Halfway

Well. 

I have survived the first half of training, only 5 weeks to go. 

5 weeks to take another considerable chunk of time off my miles

I have made significant strides with my speed but I have to now add in consistency

AND take away some of the standing on a random road trying to suck air into my lungs while convincing my legs to keep going and simultaneously yelling numerous amounts of curse words put together in creative fun lengthy strings. 

Yes. 

Less of that. 

I am starting to get into the longer miles and every weekend is based on when and how I can get my run in

Waking up at 5  (ON A WEEKEND!) 

eating oatmeal

wearing fanny packs

having friends drive out to bring you lube on a Sunday morning

LUBE DELIVERY ON A SUNDAY

Yeah. That happened

Chill out it was for my arms

Oh, whats that you say? 

Why would one put lube on their arms?

that's not the fun way to use it?

Well... 

That's, like,  your opinion man. 

Also some of us don't quite think out the fact that their super cool back pack that carries treats (yes I call them treats) and water might create enough friction under their arms to start a fire (or draw blood)

Training is FUN!

also... time to switch back to the fanny pack

But progress is happening

improvement is happening 

Those are W's in my world

Is there a chance that I won't hit the sub 2?

Yes 

It's so hard to balance this brain of mine

Inner Athlete is screaming " There is no failure! We DO NOT accept defeat. Sub 2 or die trying" 

Inner rational Lauren says "give it everything you have, but don't let this consume you"

Inner Fat Kid wants to know if we get pizza afterwards and by afterwards he means do we really have to run at all and can't we just eat the pizza? 

Its a 3 way tug of war. 

Right now I am leaning towards " If you can walk when you finish you didn't push hard enough but if you don't hit your goal then try again and a large Sausage double cheese."

Training continues

The inner battle continues

I continue. 

LUBE DELIVERY! 

Ya'll I had to put out an SOS to my running friends to bring me lube

And she showed up with multiples kinds

 that cracks me up. 

It just makes me giggle

Ok I will stop

Anyways... 

everyone have a good week and I will try to get better at checking in 

LUBE

SOS

I sent out a lube SOS

Ok I swear that was the last time... 

In the words of Bruce Willis

Hi. 

It's been a while

A long while

My computer gave me a "new number who dis" when I tried to sign in 

 My self imposed year off is over 

I celebrated by signing up for a half marathon

because... duh 

and I am sure you are all wondering why I signed up for another race

But Lauren, you didn't even know if you liked racing anymore

You couldn't remember what it was like to enjoy training

you spent hours and days wondering if you actually liked racing or if you did it because other people in your life enjoy racing. 

You.Took.A.Year.Off. 

and this is what you decide??

A half marathon?

way to ease into it dipshit

Guess what?

Turns out I really do like racing

training.... eh

its alright

but racing.

Fuck... 

its the best. 

Finish lines and cheering crowds

people pushing to be their best

the adrenaline

the sweat

the feeling like your chest is about to explode and  your legs might give out and jesus christ am I hallucinating or is that pepperoni pizza at an aid station

its the best.

and I missed it

at first I didn't think I did

I went to a few races and without fail 17 or more people asked me if I was sad

and I proudly held up my breakfast burrito, looked down at my sandals and said NO!

then a few months later I went to some more races

and I watched people cross the finish line

cross the finish line into a giant puddle of sweaty stinky smiling mess

and I smiled

then I teared up

then I said seriously Lauren? get yo shit together. 

and thats when I realized 

I missed racing

I missed it so much

I wanted to grab a bib from someone, anyone and push my legs to the limit

I wanted to have the black lung from a particularly hard run

I wanted the hunger and the pain

I wanted it all

Its official.

I.LOVE.THIS.SHIT

Love it 

I have this competitiveness that has to be let out 

running gives me that feeling

and it doesn't matter if I am first or last

(but first would be pretty fucking cool)

It matters that I gave it everything I have. 

Will I do another full Ironman?

probably not

Will I do another half Ironman?

Fuck Yes I will

and I will hit sub 7

Will I have moments of failure, moments of wanting to quit, moments of doubt, fat kid off the leash at at buffet moments

Ha... oh yes, so so many moments. 

Will I decided to push for a sub 2 hour half?

You betcha

Will I make other decisions that make people question my sanity?

More than likely. 

but fuck. 

Life is too damn short to give it anything but everything you've got. 

As the wise Bruce Willis once said

Discipline

Discipline has never really been my thing

Donuts have been my thing

Pizza has been my thing

Eating Chinese food and watching blazing saddles has been my thing

But discipline…

Nah, I’m good thanks.

I wait for motivation to strike and then I bleed that well dry

Example: training for 3 half iron and 1 full iron distance races in 12 months.

As I entered my (Scotts) credit card info I basked in my motivation

I sat high upon my motivation mountain and looked down

I was motivation, I breathed motivation, I became one with motivation

Right up until I wasn’t

The well was dry

I was chugging my bike up another goddamn hill thinking how I could be eating donuts and not chewing on another peanut butter and jelly sandwich and boom motivation was gone.

The fickle creature left me right in the middle of my training.

Poof.

Gone.

See Ya Later

My motivation had gone to the pizza parlor to kick back with a beer

I was still on the hill

It was discipline that kept me from throwing my bike in front of traffic and following my motivation to get pizza

There has to be a balance

As soon as I crossed that finish line I lost a large chunk of both

I put my bike in hibernation, nursed my sore and chafed body parts, and went after some beer and pizza.

Its 6 months later

My bike and I are still not talking

Nether regions have not forgiven me

I have enjoyed the hell out of not training

I do miss competition but I am sticking to my year off

The problem with a year off is finding the discipline and motivation to treat my body like it deserves

 My goal is happy and healthy

Not a finish line

Not a specific weight

Not a certain pair of jeans

Happy

Healthy

So I have had to find discipline

Motivation is easier

Motivation is my husband, my family, our trip to New Zealand

Discipline is looking over a pile of donuts as I eat my eggs

Are donuts the devil?

No

Do I have to eat only Kale and water to hit my goals?

Nope.

In fact if I did that I would be miserable

Miserable is very far from happy and healthy

 

So what is the point of my random ramblings?

Motivation will not always be there

Discipline will not always be there

Keep moving forward regardless

If you don’t have motivation to go to the gym that day then go because you are a disciplined athlete

No discipline to put down the donuts? Then use your motivation to back away and eat something that makes you feel good.

We have to find balance

None of us are perfect

Least of all me

 

Find the balance

Find the motivation

Find the discipline

Find Happiness.

Oh Look... a Carrot

I knew it was coming

I could feel it barreling towards me like a freight train unable to stop

I could have done things differently

I knew how to fix it

I just didn’t listen

Now the train has come to rest after it barreled into the mountain causing an avalanche

That avalanche came so fast and so hard it dropped me to my knees

Right down in front of the goddamn refrigerator.

Sigh.

Nutrition is hard

I get that it’s not push a baby out of your lady parts or stop using drugs kind of hard

But C’mooooonnnnn

This food is bad

This food is good

This food is good unless the 7^th moon is in the sacred house of Thor

This has gluten

Gluten is bad

Well kind of. Gluten is bad for some, great for others

Fat is bad.

Fat is good

Caffeine is a terrible addiction that will lead to cravings, starbucks gold cards, and a weird connection with keurigs

Don’t eat carbs, they make you fat

Unless it’s this specific kind of carb that of course how did you not know is perfect for you?

You  need to eat while you run

No. Not pizza, dumbass.

Never eat on a run

Gatorade will change your life

Gatorade will make you shit your pants on a run.

Chipotle… see above.

Everything in moderation

You need 3500 calories today… for breakfast.

Eggs are bad and filled with cholesterol

JK… eggs are great, egg whites are bad

It’s enough to make you want to running screaming into the hills or to the nearest nutritionist

Let’s not even get into the organic/free range/vegan/vegetarian fight.

I like meat. I prefer it to be raised ethically and sustainably. I also prefer to not pay $20/lb for a hamburger because the cow as happy before it DIED.

Oh god. I just made so many people angry. I am sorry… I take it back.

Also veal is delicious.

Dammit…. That last one slipped out.

Anyways… it’s hard.

It’s hard to find what works for you

What your body agrees with

What you agree with

What your family will eat

What they won’t eat

Where you can go to eat when you and your stove have a disagreement

When to eat

How much to eat

Calories

Food is Fuel

My engine is running (literally) damn near all the time

And its running long miles

I need lots of fuel

Good Fuel

None of that unleaded shit

(damn I miss pizza)

Saturday I went for an 11 mile run before breakfast

My goo’s didn’t sit right with me for whatever reason

And when I got home the last thing I wanted to do was eat (I know I was just as confused as you are)

I love to eat

I love to cook

I wanted food

My stomach wanted nothing to do with food

So I waited

And I waited

And then I finally ate, I forced myself to eat 3 meals.

None of them were shockingly healthy but they filled the requirements

Protein, carbs, veggies, fruit

But it still didn’t replace what I had used up

And I had a big bike ride the next morning

So I did my ride…

Low and behold I still wasn’t starving

I went through the same routine

Protein, carbs, veggies, fruit

Still not enough and I knew it

Well then Monday shows up like the reliable bitch it is and guess what?

I am a starving mess of hulk hangry empty bottomless pit-ness

And I am at work where I limit my food

The train has hit

The avalanche has fallen

And now I am just wandering around looking for survivors

Oh look... a carrot

The Battle Rages On...also a cameo by Amy Poehler.

I battled the fat kid all day long. 

Not in the usual sense, I wasn't trying to shove my face full of pizza and donuts at every turn. 

Don't get me wrong.. I was HUNGRY.

I ran hills last night and I could have happily dove face first into whatever was readily available. 

However I made sure to pack my prepped foods so I was able to stay the MF'ing course. 

Today wasn't about telling the fat kid no. 

No, no pizza for me thanks. 

No, Beer isn't really my thing. 

 It was about telling that little asshole to shut the f*$k up. 

Anxiety, fear, and self doubt were the name of the game today. 

That little voice in my head was screaming today. 

I am not fast enough

I am not skinny enough

I am not working hard enough

I will never follow through with anything

I will never finish an Ironman

I just wanted the voice to go away. 

I don't give a shit if I am not fast enough. I am out there pushing my body and working to be faster. 

Fuck. Skinny. 

Yeah I said it. 

I am strong, I am healthy, and I am working on tailoring my birthday suit. 

That stupid number on the stupid scale doesn't define me. 

It doesn't make me less of a person. 

It doesn't tell you who I am. 

I am a strong badass woman. 

Yeah I wear a fanny pack when I run and I own something called Hoo Ha Ride Glide. 

I still Tri 

(see what I did there)

I will finish an Ironman. 

I will finish if I have to drag my legs behind me like a dog. 

Hell or high water

Blood, road rash, exhaustion, knee pain, sunburns, and black toe nails. 

I will finish.

That little voice inside my head just told me that I just jinxed myself and my finish. 

I am going to crush that stupid voice like a bug. 

The battle rages on. 

Its not always physical. 

Sometimes the mental aspect is worse. 

When in doubt, listen to Amy Poehler. 

(Side note, go buy her book. It's amazing. I laughed, cried, and snorted)

But Why?

I'm starting to feel like the toddler who just learned the phrase "but why" and has irritated all family members, teachers, day care workers, and random strangers on the street to death. I have to ask 10 million follow up questions to every statement I hear about what is the best route, the best training, the best shoe, the best food, etc, etc...

Heart Rate Training is the way to go 

But Why?

Carb Loading is the way to go

But Why?

Metabolic Efficiency Training is the way to go 

But why?

This bike seat is the Cadillac of bike seats

But why?

These socks will stop all blisters

How?

These Shoes will save your life

Really?

This foam roller will cure cancer

Is that so?

Kale is a super food that will make you faster than the flash 

If you are referring to how fast it makes you go to the bathroom then I have no follow up questions. 

Like with most things, everyone has an opinion. 

And everyone thinks there opinion is the right one. 

I see no problem with that because I am harassing everyone I know in the tri/running world for their opinion. 

But it can be hard to wade through everything to find something that works for me

Carb loading doesn't work for me

Minimalist shoes don't work for me

But these things could be the almighty savior for others runners/triathletes

So off I go again to scour blogs, articles, and stalk a few athletes to find out what makes them faster, stronger, leaner, and able to eat pizza without gaining weight

I'm sure somebody out there is thinking they are probably faster, stronger, and leaner becuase of the lack of pizza in their life but I disagree.

 I have yet to meet an endurance athlete who does not enjoy pizza and ice cream. 

Go run 20+ miles and try to convince me that a kale smoothie would really hit the spot. 

Runners

There is a moment that every runner experiences at one time or another. This moment for me begin 5 steps into my first sprint of the night, I had already run 3 miles and I was gearing up to finish strong. I'm going to warn you now this is not for the faint of heart, as is par for the course for me. Scott I'm sorry it's been 3 years and the honeymoon may be over after this next sentence.

Let me say again this is the moment that every runner experiences... That moment where you feel a rumbling between your bottom half and your top half but you're not sure which half its gonna come out of. This happens for a number of different reasons maybe you didn't eat right today whether that's what you ate how much you ate or how much you didn't eat, maybe you didn't hydrate properly today or maybe your body's just giving youa big f you because its 110 out and you think running at the track is going to be a "fun" time.

Again let me apologize, I know not everybody who reads what I have to say is expecting to bond with me like this. it's okay this is a safe zone and we're all best friends now  :)

Another fair warning I am my father's daughter and I think poop jokes are funny, yes I am 27 years old and I still laugh at poop jokes if you do not find them funny I don't recommend checking out the next picture but it made me laugh. A lot. Like a lot a lot.