Discipline

Discipline has never really been my thing

Donuts have been my thing

Pizza has been my thing

Eating Chinese food and watching blazing saddles has been my thing

But discipline…

Nah, I’m good thanks.

I wait for motivation to strike and then I bleed that well dry

Example: training for 3 half iron and 1 full iron distance races in 12 months.

As I entered my (Scotts) credit card info I basked in my motivation

I sat high upon my motivation mountain and looked down

I was motivation, I breathed motivation, I became one with motivation

Right up until I wasn’t

The well was dry

I was chugging my bike up another goddamn hill thinking how I could be eating donuts and not chewing on another peanut butter and jelly sandwich and boom motivation was gone.

The fickle creature left me right in the middle of my training.

Poof.

Gone.

See Ya Later

My motivation had gone to the pizza parlor to kick back with a beer

I was still on the hill

It was discipline that kept me from throwing my bike in front of traffic and following my motivation to get pizza

There has to be a balance

As soon as I crossed that finish line I lost a large chunk of both

I put my bike in hibernation, nursed my sore and chafed body parts, and went after some beer and pizza.

Its 6 months later

My bike and I are still not talking

Nether regions have not forgiven me

I have enjoyed the hell out of not training

I do miss competition but I am sticking to my year off

The problem with a year off is finding the discipline and motivation to treat my body like it deserves

 My goal is happy and healthy

Not a finish line

Not a specific weight

Not a certain pair of jeans

Happy

Healthy

So I have had to find discipline

Motivation is easier

Motivation is my husband, my family, our trip to New Zealand

Discipline is looking over a pile of donuts as I eat my eggs

Are donuts the devil?

No

Do I have to eat only Kale and water to hit my goals?

Nope.

In fact if I did that I would be miserable

Miserable is very far from happy and healthy

 

So what is the point of my random ramblings?

Motivation will not always be there

Discipline will not always be there

Keep moving forward regardless

If you don’t have motivation to go to the gym that day then go because you are a disciplined athlete

No discipline to put down the donuts? Then use your motivation to back away and eat something that makes you feel good.

We have to find balance

None of us are perfect

Least of all me

 

Find the balance

Find the motivation

Find the discipline

Find Happiness.

Baked Goods.

So I started a new job last week, I was offered a great opportunity and I jumped at it. I still miss my coworkers but I know that I have made the right decision for my family and I. Starting a new job can be a little stressful. Well actually it can be a lot stressful. Stress shot through the roof about a month ago as I A: waited not so patiently to hear back from company B. 

B: put in my two weeks at company A.

C: started to learn a new and terrifyingly awesome new job. 

I have been at company B for just over a week now and when I left company A I really thought 

"wow, this should help me lose a few extra lbs, no more pot lucks or daily catered lunches!" 

well, there haven't been any poftlucks, or daily catered lunches. 

here is the run down of positives and negatives as they relate to the fat kid. 

(because, lets be honest. He is the one running this joint)

Positives:

Stairs. 

Yep, lots of stairs. The office that I share with my coworkers is up a flight of stairs. So any time I have to go pee (which is a lot), I go down and back up the stairs. If I want to grab something to eat or drink, I have go down and back up the stairs. If I want some fresh air, I have to go down and back up the GD stairs. 

The upside to this is I am far away from the kitchen. Bad part is I drink A LOT of water and the pee pee dance is really awkward to do while running down a steep flight of stairs. 

I also think of this image every time I get to the bottom of those bastards, look up and think

 "I should run this"

I am really busy. 

Not that I wasn't busy at my old job but jesus, there is a lot of food that goes on planes! 

I am also starting at step 1 so in the time it would take me to run down stairs, steal a donut and get back I would have missed 87 new things that I need to know. 

Theresa.

My boss is pretty cool (and I am not just saying that because she reads this), I have known her since I was born and she knows the complexities of the fat kid. She reigns me in and tell me no and smacks me on the nose with a newspaper when I get that gleam in my eye that says DONUT! 

(she doesn't really hit me, calm down!)

Proximity to Fast Food. 

There is nothing around. Nothing, Nada. I have to make my lunch and snacks every day or I don't eat

Also nothing is open on my way into work (5am) so I have to make my breakfast before I leave. 

Negatives:

Baked Goods

Every Friday the magic baked good fairy drops off a bucket load of every breakfast baked good you can imagine. Last week alone we had fresh chompies bagels, donuts, blueberry scones, orange cranberry scones, chocolate croissants,  fresh baked bread, and english muffins. 

I am not that strong. 

Catered Lunches. 

Our weekly meeting is catered. Last week was Oreganos, this week is BBQ Company.

Need I say more?

Menus. 

Most of my day is spent looking at menus. All sorts of food and snacks... I stared at the word risotto so much last week that I started to have a Pavlovian response to the word. 

This weeks craving is Shrimp. 

Did I mention the baked goods?

So the fat kid is faced with a new struggle but this keeps it new and interesting as I face off with him over cream cheese.  Lots of carrots, lots of chicken, lots of veggies, lots of water, lots of kale, lots of trips to the bathroom (because of the water, not the kale. Gross.)