realize that the leftover pizza is sitting on the cabinet that is right in front of my desk. I can smell it, I can imagine it how it tastes, and I want to rub my face in it (yes i know how creepy that sounds). So most of my afternoon was spent trying to talk myself out of pizza. I had one very weak moment and as soon as I realized it was going in the break room to be put away I went to go sneak a piece.I argued with myself the entire way but I was hungry and looking forward to eating my feelings in shame by myself. But the fates were working against me and there were other people in the break room so I acted like I just needed to fill my water bottle and went back to my desk. After that moment I really realized the power food has over me and how important it is that I find the ability to say no to 1 piece of pizza. The rest of the afternoon went smoother and I didn't try and sneak anymore pizza.

After surviving the pizzapocalypse 2012 I went to the gym and we did the tough mudder workout, sat in the steam room, and weighed ourselves. I am so proud of my sister in law for losing the weight and sticking to our diet plan. It's weird that we both smile now when we get off the scale. It makes me realize how bad we were eating before, we aren't working out any harder but the weight is falling off. No processed foods, no sugar, and no caffeine. I made a salad for dinner with spring mix, avocado, bell peppers, chicken, and lemon juice for dressing.

I found a picture today that really made me think and it pushed my to get through the rest of my day...

" If you are tired of starting over, STOP giving up"

I hope everyone has a great weekend/fathers day, I will pray to the food gods for strength against carbs and fat :)

The Joys of Detox

Day 1 is always fun. I have a throbbing headache, I am hungry, and I am very cranky. BUT!! I did get up and run this morning and I did go to the gym when I got home from work. Today’s foods have included Egg whites with avocado and a light sprinking of cheese, grilled chicken breast leftover squash and salad for lunch, dinner will be grilled chicken and salad again. I need to do this to prove to myself that I can, I don’t have to give in every time I think I am hungry. I have been drinking green tea to make up for being so hungry, the caffeine withdrawal, and the sugar withdrawal.  YAY DETOXING!!! I didn’t think it would be so hard to give up coffee! This is a sign that I need to cut back on the coffee, I usually have about a cup a day but I think it will be a weekend only drink from now on. However   because I am not drinking coffee I am also very very tired. That could be because I was up at 4:30 this morning, or the lack of sugar and caffeine... 

I really need to work on being uncomfortable and being in pain... not the oh dear god I think I just tore something kind of pain but the oh dear god I can't breathe and my legs are jello kind of pain. I always run until it gets hard and then I walk. As soon as my calves start to cramp or I start wheezing I immediately go to grab the side rails on the treadmill, I step to the sides, or slow all the way down to a walk. Of course I tell myself its because my Pandora just skipped and I don't have the balance to fix it while I run, or I need a drink of water and heaven knows I can't run and drink at the same time! That's crazy talk!! Either way I end up not pushing myself as hard as I could. This week I started talking to myself while I run (not in a crazy person talking to the voices kind of way) I just try to keep reminding myself to keep going, work through the paid, you can do it!*

So now its 8pm and I am going to bed... I wish that was just because I am so tired from working out but I really just like sleeping and I function better on old people hours :) 

* That is censored version of what I tell myself, what I actually tell myself would make a football coach blush...

Roasted Summer Squash

I needed a new veggie to eat for dinner, I was tired of salad every night so we tried a new recipe. Turned out great, it's healthy  and easy to make so win-win. 

4 squash ( I used 2 green and 2 yellow)

1Tbls of extra light olive oil

2 Tbls fresh pesto 

salt and pepper to taste

pre heat the oven to 500 degrees

cut the squash into 1 inch chunks

toss in the olive oil until coated

place on a cookie sheet and into the oven

let roast for 5-7 minutes

turn over and roast for another 5-7 miuntes until slightly browned and tender

take out of the oven and toss with the pesto and salt/pepper

Enjoy!! 

Where's the re-set button on this thing?

The first week of marathon training is done, we did 3-30 minute runs during the week and 1-50 minute run on the weekend. The 30 minute runs were done inside on a treadmill averaging 9-10 minute miles. Saturday I decided that I would run outside. My alarm went off at 5:15am and after I hit the snooze button 5 or 6 times I made it out the door by 5:45. I ran, walked, cried, cursed the running gods and made it back home in 47 minutes running 3.65 miles. Not my best run...I have been spending too much time inside on the treadmill and depending on the treadmill to propel me forward. We decided to alter the marathon training and stay on last weeks training schedule until we are able to run 50 minutes at race pace. This means that starting this week I have to get my lazy butt out of bed, put my running shoes on, and start running. Even as I write this I am regretting this decision. I like my sleep and the extra 30 minutes I get in bed being lazy now that I work out at night. I will still continue to work out at night but Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday I will have to get up and run.

Today we did the Spartan race Workout of the Day... It sucked. But as the gym manager pointed out when we were leaving "You are sweaty and out of breath, must have been a good workout!" 

I know you are all dying to know what the Spartan WOD was and I won't hold you in suspense any longer. 

Behold the Horribleness we subjected ourselves to ( It's not that bad but I am feeling slightly over dramatic today)

10 burpees                             *** we are not cool enough to run 1 mile in between 10 sets

10 Pushups

20 Lunges                               ***We are cool enough to run 1/2 miles in between 5 sets

1/4-1mile run 

3-10 times 

We then proceeded to the pull up/dip machine congratulating ourselves in between breaths and showed our muscles to each other (Yes we are those people, shut the hell up) then followed up with abs. 

We also decided that the rest of the week would be filled with Egg Whites, grilled chicken, and green veggies. We have been eating so bad lately that I felt like a needed to hit the re-start button and get my mind used to saying no, walking away from the donuts, and staying on track. Salads have been purchased, chicken has been grilled, and I am looking forward to my egg white and avocado omelet. 

Scott has been reluctantly dragged into this with me but like the awesome husband that he is, he ate his grilled chicken and squash with a smile. 

it's more of a waddle...

I am leaving for San Diego in about 5 weeks, it will be a girls weekend with one of my best friends as the boys go off to Colorado to do boy stuff (grunt, scratch themselves, drink beer, and climb mountains). This means I will be in a swimsuit…on a beach… in PUBLIC. Operation eat rabbit food and drink green tea is officially in motion!! The next few weeks will be tough. I am going to be hungry, angry, starving but dammit if I won’t look decent on a beach by July! I am still working out with my sister in law almost every afternoon after work. We do a combo cardio/strength workout to get ready for the Tough Mudder Race and what we originally planned to be a half marathon. After reading everyone’s posts last weekend about the San Diego rock and roll marathon I decided that it was time to really give myself something to cry over. I decided that I would run my first (and probably last) full marathon in 2013. And then I immediately wished I could take the words thathad just spewed out of my mouth right back. I can’t run a marathon!! I am overweight, 25, and not a runner. Yes I can run, yes I have run 2 half marathons but in no way shape or form does that make me a runner. I am more of a waddler if anything… But I said I would do it (Scott heard me say it, no backing out now) and I have recruited my sister in law to join me. So every day in addition to our normal strength routine we have added the 16 week marathon training program. This involves 3 light to moderate running days during the week and one long run on the weekends. This week we did 3 30 min runs and on Saturday we will do a 50 minute run. I am hoping to stay in the 12 minute range for the marathon and A: just finish B: not die and C: finish AROUND 5 hours. I don’t think that is asking too much! The longest I will run before the marathon is 18miles...bleh!! And to be honest that scares the crap out of me! 18 miles???!!! Oh hell. I’m not even going to think about the 26.2 until I can think about 18 miles without wanting to puke or cry.

I can make FOOD (an inanimate object) feel uncomfortable...

The best way to describe how I feel about food is that it is a battle, every day, every meal, every workout, every moment of every day. Yes that may be slightly over dramatic but that is how it feels. Every day I wake up I want a Cinnabon extra large cinnamon roll, doesn’t matter that an egg white omelet is delicious or that a bowl of fruit will fill me up, I still want what I can’t have. The devil foods cake on one shoulder and the angel on the other, eat the cake, don’t eat the cake, eat the pizza, have a banana, watch greys anatomy in your sweat pants with Ben and Jerry, go for a run…etc etc

Today I had oatmeal for breakfast (150 cal) with 2 cups of coffee and by 10 am I was starving. I know, how can I be “starving” 3 hours after breakfast? No idea but I would have killed a box of krispy kremes if they were in front of me, I would have been crying in a corner as I ate them but I still would have destroyed them.  But because we didn’t have any krispy kremes or any other bad choices free and available, I went and got the apple I packed for lunch. Woofed that down and then tried to imagine that I wasn’t still hungry…well that dream lasted about 30 seconds before I was back in the lunch room working my way through my lunch. I had a piece of the left over pizza from last night (calm down people I made it at home with whole wheat crust, skim mozzarella, and turkey pepperoni) I was planning on eating it with my lunch but that was in the dream life where I eat only what I’m supposed to when I’m supposed to. I finished that and I was at least able to hold off on eating lunch for a few more minutes. 10:35 hit and I was in the lunch room creating a salad of epic proportions (not really but I like to build it up in my mind to make myself feel better) it was just a bag of premade salad, feta cheese, and light balsamic dressing on the side; healthy, delicious, low calorie, and filling. So the battle against the fat kid is over at least for now, I will have to gear up again for dinner and then tonight when we take my boss out for retirement drinks. I am still working on building up an arsenal against the fat kid, right now it includes Scott(very persuasive when it comes to talking me down the from the pizza ledge), the gym (where I go to clear my head of all the negative thoughts), the mudder (because jiggly fat arms will not help pull myself up a 20ft wall), and good old fashioned catholic guilt.

Side note:

 I stared down a serving of sweet and sour chicken today… I could have motor boated the chicken, stuck my face right in it and devoured its deliciousness. But I didn’t, I wanted to, I still want to but I am going to stay strong. At least that’s what I keep telling myself. You don’t want chicken, your don’t want delicious sweet and sour chicken, you don’t want amazing Chinese food… ok dammit that’s not working. Lauren you don’t want chicken that is going to go right to your ass and never leave, you don’t want to have to go to the gym on your rest day, you don’t want to have to add an extra mile to your run tomorrow. Ok slightly better, at least it’s not my main focus anymore. Mmmmm chicken

Fat Kid Update

It’s May almost June and 9 months since I first started down the road to a healthier life style. The road has been filled with ups and downs, bumps, pot holes, and Pizza. I am not where or who I wanted to be and my weight has been all over the place but I am still working on myself. You may be asking yourself (probably not, but I can dream)  Hey why hasn’t Lauren blogged lately about her fascinating, relatable, HILLARIOUS struggle with weight loss? Well fans of the fat kid I have mostly been distracted by eating, more eating, a little bit of life, and a whole lot of self pity. I let myself feel bad and pretend that eating whatever I wanted wouldn’t have a negative effect on my health, mind or general well being. Unfortunately it did have an effect, mostly on my pant size, my sense of self worth, and my happiness. I know a number on a scale shouldn’t decide whether or not I am happy and it doesn’t entirely rule how I feel but it does affect me.  And when I’m not happy that creates a ripple effect to my friends and family. I don’t want to say that I’m not happy, because I am. I have an amazing husband, 3 “kids”, a great job, and a great family but I don’t think I am as happy as I could be and my weight is the difference. So no more self pity, loathing, or general whining (which I am REALLY good at)

So what has the fat kid been up to?

 Hmmm well the new job is going great, love the company and the lower stress levels. I don’t love the snack drawer that I swear calls my name… Lauren eat more snickers… Lauren there is peanut butter in here…Lauren the one thing you are missing is a bag of buttered popcorn…Lauren I can hear your pants button popping off from here….

I decided to run in the 2013 AZ Tough Mudder, I am 100% sure that this is a terrible idea that I will regret the moment I reach the electric eel

(a “fun” little obstacle where you crawl through water and try to avoid the hanging live wires)  Luckily I will have a support team with me to help shove my ass into the obstacles when I try to back out. Scott, Heather, and Chris L. have all agreed to run, because we are idiots and enjoy different forms of torture on cold ass Sunday mornings in February.  I will also be running my 3^rd half marathon in January at Disneyland, if I can afford it I will also run the women’s half in November and PF changes in January. If..IF I accomplish all of this in a reasonable manner, with only minor injuries then my next goal will be to run a full marathon.

I still try to take each day one at a time, focus on making it through one meal without extra layer of fat to my ass or blocking an artery. We are a lot better at what kind of food we make at home, and not going out as much. We are each other support systems, last night Scott wanted Dairy Queen but I smashed that dream into the ground like a bug, today I wanted a snickers bar (Damn snack drawer) but all Scott had to say was dairy queen and I understood, paybacks a bitch but I understood. The craving will pass and I will be much happier knowing that I didn’t eat the snickers. At least that’s what I keep telling myself, I still want the F@*^ing snickers bar….

Workouts have been going good; I meet Heather at the gym 5-6 days a week. We do some kind of run ranging in time (10-60min) miles (1-5) and intensity (sprints/ hills/pace). The run is followed by a strength circuit, sometimes we do the mudder workout, or Scott writes a program, or we find it in books. Mile times are slowing coming down; I can now keep a 10min mile pace for around 1 hour.  Working out with somebody has made the biggest difference, I don’t hate or loathe going to the gym like I did before. I like getting to spend time with Heather and we push each other to lift more and not bitch out or whine…mostly because we are both scared shitless of Tough Mudder.

If you receive a text/call/email/twitter from me about what bad food I am craving tell me to cram it and go run.

Is fist pumping a workout?

Today is the first day in the past month or so that I feel like I actually have something to say. Writing isn't always easy for me and I have spent the past two months feeling sorry for myself and letting myself go back where I never thought I would be again. But today I have something to say, the inner skinny kid wants to fight back so I am letting him have his say. Its time to stop calling it my inner fat kid, I have an outer fat kid and an inner skinny kid. I am overweight, out of shape, and just plain tired. The skinny kid is fighting to get out and I keep beating him back down (its's really not hard to do, he is easily pursuaded by pizza)

So here is an update as to what I have been up to....
1. started a new job, its a great job and I love what I am doing. My stress level is way down, I am home at night, and I get to spend a lot more time with my family. However I not as active as I was before, I spend most of my day in a office chair except for the 30 min or so I go out and walk during lunch. Office life is different, I used to be around people that were in fairly decent shape. There were definitely a lot of people on the ambulance who weren't in shape unless you count round as a shape but they could lift a gurney or a patient when it came down to it. I always looked at the patients and thought how much I did not want to be like them but there is a disconnect when you are the EMT and they are the patient. You don't put yourself in the same category as them, you are better then them, you are healthier, you are younger, etc etc. But now that I work in the office I am one of them, there is no separation of healthy and sick or young and old. We are just all office staff. More than half of the office has type 2 diabetes, there are a couple with pancreatitis, and more than a few who are setting up for a major cardiac event. I am right there with them, not as far along the track but I am getting there. You would think that this would have made me want to eat lettuce and water but I have had a free for all lately.

2. I have gained back some of the weight I lost not a lot, mostly muscle tone. I am trying to get back into going to the gym after work. Now that I have more time I don't have any excuse not to go.

3. I have been trying to work on my coping skills for stress, and anger. I realized that I have been channeling a lot of those things into what I am eating. Bad day at work? eat a donut. Mad because you gained weight? Have a beer! Saying NO! is the hardest part. I can make the right food, and study work out guides until my eyes cross but it doesn't do any good If I don't put the work in.
So now its time to put in some work, some really hard, fist pumping, oatmeal eating, weight lifting work. I am not sure where the fist pumping comes into  place but it just felt right. ANNNND in the spirit of complete honesty....here is my horrible diet diary, not so bad workout diary, and my steps according to my pedometer

Breakfast- bfast sandwhich(crossiant, cheese, ham, egg) fruit bowl
lunch- ft long turkey sandwhich on wheat, no cheese, lettuce, tomato, mayo mustard onion oil vinegar salt pepper
snack- crunch bar
predinner snack- hummus with whole wheat pita
Dinner - whole wheat spaghetti with heart smart sauce and chicken sausage

workout- squats with 40lb rack, push ups, seated row, step ups, physioball curls, 10 min walk 4.0 speed, 5% incline

Pedometer: 10,674 steps (anything over 10k is good)

Chair Ass.

I am now getting ready for my first friday at my new job. I have almost made it through a whole week. I haven't been fired, I kinda know what I am doing, and when someone says lien waver I don't puke anymore :)  That being said I am all new to office life. I have to get used to office politics and all the food! Jesus, offices love to eat! Its killing me! I have seen cupcakes, monkey bread was mentioned in my interview, there is a candy drawer filled with type 2 diabetes, and today we are having a breakfast. Its been great getting to know my co-workers and the cupcakes were actually a fundraiser but I feel like everyday is a gauntlet of food I can't eat. I want to eat it, it looks delicious and my lean cuisine has nothing on the options provided (For Freeeee) but I must resist! The silver lining is that the new job makes it way easier for me to get to the gym, If I am at the gym between 4:45-5am then I can work out, get ready, and make it to carpool around 6:45. I no longer have any excuses. I let the holidays take over and I while I did lose the weight I gained, its time to get rid of that and more. I don't want my ass to look like the seat of my new awesome rolling chair (you have to enjoy the small things in life). I want a runners ass, or once again lets go back to Jessica Biel...lets take a moment of silence for the best body a girl could ask for...................................................................................................................

 I am off to my first friday as a cubicle occupant.... Pray for my strength against monkey bread, bacon, and eggs (the holy trinity of breakfast) now that I think of it, and again this is my wierdo imagination working overload but I just imagined myself standing in the corner, drooling, and rocking back in forth trying to withstand the powers of bacon. That might scare some of my co-workers who are not aware of my bacon issues... 

Happy Friday!!!!

French Fries

Get excited! This recipe allows you to eat what you are craving while still staying low calorie!


French Fries

2 russet potatoes (Peeled and cut into 1/4 in fries)
1Tbls evoo
1tsp salt
1tsp cayenne pepper (optional)

Heat your oven to 425degress
toss potatoes in Evoo, salt, and cayenne pepper
Spread evenly across cookie sheet
cook for 20-25 minutes or until the fries are starting to brown on the outside


Its super easy! and for less than 150 calories...

Buffalo Chicken Sandwiches

This is from the Cook This Not That cookbook, I recommend picking it up If you don't have it already. The recipes are amazing, low calorie, nutrient packed, and cost efficient.


Buffalo Chicken Sandwiches - 4 servings

You'll need:
1/4 cup crumbled blue cheese
1/2 cup Greek yogurt
Juice of half a lemon
Salt and pepper to taste
4 boneless, skinless chicken breasts (4 to 6 oz each)
1/2 Tbsp chili powder
1 red onion, sliced
2 Tbsp butter, melted in the microwave for 20 seconds
2 Tbsp hot sauce (Frank's Red Hot is our pick)
4 romaine lettuce leaves
4 sesame buns, toasted

How to make it:
1 Preheat a nonstick grill or grill pan. As it's heating, combine the blue cheese, yogurt, and lemon juice, plus a pinch of salt and pepper. Stir and set aside.

2 Season the chicken breasts with salt, pepper, and chili powder. Add the breasts to the hot grill and cook for 5 to 6 minutes on one side before flipping them.

3 Add the onion to the grill's perimeter. (If you're using a grill pan, you'll need to wait to remove the chicken before grilling the onions.) Cook the chicken until firm and springy to the touch, 4 to 5 minutes more. Remove it to a plate, along with the grilled onions.

4 Combine the butter and hot sauce and brush the mixture all over the chicken. Place a leaf of romaine on the base of each bun. Top with a chicken breast and spoon on some blue-cheese sauce(I switched out a slice of mozzarella cheese due to my intense hatred of Blue Cheese). Add grilled onions and the top half of the bun. Makes 4 servings

Per Serving: 421 calories, 44 grams (g) protein, 25 g carbohydrates (1 g fiber), 16 g fat, 680 mg sodium

Happy Friday

Well even though I want to cheat, and I would be cheating if I could.... I forgot my wallet :) so the fates are working against the fat kid today. They said, NO CHIPOTLE FOR YOU! I can't complain that much because I did bring my own lunch and I had breakfast before I left for work. I am just having one of those days where nothing really sounds good. I had kashi cereal for breakfast which is very good, healthy, and most importantly it actually fills me up. I brought low calorie healthy choice soup for lunch, and cheese sticks and a protein shake for snacks. So I am not going to starve, the fat kid seems to think that that is the case but he can shove it. Last night I made a recipe out of the Cook this not that cookbook. It was supposed to be hot wing chicken sandwiches with french fries but the dogs ate the bread so... we just had the chicken with fries. Now don't get all worked up just because I mentioned the words french and fry in the same sentence. These weren't your normal Mcdonalds fries, I used a recipe and portioned them out so they were less than 100 calories per serving . They paired nicely with the chicken especially because the dogs ate our other serving of carbs. I will put up the recipe along with calorie content if anybody is interested :)

Some of you may not know this yet but I am leaving Southwest Ambulance to join an Equipment rental company and next week will be my last week. I am going to miss a lot of things about SWA including the people, the adrenaline rush of a good ems call, and the daily dose of laughter provided by my daily dose of idiots who call 911.  I am also excited for a new adventure, but with this new adventure comes a whole new set of worries, complications, and stressors. The only one pertaining to the fat kid however is the fact that I will now be an office dwelling, cube occupying, large ass growing part of corporate america :) I know it is stupid but I am actually worried about going from a fairly sedentary job where I occasionally had to lift a gurney, pull a extra wide person across a bed, or just get up and move in general to a job where I sit in a chair for the better part of 8 hours. Of course there will be stairs to walk up and down and I will have more time (and hopefully be less tired) to make it to the gym. My hours will also be changing to a more normal schedule so I can go before work or after. I still worry that my ass will start to look like an office chair...Any suggestions to combat this will be welcome! except working on a treadmill, I can't afford that.

Enjoy your weekend. If you are going to be running in the Tough Mudder or PF Changs, GOOD LUCK and I am jealous. I will be helping a friend work Changs so say hi if you see me :) 

A day in the life....

 Picture 1: This is the red raspberry danish that I picked up and stared at for about 20 minutes, debating whether or not I was going to eat it. I looked at calories and fat, rated how good it would actually taste, worried about people finding out I had eaten, and finally put back in the basket where I found it.

 Picture 2: This is the back of the Red Raspberry danish...notice all the ingredients just for a freakin danish?! I think danishes should have less than 300 ingredients ( I may be a little over dramatic about that number) also notice the 350 calories just for a danish that would have taken me 2 seconds to eat, left me hungry, and probably tasted like shit

Picture 3: This is what is usually stocked in EMS rooms. When you haven't eaten a meal all day or are dead broke they are a god send but when you have carrots in the ambulance and you have to make the decision between the two, it can get very tricky

Picture  4: this is the fridge in the EMS room, I took this picture at night time so its pretty empty but if you can see its filled with soda, powerade, sandwiches, and water. I usually steal as much water as I can because I try to drink a gallon a day and this helps my wallet.


So this is what I battle every day. I look at the food, I pick it up, I think about it, I guilt trip myself, Imagine the look on my imaginary kids faces when I die from a heart attack and then I put it back...usually. Its hard and most of the time I try to stay away from them. Its also hard to get mad when the hospital is stocking these items for us at no cost, I appreciate all they do for us and like I said when you having one of those days when a breakfast, lunch or dinner break is nonexistent they are life savers. Some are better, some are worse. There is one hospital in the west valley that almost has water, apples, and oranges but there is one in the east valley that has bagels, candy bars, and chips...

ps: an EMS room is a room inside the ER of a hospital that is set aside for paramedics/emts to finish paperwork after we drop off a patient. 

Resolutions

Its a new year and that means its time for New Years Resolutions. Me and Scott have decided that part of of our new years resolution will be to cut down on how much we eat out. It has become ridiculous how much money we spend (that we don't have) on things we don't need. So it's time to start acting like the domestic goddess I hope to be one day and that means planning...lots of planning. There are women/men/families who do this all the time, I think they call it a habit or something like that. The new cool thing that these domestic goddess are doing and blogging about (which is also the cool new thing) is planning and executing a cooking day. So what you ask is a cooking day? Well not too long ago I was wondering the same thing, I had seen it on   a couple blogs and here and there on pinterest. I have known my mother in law to spend a couple hours or a day in the kitchen whipping up freezer meals so I think I may have to give up a day off and test out my kitchen skills. Now I can cook, fry, steam, and baste with the best of them, and by best of them I mean people like me who can follow a recipe and are not chefs. But to spend an entire day on my feet in a kitchen, sweating, burning fingers and constantly yelling at the dogs to get out of the kitchen is not my idea of fun. BUT! for the sake of our budget, my waistline, and my evening bonding time with the couch, I think I may have to try this! 
So a cooking day is where you spend an entire day cooking ( tough concept I know). You make freezer meals for dinner, pack snacks for weekday, make weekday lunches, make freezer bags filled with smoothie ingredients so all you have to do is throw it in the blender, make homemade egg mcmuffins for breakfast. And you do all of this with fresh produce, lean meats, no preservatives, lots of foil and ziplocks, a 6 pack of calorie free monster(coffee, soda, meth whatever works for you)  to keep you awake and slightly less cranky, and crocs to keep your knees from screaming after you spend 6 hours standing on tile. I think this is something that I will either A: need everybody out of the house for, or B: need a buddy and some wine to get me through it. BUT! at the end you should have a months worth of food and you won't have to spend weekdays worrying about what you will make for dinner, or going to McDonalds for breakfast because you work at 6am and if you want breakfast that means getting up at 4am. Remember this will be a painful trip to the grocery store, come armed with coupons, look for whats on sale, and repeat to yourself over and over again that it is a months worth of food. Once I get my game plan set (grocery list, meal list, xanax prepared) I will post it up here. 


here are a couple links to professional moms who do freezer meals


This lady is amazing, she is the planning guru
http://moneysavingmom.com/2010/02/how-to-plan-bulk-cooking.html  




http://www.beautifulfrugallife.com/2011/11/freezer-cooking-day-prep-and-cooking-schedule-2/

Happy New Year

First let me say, HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! its a time for renewal, new goals, resolutions and all that bullshit :)

I hit the holidays hard. I ate everything in site, I ate all day long and I didn't work out as much as I should.The inner fat kid was more of an outer fat kid and he came to the party in elastic waist pants and baggy sweatshirts. I have lists longer than the day is long as to why I didn't go to the gym or why I decided to eat that 4th piece of pizza. I was sick, its the holidays, its too much trouble to make myself something different..Blah Blah Blah. So today is day 1 of healthy eating. Its countdown time, GAMEFACE! bikini time is slowly approaching and with it comes spring training (aka beer, brauts, and nacho cheese).

Last weekend I went out in style and ate shit all day every day but the good news is I also got my butt off the couch. Sunday and Monday I painted all day and Monday and Monday we also went and hiked Camelback. If you have never hiked camelback, I recommend it. It was fun and horrible all at the same time. I felt Bipolar the whole way up. " I love this, I hate this, the views are beautiful, I can't breathe, woo hoo I am working out, sweet baby jesus kill me now" but as soon as I was finished I was happy with what I had accomplished. If you are interested in going I recommend going really early, there are about 3 parking spots and 87 people waiting for them to open up. Yesterday was the first day I went back to the gym, I ran 3 miles/30min alternating sprints with jogging. I felt ok, my legs are sore today but its a good sore. My new schedule makes it hard for me to get to the gym but I really need to start pushing myself to get there. Food has been Ehhhh.... One meal I do great the next meal I eat whatever I want. I need to start making all my  meals in advance again. My mother law bought me another book in the eat this not that series, it is a collection of recipes that are budget and waistline friendly so I want to start trying different meals out of it.

I am going to be better about posting, I took a couple weeks off during the holidays and now its time to get in gear. I have a lot of work to do on myself for myself and my family. So goodbye cheesecake, goodbye pizza, and goodbye beer. We had a good run and I enjoyed the hell out of these last couple weeks, but you are bad for me and I am kicking you to the curb...again....dammit pizza is one smooth talking sob.