Training Week 5

Holy.Crap.

Where has the time gone? 

I can't believe its been 5 weeks since I started this nonsense

I can proudly say I have not missed one workout

I have had to slide a few around or push back 

but I haven't missed one

not even after I spent a night praying to the porcelain gods after a stomach bug

that was super fun

I have run countless miles

rediscovered the joy of chafing

and fanny packs

I have biked all over the state

my tailbone is in a constant state of sore

I continue to push myself to create new boundaries

 (both public decency and physical exertion)

I have spent what feels like more time in water than out of 

I am remembering why my brother used to call my "Briana Urlacher"

my shoulders no longer fit in cute shirts

only tank tops and football pads

I have washed my spandex more times than I can count 

I am hungry nearly all the time 

my weight has redistributed itself (mostly into my shoulders) 

I can feel a difference

I can see a difference

the scale is being a stubborn bastard

I know a number doesn't mean shit 

but c'monnnnnn

I have eaten more lettuce than I originally thought possible 

I am still working on my nutrition

because nutrition is a fickle little asshole who promises one thing then does another 

Sure! you will totally lose weight if you eat right and run your ass off

Oh.. I am sorry did you mean you wanted to see the scale actually move?

What I meant was you will lose water weight that will immediately come back 10x because you are drinking enough water to drown a manatee

Oh and by the way  I know you are like super hungry and you should be eating 2500cal a day but I meant 2500cal of carrots, grilled chicken, nuts, and lettuce soooo better get started 

and you should probably invest in a trough. 

The amount of "good" food it takes to get to 2500cal is a little bit more than even you eat

yeah. I said even you. 

I've seen you eat

seriously do you breathe?

I am demolishing food like its my job. 

Food is fuel and this tank requires quite a bit these days

Its hard to figure out what works and what doesn't 

its harder to figure that out when you are 15 miles into a bike ride

This is what I have found

bean burritos make excellent night before food

(homemade beans without the extra crap like lard)

They have salt, carbs, and keep you full 

Now that is not actual science(shocking I know)

that is me eating a bean burrito and having a really really good ride the next day

Stinger Honey goo's are the best during a long workout

they taste better than most I have found

the consistency is better 

they are organic

Watered down Gatorade works best for me during long workouts

as a supplement to my stingers 

Cold Ice water when you get home is the nectar of the Gods

Seriously. 

After that a plate full of farm fresh eggs to replenish 

salads make great weekday dinners 

they are light, fast and easy

Kabobs are also awesome 

You can grill almost any vegetable and it will taste badass 

If you get tired of something, don't force yourself to eat it

Don't wait to eat. 

That results in growling and unkind words to your spouse

Listen to your body 99% of the time 

The other 1% when its whining about ice cream and pizza you can tell it to stuff it.

Squatting with Pride

Training Week 2 

Well. 

I am tired, my laundry is never ending, my pants (which may or may not be clean) seem to fit better and I am happy. 

What more can you ask for?

So what went on this week in the wild and crazy world of half Ironman training?

I ran

I swam

I biked

actually I had my ass royally handed to me on the bike

I met some friends for a hilly 13 mile bike ride,  no big deal right?

This was supposed to be my redemption ride. 

Well as I started up the first small hill my lungs gave me a big F*&k off and I fell to the back of the pack

I thought no big deal... I am ok with being at the back of the pack.

I am at one with my slowness

Sprout (the name of my little green bike) and I are very aware that we will not be winning any races

Well then that pack started to pull away

I still though meh, no big deal. 

Then I looked down the barrel of our first "real" hill and I thought maybe I needed new friends.
This is not fun

This is not how normal people spend their Sunday mornings

Normal people eat donuts and sleep in

this is what idiots do

Then I remembered I was the idiot who first signed up for Ironman Oceanside 

These were my fellow idiots

My people 

My very far away people 

So I pedaled

and I cursed

and I said screw this and walked

then I pedaled some more 

cursed some more

made up a few new curse words when I came across what could be the worst hill ever at the turn around point 

Saw a few donkeys

Called my husband for another lesson in small ring vs big ring 

I really really really have to work on hills 

My new goal is to make some hills my bitch

I don't care if I have to live at South Mountain or cry the whole Bartlett Lake ride. 

I refuse to walk my bike anymore

I may not be able to sit down to pee for a while 

But I will squat proudly

Training Week 1

Well I am officially into my 16 week training program for my first half Ironman (HIM). I am exhausted and a little worried that I am this tired after just week one. I am hoping that its the combination of starting a new program, going back to work after 5 days off, and the exhaustion that comes with travel. My program involves working out 5 days a week, 2 rest days, 2 long work out days (Sat/Sun...good luck getting me to stay up past 7 pm those days), and a whole lot of eating. I generally require quite a bit of calories to keep me going but my hunger the last few days has been unreal.  I feel like I never stop eating. I have made a conscious effort to really focus on the kind of calories I am getting and not just the volume. I also decided to give up a few of my guilty pleasures while I am in training because honestly as much as I love pizza, I couldn't figure out how it was going to help me cross the finish line. The finish line is my real focus right now and for the next 16 weeks I have to make it my biggest focus. I will not cross that finish line if I half ass anything, training or eating. I also decided to cut cream from my coffee because I don't need the extra crappy calories, I would rather use them up on another egg for breakfast or a cheese stick with my lunch. Booze is the last thing I cut out (except for Heather/Jolynns Birthday in August). Again it is something that I enjoy but its not going to help me get to the finish line and since these days 1 glass of wine gives me a monster hangover I can't really afford that if I have to get up and run at 5am... 

I also can't afford the 5 rolled tacos I usually enjoy while hungover. 

I know it will get better, I know after a few weeks I will feel stronger and my endurance will increase day by day but right now I am shaking in my spandex. That's probably a good thing, it means I will take this training seriously and work my ass off to push my fears to the side. This is also a much more intense training program than what I have done in the past, even training for the marathon was just a few runs during the week and a long run on weekends. Nothing major... This is major and its pretty freaking cool. Sometimes I have to remind myself of that. 

So the next 16 weeks involve a lot of sunscreen, a lot of "chassis" lube (I found an all natural one that I love so that is exciting), a LOT of food, a lot of sleep, a lot of training, and a whole shitload of laundry.