Race Report: Ironman Arizona 140.Freaking6

I wanted to use another word for Freaking

You're welcome Dad. 

I am an Ironman

I have joined the ranks of crazy bastards who swim 2.4 miles, bike 112 miles, and run 26.2 miles

Ya'll are a bunch of nut-bags

and I am so happy to be here

It was such a long day (16+ hrs) but it seemed to go by in a blur

Friday afternoon I got off work and headed down to check in

I was so stressed and anxious that I almost had a melt down right there in the beach park

I pulled myself together enough to nod along and pretend I was listening to the very nice volunteers explaining to me where to sign my life away, where to put my stickers and I tried not to think of the bracelet as a handcuff. 

Once I was checked in I headed to the swag tent.

because....swag. 

We wandered around a bit and then headed home. 

Once we were home I started panicking again. 

It was 4pm, I still needed to pack, swim, seat, and go shopping

Luckily Scott saw the panic in my eyes, took my shopping list and went to grab my extra supplies and grab dinner while I got my last swim in

We packed my bags, unpacked them, repacked them and then I made myself leave the Tri-room and attempt to relax (aka: eat a bean burrito laced with xanax)

Before I knew it, it was Saturday morning... how in the almighty fuck did that happen?

why is time NOT slowing down

I am not ready 

I didn't train hard enough

I could have pushed myself harder

I could have... I should have... 

Then I told myself to cram it

I checked my bike and bags in, talked with friends and went home to eat my way through the pita jungle menu and put my feet up. 

I woke up at 3:30 Sunday morning, oddly calm. 

I had laid everything out 

(or so I thought....foreshadowing)

so I just needed to make my breakfast, coffee and get into the truck for the ride down

We beat the traffic down and my anxiety went down even more

before I knew it I was lining up with 3000 of my closest friends

I placed myself with the 1:20 group and waited not so patiently for the gun to go off

I knew once I was in the water and moving the anxiety would go away and I could do the job I had come out to do

The male pro's went off, followed by the womens then they started letting us age groupers in the water

It was a rolling swim start so once you are the water your chip starts timing

This was my first non- age group all female wave swim

let me tell you something... 

men swim like drowning bears

they throw fists, they climb over you, push you and they pissed me the hell off

I think I swam faster just because I had to keep kicking them off my feet

I came out of the water at 1:24 

this was right in my goal time so I was pretty damn happy

Scott was a volunteer and managed to make it to the wetsuit stripping and he helped me out of my 

suit and ran off to grab my bags

Once I had my bags I ran into T1 to another smiling face Mrs. Amy

I warned her about what she was about to see and started stripping

I did FULL costume changes in each transition so I could be as comfortable as possible through out the day.

I wanted padded bike shorts for my ride, my comfy running shorts and a clean dry shirt for my run

once I was out of T1, I grabbed my bike from Scott and ran out

Once I was on my bike it started to settle in that I needed to bike 112 miles, 3 loops on the beeline. 

I had not managed to make it past 80 miles in my training so this was going to be my longest ride ever. 

(Apparently I dipped into the Beardedginja/Tdds training program)

Loop 1 felt great, I made it to the turn around in 1:23 and I had very little knee pain. 

The weather couldn't have been better, 70's and overcast

I headed back down to Rio cruising at 24 mph and finished the first loop in 2:20

As I started back up the hill for the 2nd loop I started to feel the dreaded knee pain that had knocked me down flat the last 2 weeks of training. 

I prayed to whatever gods had gotten my liver through college and downed more Ibuprofen 

I trudged up the GD hill to shea for the 2nd time but this time I had to stop to stretch my quad, my back, and I made it to special needs (another cameo from team TDDS)

They helped me unpack mybags and they held my bike so I could sit on the ground and stretch some more. 

I am pretty sure I got off my bike more that any other person on that course

thats how it felt anyways. 

I had actually stayed on top of my water intake and I was polishing off 4 bottles per loop

which is great news for my liver and kidneys

not so great for the 87 bathroom breaks I had to take

I also forgot my first set of base salt and nuun so I had to wait until I made it to special needs for my extras, then at some point those fell out of my jersey. 

So water it is!

I tried a gatorade and it was awful, way too much sugar for me. 

I also at one point thought I had left my uncrustables (which I had already left at home but luckily Mark ran to the store on his way in for me) in T1... Scott and Mark pointed out that they were in fact just in the back pockets of my jersey. 

DOH!

I had gone 2 laps on just two burgers and as many lara bar bites as I could shove in my mouth

I felt better on loop 3 than I did on 2

I made it up to shea in decent time

Scott and Mark were there waiting for me so I got off  my bike for a few minutes

re-lubed... found a chafed spot courtesy of the lube

tried not to cry

went to put some vaseline on my wind burned lips and thankfully Scott reminded me to switch hands

Do not lube and put chapstick on with the same hand

Also don't put biofreeze on first then use the same hand to re-lune

just trust me on that one. 

Downhill on loop 3 was rough, I was going into the wind, I was tired and I wanted to un-wedge the bike seat from my ass. 

I only managed 18mph on the downhills and maybe 12mph on the flats 

Finally I came into T2

its pretty awesome to come in with your family and friends screaming for you

Scott was at t2 and grabbed my bags for me and I went back into the land of naked stinky women

one more costume change, some water and I was out on the run course

now I had not really thought too much about the run during my training

I was much more concerned with my ability to ride 112 miles in my allotted time

as I stepped out of the tent it hit me that I still had to run 26.2 miles

As I started loop 1 I passed Sasha headed out on loop 2

by the 2nd aid station I had to pee AGAIN

damn you tiny bladder 

luckily Stacey was there to get a picture! 

but guess what? I didn't poop my pants

#winning

loop 1 was pretty uneventful

I was running more than I had anticipated and Scott joined me for a good portion of the run to keep me company

as I came into mile 13 I hit a wall

A hard, immovable my feet hurt, I am tired, is this over yet... wall

Scott kept walking with me, he told me I had to keep a sub 18 min mile to finish in time

that kind of pissed me off 

I am not an 18 min mile person

I am not a fast runner but I am not a walker

I am stubborn and I am not going to take that route just because it would be easier on me

I grabbed my bean burrito at special needs

I let my dark thoughts fester for 2 miles

As I came back under the bridge Scott, Mark, and Jen walked with me for a bit

I had a scowl on my face and I was hurting

I decided then that it was going to hurt either way. 

I started running

my knee was screaming

I gritted my teeth and kept going

I ran  20 of the concrete slabs in the side walk then walked 5

all of a sudden I was running a 12 min mile and cruising towards Mill ave

the look on Scotts face as I came under the bridge told me I was making good time

I got a Holy Shit woman, you are doing 12 min miles from Amy

I had a smile back on my face

I may be slow

I may need to walk

but I am stubborn as fuck. I would give a mule a run for its money

I made my way up curry where I ran into Scott, mark and Jen again

Scott told me to slow down so I didn't hurt myself

I smiled to myself and told him its a good day to die 

 

I had to walk some more as I approached mile 25 

mile 26 I got a big ass grin on my face

This has to be what it feels like to be a pro athlete

people on either side of the chute screaming your name, high fiving you, crying for you

then you hear it... 

Mike Reilly the voice of Ironman says

LAUREN ELLIS YOU ARE AN IRONMAN!

fist pump

fist pump 

run to Scott who some how has womens race winner taking our picture as he places the medal aroundmy neck and gives me a big kiss and hug. 

I am an Ironman

the finish line is a blur

there were lots of pictures

We even got a picture with Meredith Kessler !

a volunteer grabbed me by the shoulders (they don't trust you to walk on your own) took my timing chip, handed me my hat and shirt and directed me to the pizza tent

16+ hrs all to have people bring me pizza and take my shoes off for me

I am beyond proud of myself 

it took a lot to get me to this point

Thank you to Scott who was my husband, sherpa, best friend, shoulder to cry on, xanax feeder, chef, housekeeper, landscaper, and the best volunteer out there

thank you to team TDDS. You all made me smile and laugh every day. You made training so much better. 

Thank you to my Coach Frank Sole, you believed in me and pushed me and I will forever be thankful. (lets talk more about that sub 6:30-70.3 this time next year)

thank you to all the volunteers especially, Amy, Julie, Steve, Christy, Stacey, Zachary, Scott, Mark, Mandy

Our Cheering squad, Gotta Run, My parents, Anthony, Theresa, My In-laws (parents, and brothers), TDDS, Heather (even with your evil music), my nieces and nephews, Sarah, all the random strangers 

thank you Ironman for putting on great race

maybe some more TP and the late night aid stations

although yelling from a porta potty to volunteers while my pants are down and my quads are frozen so I can't move any where is pretty funny

( now... not funny then)

Thank you to the lady who made sure she was far enough in front of me before she stood up and peed on her bike

Thank you to the athletes who took the time to say hi, ask my name, and ask how I am doing

Just thank you.

I am sorry if I forgot anyone

I really couldn't do it without any of you

I am sticking to my word and I am taking a year off from racing

I need to focus on being a better Lauren, a wife, a friend, dog mom, and horsewoman. 

  maybe that barrel racing horse is in my future... ha! 

I may not have pooped my pants but there is a chance Scott just did 

Race Day Lists

This is the biggest race of my life

(to date)

I have struggled to get to this point

I have run countless miles

Biked all over this damn city

Swam enough laps to make this self-proclaimed fish want to stay on land

It’s almost here

I want to vomit

Just puke up all my nerves and anxiety

I am starting to make packing lists

(1. Bike)

Grocery lists

(1. No Kale)

To do lists

(1. stop panicking)

Not to do lists

(1. poop my pants, see grocery list above)

My lists have lists

Lists are crucial

When we were driving through the bike course at Vineman, we passed a guy yelling at random cars for bike cleats

He was riding a very nice Tri bike, in a very nice jersey with Vans on

I don’t want to be that guy

Please don’t let me be that guy

Although I would rather be that person vs the pooping their pants person

Maybe my  lists need a redo…

Maybe they need to be simplified

And not in excel format… scheduled down to the minute.

New, Simple, Ironman, no pooping pants list:

Grocery shopping:

Anything that doesn’t include marinara

All I need is wicked heartburn for 140 miles

Packing list:

Bike

Cleats

Lube

Clothes

Goggles

Wetsuit

Lube

Running shoes

Bib

Anything else is just gravy.

To Do:

Relax, take a Xanax

Maybe a beer

Eat

Drink your water

Get some sleep

Don’t do:

Panic

Watch the weather channel religiously

Pop a Xanax into your beer

Stare at the ceiling fan when you should be sleeping and imagine all the horrific ways this could end

Vomit

Cry

Cry while vomiting

Poop your pants

Any combination of the above



Taper Ramblings

We are slowly starting to wind our way down to IMAz 

I opened my phone on Monday to a message from Ironman that said "Welcome to Taper Week AZ Athletes!"

Yeah? Really Ironman? 

It's not enough that you send me Athlete guides or Bib Lists

Now I need be smacked in the face with the fact that my sand is very quickly running out?

Well. Fine. 

I guess those emails ARE helpful

but they also give me panic attacks. 

It doesn't feel like taper week is here

Its Wednesday and I have already swam 7300m

I mean, Fuck. 

AmIright?

I swam so much today that I stopped at the Wendys in my gym parking lot to wreck the shit out of some chicken nuggets

That is not some very well thought out adulting

I am a grown up 

You think I would throw a granola bar or something in my swim bag 

nope

Chicken nuggets

Spicy chicken nuggets 

because while I may not be adult enough to remember a snack

I am adult enough to eat childrens food that will no doubt give me heartburn when I go to bed at 8pm

Its a delicate balance 

I am so ready for training to be done with but I am not ready for race day to be here

Sometimes I think about it and I calmly mentally walk myself through what I think the day will be like from check in to crossing that finish line

Other times I think about the day and I consider turning to Scott and just screaming

Just screaming

maybe some shaking

probably some crying

maybe some chili dogs

who knows where that day dream ends up

I can see myself towing that start line

I can imagine making the turn on my bike

I think about running in the dark 

then I panic

Then I talk to Scott and calm down

then I panic again

I am pretty sure that this will be the routine for the next few weeks

But lets not forget that after I finish, I don't work on Monday. 

I work Tuesday and Wednesday

Then... 

thanksgiving

and I... 

am 

going 

to 

wreck

some

shit

IMAZ 70.3 Race Report

Ironman 70.3 numero tres is in the books

I even managed to squeak out a PR

I came out of the water at 40:18

5 min in transition

Off the bike in 3:39

Another 5 min in transition

And 3:12 on the run

Totaling up to 7:38

This is a 15 min PR on this course and a 2 min PR from Oceanside

This is not my “A” race for the year so I am happy with the outcome especially because I didn’t push it on either the bike or the run.

The morning started out like any other race morning

The alarm went off way to early (3:45)

I grabbed some food, made the coffee and settled into the truck for the drive down to Tempe

Once we were down there I started setting up my transition

I usually handle this like a child, I pull all my crap out of my bags, make a huge mess and sit on the ground as I organize it.

This is also part of the reason I like to be there early, I can make a mess and clean it up before it gets too packed.

By 6 am I was body marked, set up, and out of transition

Because I was in a later heat that meant I still had 2 hours to hang out

2 hours to think about the day

2 hours to contemplate the meaning of life

2 hours to lube up and get into my wetsuit

Justin was out of the water and on the bike before I even stuck a toe in

I wasn’t a huge fan of starting this late, it meant I was going to be in the heat longer and I was going to have to fight through the other waves of people

Once I was in the water I found my way to the front

My coach had given me the ok to push as hard as I could in the swim and I wanted a front row spot

The gun went off and the washing machine started

Women thrashing, kicking, and swinging their way into a freestyle rhythm

I took a pretty good hit to the face when I caught someone’s elbow, luckily they hit my goggles and didn’t break my nose.

This swim felt looooonnnnng

For IMAZ 70.3 it’s an out and back swim in the shape of a rectangle and you swim counter clockwise

They have yellow buoys so you know where to go and at the red buoys you turn.

On the way out I tried to stay as close to the buoys as possible, so close that I accidently ran into 2 or 3 of them

Eventually I started thinking ok, time to look for the red buoy. It has to be coming up

Yellow Buoy

Yellow

Yellow

Where is the goddam red

Yellow

Yellow

Seriously how long is this course?

Yellow

Ok, I give up. Time to take off my goggles and see where this stupid buoy is

Oh.

It’s 12 inches in front of my face.

TURRRRNNN!

I checked my watch at the 2^nd turn (halfway point) and I was under 20 min

My goal was 40 or under so I put on the rocket boosters and did what I could to stay at the front

I started passing swim caps that left before me and before I knew it I was coming under the bridge and making the final turn.

40:18, 2 min PR on the swim!

I let a stranger rip off my wetsuit and I headed into T2

I was a little winded when I came in so I took my time getting my shoes on, eating a PBJ sandwich, lathering what I thought was plenty of sunblock on (It wasn’t) and sticking my hand down my pants for the essential lubing of the chassis

My plan for the bike was consistency, I wasn’t going to push and I wasn’t going to tear up my legs.

I managed to stay in the 19 min range for each 5 mile segment

I was having some technical issues with my bike and the clicking sound was getting worse and worse as I went

I prayed that it would get me through the race and made a silent promise to get it to the bike tech this week

The IMAZ bike course is a convoluted mess of turn after turn with a few hills and one hair pin turn that will pucker you right up.

On my 3^rd loop up to the hair pin turn I didn’t even try to make the turn.

I was tired, it was hot and the small amount of grace and coordination I do have was long gone.

I unclipped (which worried the volunteer) and walked my happy ass around that turn.

I let them know I was fine, just uncoordinated and headed back into T2.

I was so happy to get off the bike

Anytime I get to unwedge my ass off a bike seat I could cry with joy

I made it in at 3:39 this is pretty close to my previous bike time on this I same course but I used a lot less energy this time around.

I averaged just over 15mph, which for me is huge to keep that pace consistently

I walked into T2, went through my costume change (no shame in Ironman), re-lubbed, added more sunblock, grabbed my hat and headed out on the “run”

I decided after about 5 steps that I was not going to run this race.

I knew that even with a few days off I still had to jump right back into full training and I wasn’t eager to trash my legs.

I decided I could keep a 14:30 pace if I walked quickly and set my eye on that goal.

The 1^st loop of the run was uneventful, a little lonely and I perked up big time when I saw my family

I asked Scott to walk with me for a while just to take my mind off the heat and walking

This is such a huge lifesaver for me, I am not big on talking to strangers and even an introvert like me could use some company after 5+ hours of alone time.

I started to chafe a little bit on my under arm and I thought about asking the athletes around me if anyone had lube.

Then I thought that might be a weird way for me to start a conversation with a random group of strangers

“excuse me, does anyone have lube?”

“No, don’t look at me like that! It’s for my arm chafing”

“ yes that really is a thing”

“Yes. Arm Chafing”

“Never mind”

I think the world of triathlon is one of the only places you can ask someone for a stick of lube and they don’t even bat an eye.

I knew I had an aid station coming up and I knew I had a friend at that aid station

So as I came across the bridge I asked Amy to see if they had Vaseline at her station.

They did!

As I came around the corner she held up her stick of lube and asked if I needed anything else.

The only appropriate response was some friendly sexual harassment

(I will spare you the details)

My mom and Sarah joined me for a few minutes, my dad stopped in, I high fived TDDS, and kept on trucking

As I started the 2^nd loop Scott caught up to me again (He ran almost as much as I did)

He talked me through my aches and pains and said those magical words every triathlete longs to hear

“You have a chance to PR this”

Swoon, right?

No?

Ok.

Well those were exciting words for ME to hear

I still was intent on not running but I knew even if I kept my current pace I could PR

The last loop started to wear on me, the heat was intense, I could feel my sun burn, and there is very little shade on the course.

I was ready to be done and sitting in the AC

Before I knew it I was less than a mile out

Scott and my parents were there and kept me going

Scott let me know I had 6 min min to get to the finish line for a PR

I started running

Then I promptly thought “well, Fuck this” and went back to walking

Scott told me again, 4 min to PR

Crap. I am going to be so pissed at myself if I miss my chance at a PR because I was walking

So I ran or hobbled if you will

Ironman is a group of twisted souls so of course there is a hill right before the finishers chute.

I made it up the hill and my pain disappeared.

I high fived Amy, heard the announcer call my name and ran across the finish line

I was surrounded by awesomness, Julie was there to give me my medal, Scott and my family were waiting at the end of the chute for stinky hugs, and I was finally done.

70.3 miles in the books

I came out with some soreness, a wicked sunburn, some chafing, a blister the size of Texas, and a smile on my face

We grabbed some In N’ Out on the way home and I crashed

Well. First I had a mild panic attack about the full 140.6 then I crashed.

My big race is just around the corner.

I know I will get through it but I am scared.

Scared and panicked and scared

Thank you for everyone who came out to watch and cheer, all the volunteers, all the well wishers near and far

You were all with me on that race course and I couldn’t do it without the support.

Next up Ironman AZ 140.6

Don’t vomit

Don’t poop your pants

Don’t die

Cross the finish line before 17 hrs

Eat all the things

Sometimes you say fuck.

Let me start with Hi.

It's been a while.

I have been flirting with the idea of coming back to writing for a few weeks now

I would feel something brewing

(not a poop)

then I would lose the little thought bubble that had been floating over my head

then it would come back

then I would lose it 

Thought bubbles are fickle little bastards

I am 6 weeks out from my first full Ironman

Ironman Arizona 

FUCK. 

thats it. 

Just fuck. 

Fuck is what is hanging in my thought bubble 

well... that and 

nope lost it again 

Just Fuck

I still have no filter and this is still not a blog for those who are offended by crude language. 

***Caution***

The F words comes up a lot

and I also talk about lube more than the average person

also I wear a fanny pack when I run and I understand if you cannot support that.  

Training for a full 140.6 is completely different than training for the half

Not that I think 70.3's are easy or that they don't deserve respect. They do. 

But sometimes when I am in hour 5 of my bike ride and my ass hurts and a lot of other parts hurt I think about how adorable it was when I thought 70.3 training was the hardest thing I would ever do.

You hit a point in training where every ride/run/swim you do is going to be your longest ride/run/swim ever. 

ever, ever, fucking ever. 

Last week I biked 70 miles, the week before that 62 miles, this week I am shooting for 90 miles.

You buy lube in bulk

(not the fun kind)

You discuss the pros/cons of said lube with complete strangers

(I hope this is something that only triathletes do)

you eat a lot. 

Your day revolves around eating and training... and sleeping 

People ask me how training is going and my answer is the same every time.

I am tired, I am hungry, and I am sore

your house is in shambles

Need to know what gift to give that special triathlete in your life?

A maid, a cook, and a lawn service. 

My grass is dead and I am not sure if that ball of hair in the corner is a dust bunny or we took in another foster dog.

You know what? Just buy them astro turf. 

It's not like they are going to stop this dumb shit anytime soon.

I am lucky that I have a sherpa who makes sure I have clean underwear, fresh sports bras, and who tucks me into bed at 6pm on Friday/Saturday nights

But you also realize that your body is capable of some pretty cool shit

and I don't just mean your bladders ability to recognize when there is a clean bathroom (permanent) in a 1 mile radius. 

Those miles you didn't think you could ever run? You run them

That course you never thought you could finish? You crush it

That swim with big waves and dark skies? You push though it

That ride when you forget to lube and cry during your shower when fresh water hits fresh chafed skin? You never forget lube again

That ride with 3 flat tires in 12 miles? You learn to change a tire with your eyes closed. 

You also learn to pray that the bike tech is nearby if this same shit situation happens on race day. 

You learn and you adjust 

Sometimes you adjust your medications and that helps too.

sometimes you cry

sometimes you freak out in the middle of a swim and cry in your googles because your mind is telling you that mid swim is the perfect time for a meltdown and there is no way you can possibly cross that finish line. 

So you call your husband and he talks you off the clif and takes you out for dinner. 

You get up and you keep going. 

Sometimes you eat a double double animal style and polish off a vanilla shake while promptly telling your mind to go fuck itself. 

Sometimes you lose your eloquence and say fuck. 

Sometimes you say it a lot. 

22 Weeks and Counting

Fear is real and it is scary

For someone with anxiety, fear is common

worry is a constant state of mind

I am scared

Scared. Shitless.

Shit.Less.

One without shit

Lacking in fecal matter

The complete and utter absence of shit.

More scared than I have even been in my life for a race

140.6 miles

Are you fucking kidding me?

What in the actual fuck was I thinking?

(I may hit an all time high for use of the word fuck and or shit in this post) 

(leave the easily offended at the door)

Fuck. 

Fuck. 

Fuck.

Fuckity Fucking Fuck. 

*sigh*

ok. 

(there is an actual point to this long and winding example of the multiple uses of the word fuck)

22 weeks until Ironman Arizona

2 weeks until official training starts

3 minutes until I ask Scott another question about training

4 minutes until I ask Scott another question about bike maintenance or rehab or the course or any other topic my brain can dissect and worry over. 

I have a lot of reasons for loving my husband 

lots. 

His prior experience on the IMAZ course and general triathlon knowledge is near the top of the list right now. 

His endless patience (even when I test it on a almost daily basis) with my never ending line of questions is another reason. 

So what is there to worry about?

I've raced in Tempe before

I have completed two 70.3 races in the last 9 months

I have a training plan

I have run 26.2 miles before 

I have swam 2 miles before 

I have never ever fucking ever biked 112 miles

(nor have I ever wanted to)

Lots of things to worry about. 

I actually started writing them out 

and then I deleted them

and then I worried over deleting them 

and I thought why is the hell am I writing down what I am scared of?

What good does that do?

instead I am going to re-read the sentences above. 

I can do this.

if I train, work hard, and trust myself and my training then I can do this. 

It will take everything I have. 

I will need support from every corner of my life

I will cry

I will scream

I will curse the triathlon gods 

I will forget body glide and chafe in places that don't see the light of day

I will push my body to new levels

I will spend more time in spandex than out of it

my weekends will consist of long training days

I will fall asleep in random places 

I will laugh and enjoy the hell out of myself

I will appreciate the cool ass shit my body is capable of

I WILL be an IRONMAN

See ya in November Tempe, I'm coming for ya. 

Ironman California 70.3

Almost a year ago I decided I was going to find a 2nd 70.3 race

It was going to be a way to break up the training between Arizona 70.3 and Arizona 140.6

Smart choice right?

Strategically placed around 6 months between my two races

It was a way to keep my training up and stay motivated

I researched 70.3 races in the spring time with in driving distance of Phoenix

Oceanside fit the bill 

plus... fruity drinks by the ocean

This was all decided before I had finished AZ 70.3

I was still blissfully unaware of what it takes to race for 8 hours 

One of the first things I told Scott when I crossed the AZ finish line was 

"Fuck this, I don't think I can do that twice"

He laughed it off and told me I could 

I was in so much pain, so tired, and so hungry I was not happy that I had to do it all again in 6 months

but then a few days passed, my soreness worked its way out, I ate a pizza, drank some beer and decided yep, I should sign up for 3 more of these

and that is the exact moment I lost my damn mind. 

Saturday morning I woke up at 3:45am 

I found the appropriate meme for facebook

showered

grabbed my gear bag

and loaded into the car with some of my fellow members of #TDDS

or as we are better known "Team Do Dumb Shit" 

Why do we have such an awesome name? what is the meaning behind it?

Well. 

It's because we do dumb shit.

for fun

and we usually pay and hefty race fee for it

So we loaded up, made our way to transition and started to organize our gear. 

I set up my gear, checked it, rechecked it, and checked it again

then moved it

because I had put it under the wrong tire

whoops. 

I left transition to go put on my wetsuit and get some moral support from my husband 

If you think that watching a corral full of 2500 athlete lube their nether regions is sexy just wait until you watch people slide into a wetsuit

its not easy

its not pretty

and in my case it requires Scott sticking his hand into my wetsuit and yanking

yes, yanking is the appropriate word

my husband has to yank a rubber suit onto his wifes body

sexy doesn't even begin to describe it

then once it is on and everything has settled I get to rub body glide on the outside of my suit 

(so it comes off easier)

seriously the fun just keeps coming

Once my wetsuit was on 

(a good 15 minute process)

I realized I had to pee

I also had an itch

and I had forgotten to lube up 

I decided to hold out and wait until I got in the water to pee

the lube would have to wait until I was out of the water

We started lining up, I kissed Scott, hugged heather and Jolynn and jumped in line

I wasn't as nervous as I thought I would be as I got into line

it was a process I was familiar with and that soothed me

eventually my wave made it to the front and we jumped in, swam about 50 yards and waited for the gun to go off. 

This was my first ocean swim and I was a little nervous that my wetsuit made me look like the seal shaped toy that gets thrown off the back in the boat during shark week 

not a sleek seal either, a slow moving elephant seal. 

perfect for a hungry shark

As I got to the start line I tried to put these thoughts to rest and focus on the fact that I was finally able to pee

(don't worry everyone else was too)

but as I started to pee I remembered one thing

The ankle part of my suit is very tight and the neck is not

also my back was starting to get very warm

sonofabitch

its coming out my neck hole

so here I am a confident and experienced swimmer 

flailing around like a goddamn idiot as my own urine comes out the top of my wetsuit. 

*sigh*

during my flailing the gun goes off

 now I am in a whirlpool of thrashing swimmers who think the fastest way to swim is with donkey like side kicks and closed fists.

and I am still trying to get the pee to go down my leg

I started foward, found a rythym and started to do the job I came out to do.  

Head down, high elbow, find the catch and keep moving foward

Sighting was harder than I expected and once we made the turn we were facing the sun so you couldn't see the bouys, the swells  also picked up so if you were in the bottom of a swell you could not see shit

not the bouys, not the other swimmers, not the shark poised for an attack. 

Nothing

I had some moments of panic but I kept after it and I came out of the water in 42 minutes

not a terrible time but not the time I was hoping for either

I was able to give Scott a high five as I came down the shoot

(the longest shoot ever btw)

I lubed up

Scott made sure to get footage on the GoPro

I grabbed my bike my food and ran out of transition

The bike portion is what I was most worried about

yes I had trained

yes I had done hills

but I had never done these hills. 

its a beautiful course

It follows the Ocean for a large portion of it, you go through the rolling hills of Camp Pendelton, you get to see the Naval Hospital, the Military Planes, helicopters, all around you there is target practice going on, there are marines at every corner cheering you on, and there are 3 big MFing hills. 

The 1st hill is at mile 31

at mile 30 you turn a corner and that big mother fucker comes into view

I was with a group of 10 or so cyclists at that point and I heard a few colorful descriptions of the big beast that lay ahead of us. 

We all put our heads down, switched to the small ring and started making our way up it. 

One lady told me that she heard the only way to make it up the hill was to start using the word Fuck like a comma. 

I agreed. 

I made it about 3/4's of the way up it and promptly decided, fuck this shit. 

I got off my bike and walked my happy ass the rest of the way. 

When I got to the top I was disappointed in myself. 

I got back on and decided that whatever was ahead I was not getting off that bike until I was back in transition. 

I made a few friends out there, screamed on the down hills, almost shit myself on the turns, and finally made it to the turn. 

The turn meant we were done with hills and it was time to head downhill

the turn also meant you were facing an ugly head wind. 

3 hours and 50 minutes after I left transition I made my way back. 

Once again Scott was there to give me a high five over the gate

I changed my shoes, grabbed some more food and made my way onto the run course

The run course is 1.5 loops down the beach and around the amazing beach homes.

I ran, I walked, I was able to see my friends.

Scott walked with me for a large portion of it as did my dad. 

I was desperate for company at that point and any chance to get my mind off running.

As I started in on my second loop I realized I had a chance to PR

If I kept pushing and held my pace I could take off 10-15 minutes

That was all the motivation I needed

As I made the last turn I had just over 2 miles to go and 35 minutes do it in for a PR

I grabbed some redbull and got to work

I was able to hold a 10:30 pace for the last 2 miles

As I approached the finish line I started running along side a guy about my age

He started talking to me and asking questions about what races I had done, if this was my first 70.3, etc. 

We started talking and he explained that he had actually registered and trained for Oceanside 7 years before but right before the race he found out he had a brain tumor and had to have emergency surgery. Surgery he was not sure he would wake up from, after surgery he was not allowed to work out. Doctors were afraid that to much pressure on his heart or brain would lead to a seizure and possible death. Seven years later he was given the ok and this was his comeback race. I was in tears listening to this guy, here I was thinking about my knee pain and this badass next to me who didn't know if he was going to live the last 7 years was pushing his body down towards the finish line. He told me that he was probably going to cry, I told him its ok everyone does. 

The people that you meet at an Ironman event are amazing. 

I only spoke with him for a few minutes and I didn't get his name but he inspired me. 

I pushed my way to that finish line and came in 13 minutes faster than I did at Arizona

I grinned at my family, grabbed my hat and medal and ran out to give them all the sweatiest of sweaty hugs. 

I am again humbled by the Ironman gods. 

I am motivated

I am scared

I am proud

I took 3 minutes off my swim, I added 10 minutes to my bike ride, and I took 30 minutes off my run.

 I will see you in 9 Months Ironman. 

Get ready because I am coming for ya. 

Big thanks to everyone who came out, my husband who supports me and is there for me even when times are hard, my family, my fellow members of #TDDS, my training partners, my sisters, my tribe of misfits, strangers with vaseline, the volunteers, the volunteers who let me use their sunblock, my coaches and my friends. 

I can't express what your support and smiling faces mean to me out on the course. 

I love you all 

and last... but not least 

For Mark