The Struggle is Real

I asked what if there were any topics that any of my readers (hi mom and dad!) wanted me to touch on. 

I was asked if there is anything I struggle with. 

What I struggle with?

Some days I struggle to put pants on and remember what I ate for breakfast 

some days I struggle to lace up my shoes and get my ass out the door

sometimes I struggle to be upbeat and positive

sometimes I struggle to sit still with all the energy (and coffee)

some days I struggle with making the right decision

some days I struggle to not eat everything in my sight

some days I struggle to get in 3000 calories to replace what I used up in training

some days I struggle with my 4am alarm clock

sometimes I struggle with spending so much time training and not with my family

I struggle to stay focused 

I struggle every day. 

But with every step I take, every mile I run, I get stronger. 

Every time I get in the pool or hop on the bike trainer when I really want to eat ice cream in my sweat pants I overcome one more struggle 

Every time I manage to shove the fat kid in a closet for a moment of peace I am winning the struggle

There will be something every day that I struggle with but the key is to not let that struggle take over

There will be days when you give in, forget to put pants and watch 7 seasons of parks and rec while eating 3 day old pizza. 

We all have those moments. 

Its ok to be human

Bringing Out the Fat Kid

Alright Ya'll, I need your help.

I want the Fat Kid to grow

I want people to know they are not alone

We all have issues

We all struggle 

Some of us even struggle with the same issues 

So how can I help you? 

Is there a topic you would like me to touch on?

Recipes?

Grocery and meal plan PDFs?

More Poop Jokes? 

Help Me, Help You!

Sincerely, The Fat Manatee 

(See what I did there? Get it? Yeah my spirit animal and the fat kid just collaborated. Boom.) 

Oh Look... a Carrot

I knew it was coming

I could feel it barreling towards me like a freight train unable to stop

I could have done things differently

I knew how to fix it

I just didn’t listen

Now the train has come to rest after it barreled into the mountain causing an avalanche

That avalanche came so fast and so hard it dropped me to my knees

Right down in front of the goddamn refrigerator.

Sigh.

Nutrition is hard

I get that it’s not push a baby out of your lady parts or stop using drugs kind of hard

But C’mooooonnnnn

This food is bad

This food is good

This food is good unless the 7^th moon is in the sacred house of Thor

This has gluten

Gluten is bad

Well kind of. Gluten is bad for some, great for others

Fat is bad.

Fat is good

Caffeine is a terrible addiction that will lead to cravings, starbucks gold cards, and a weird connection with keurigs

Don’t eat carbs, they make you fat

Unless it’s this specific kind of carb that of course how did you not know is perfect for you?

You  need to eat while you run

No. Not pizza, dumbass.

Never eat on a run

Gatorade will change your life

Gatorade will make you shit your pants on a run.

Chipotle… see above.

Everything in moderation

You need 3500 calories today… for breakfast.

Eggs are bad and filled with cholesterol

JK… eggs are great, egg whites are bad

It’s enough to make you want to running screaming into the hills or to the nearest nutritionist

Let’s not even get into the organic/free range/vegan/vegetarian fight.

I like meat. I prefer it to be raised ethically and sustainably. I also prefer to not pay $20/lb for a hamburger because the cow as happy before it DIED.

Oh god. I just made so many people angry. I am sorry… I take it back.

Also veal is delicious.

Dammit…. That last one slipped out.

Anyways… it’s hard.

It’s hard to find what works for you

What your body agrees with

What you agree with

What your family will eat

What they won’t eat

Where you can go to eat when you and your stove have a disagreement

When to eat

How much to eat

Calories

Food is Fuel

My engine is running (literally) damn near all the time

And its running long miles

I need lots of fuel

Good Fuel

None of that unleaded shit

(damn I miss pizza)

Saturday I went for an 11 mile run before breakfast

My goo’s didn’t sit right with me for whatever reason

And when I got home the last thing I wanted to do was eat (I know I was just as confused as you are)

I love to eat

I love to cook

I wanted food

My stomach wanted nothing to do with food

So I waited

And I waited

And then I finally ate, I forced myself to eat 3 meals.

None of them were shockingly healthy but they filled the requirements

Protein, carbs, veggies, fruit

But it still didn’t replace what I had used up

And I had a big bike ride the next morning

So I did my ride…

Low and behold I still wasn’t starving

I went through the same routine

Protein, carbs, veggies, fruit

Still not enough and I knew it

Well then Monday shows up like the reliable bitch it is and guess what?

I am a starving mess of hulk hangry empty bottomless pit-ness

And I am at work where I limit my food

The train has hit

The avalanche has fallen

And now I am just wandering around looking for survivors

Oh look... a carrot

The Good, the Bad, and the Calf Sleeves

There seem to be some changes going on in this body, life, and soul of mine. 

Not all good

Not all bad

Just changing

My parts are rearranging themselves

Every spare ounce of muscle has gone to my quads,

 who will now be known as Thunder and Holy Shit is that a tumor??

(Arnold gets it)

Never before has this been more true

(the Oatmeal also gets me)

This is a blessing and a curse. 

These bad boys carry me across finish lines, around a track, up hills

Of course after all of that they act they have no clue what to do when I stand up from the toilet

Its also super cute when my quads fit in my "fat" jeans but nothing else does

Spandex and leggings it is! 

I also have shoulders fit for a linebacker

The calves of a professional stair runner 

The stomach of a professional beer drinker 

and a laundry basket that would bring tears to a garbage mans eyes. 

But enough about Pro's of the tri life. 

A funny thing has happened in the last 8 weeks, I have never been a sweaty person. 

I don't require a towel with every workout

I don't leave sweat outlines on the floor

I can forget deodorant and nobody will notice 

Well, I didn't use to anyways. 

Now?

Bring a parka. 

Welcome to the Splash Zone 

What the hell body??

I actual had sweat dripping from me today

I had so much sweat in fact that I managed to fling it from my upper body onto the bike handles. 

I looked around expecting some sweaty nasty MF'er to be on the bike next to me

and I was ready to be thoroughly disgusted. 

It is embarrassing to look around with angry face ready to rip some sweaty jerk a new one when you realize the guy next to you doesn't even have a sheen on him

YOU are the sweaty MF'er 

and YOU are grossing people out 

I hightailed it out of the gym, still pouring sweat like I had just jumped out of a pool. 

I promise there have been good changes too.

My endurance is waaaay up 

running is starting to be fun again 

I am starting to see improvements which keeps me going

I feel strong 

I can crack walnuts with my thighs 

I feel like I have started to get over the training hump

of course its about to increase again and I will probably just be a lump who runs, bikes, swims, sleeps, eats and grunts. 

Scott is starting to learn my grunts 

1 grunt: Bring me Food

2 grunts: you really think that's enough food?

3 grunts: just push the couch in front of the fridge

1/2 grunt: sleep

silence: I'm out on a run

I grunt + I throw the truck keys at him: take me to the running store or bike shop I want to look at stuff  I don't need and can't afford

Eye lashes fluttering, actual words, I have make up on, and I have showered? that loosely translates to "please buy me that bike jersey or those running shoes"

I am not the best company on weekends

I go to bed at 8 

I don't drink

 (But I might complain loudly about wanting a beer)

I wear calf sleeves when I do go out 

I will ask to swing by the running store so I can say hi to my friends and pick up more nutrition 

I also might fall asleep randomly

I wouldn't trade this for anything though. 

Olympic Glory: Going for Brown

You probably are thinking this post is going to be about poop based on the title. 

Well I can't promise there won't be any poop jokes but it won't be the only topic

Sunday was my first Olympic Distance Triathlon

I have completed 4 Sprint distances so I thought 

" well hell, lets double the distance and see how that goes"

It was a warm up for the 70.3 Half Ironman in October 

1500 meter swim, 26 mile bike ride, 6.2 mile run 

no big deal

I have been training for a half Ironman

I got this

26 miles on a bike is nothing

 I have ridden the course, I know whats coming. 

Well all of that was well and good until I was racking Sprout (my bike) and ahem... Lubing my chassis. 

There are moments in life that make you second guess your decisions,

lubing up in front of a couple hundred people is one of them. 

Talking about lube on your blog even though you know your parents read this is another one. 

oh well

sorry mom and dad

So,..

I racked sprout, lubed up, stripped down to my race suit and tri shorts in front of god and everyone. Then because I didn't look cool enough and I still had a shred of dignity left I put on my cap and goggles. 

So now I am bug eyed, spandexed, lubed, sunblocked and ready to race

Lets get this done! I have beer to drink!!

Oh look they are going

there are a lot of green caps in that group

hmm. No that can't be right I am supposed to be with the green caps

ShitShitShitShitShitShit

WAAIIIITTT

*starts garmin*

Okay and GOOOOOOOOOO

Water is my element.

My spirit animal is a manatee

A fast manatee but still a sea cow

Off I went, I tried to focus on not getting clobbered or doing any clobbering of my own

Open water swims are a fight

very nice people start throwing punches, pulling feet, and swimming like drunk seals into you 

I try to stay to the side so that I keep any UFC style fights to a minimum

I did have one chick run into my side repeatedly

I have no idea what she was doing or where she was going

maybe she thought I was a kayak

I made it out of the water around 31 minutes

It felt like longer than 1500 meters so I have a feeling I went a little too wide trying to avoid the pack of rabid humans. 

Next was onto the bike

I have practiced this course before so I felt confident

The course decided to knock me down a few pegs

everyone I had passed in the water was now flying past me on the bike 

I huffed my way up the hills

screamed all the way down the hills

35 mph on a bike is not fun 

anyone who says otherwise has a death wish

I wasn't sure what I was more afraid of... crashing at 35mph, popping a tire at 35mph, or shitting myself at 35mph (there it is! poop joke: complete)

I just screamed obscenities the most of the way back 

I must have been entertaining because I heard more than one spectator chuckle

once Sprout and I made it back to transition (we made it in one piece) I ripped off my cleats, put on another layer of sunblock, another layer of lube and got to work. 

The run course is no joke. 

1 mile flat, 2 miles up  hill (and not a cute "hill"), 2 miles down hill, 1 mile back to the finish line

I decided to walk the 2 miles up hill. 

I wasn't going to be breaking any records running it and I decided it was better to save my legs and make up the time coming back downhill. 

I averaged 15-16min miles going up and 10 min miles coming back down 

by the time I hit the one mile left mark I was tired

Tired and hot and hungry and tired and thirsty and hot and whiny

and ready to be done

I ran/walked until I could see the turn to the finish

at that point some members from our local running club started running with me

I said I wanted to walk

and they said no (I appreciated it)

so I ran

I did not run fast

coming into the finish line I picked it up a little more and gave it everything I had

I left everything out on that course and I would do it all over again

having family to cheer me in was the best

(in law family, running family, friends for life family, badass family)

even the announcer noticed how big our cheering section was .

I needed shade, food, and cold water in no particular order

I forgot how much the sun affects you at 7000ft

after a few minutes in the shade, 73 water bottles, 3 watermelons and 12 oranges I started to feel normal 

I could have gone for an ice bath that was equal parts ice and beer but that just wasn't in the cards

I came in 74th place which I have decided is the honorable brown medal

Next in was Jolynn and then Heather

I love watching people come in

the smiles, the fist pumps, the tears

I just love finish lines

After the race it was cold beer and an atrocious amount of calories

It was the best beer I have ever had

and it was Bud Light

All and all this gave me a good idea of where I am in training, what I need to work on 

(hills.. cough cough...) and how important training is. I could have never completed this race if I hadn't been kicking my ass for the last 7 weeks. 

It will only get harder from here but the finish line high will keep me going for a while

Next up Tempe Tri

Then its the Big One

Better find some brown tri shorts 

(You didn't think I would leave with just 1 poop joke did you?)

Training Week 5

Holy.Crap.

Where has the time gone? 

I can't believe its been 5 weeks since I started this nonsense

I can proudly say I have not missed one workout

I have had to slide a few around or push back 

but I haven't missed one

not even after I spent a night praying to the porcelain gods after a stomach bug

that was super fun

I have run countless miles

rediscovered the joy of chafing

and fanny packs

I have biked all over the state

my tailbone is in a constant state of sore

I continue to push myself to create new boundaries

 (both public decency and physical exertion)

I have spent what feels like more time in water than out of 

I am remembering why my brother used to call my "Briana Urlacher"

my shoulders no longer fit in cute shirts

only tank tops and football pads

I have washed my spandex more times than I can count 

I am hungry nearly all the time 

my weight has redistributed itself (mostly into my shoulders) 

I can feel a difference

I can see a difference

the scale is being a stubborn bastard

I know a number doesn't mean shit 

but c'monnnnnn

I have eaten more lettuce than I originally thought possible 

I am still working on my nutrition

because nutrition is a fickle little asshole who promises one thing then does another 

Sure! you will totally lose weight if you eat right and run your ass off

Oh.. I am sorry did you mean you wanted to see the scale actually move?

What I meant was you will lose water weight that will immediately come back 10x because you are drinking enough water to drown a manatee

Oh and by the way  I know you are like super hungry and you should be eating 2500cal a day but I meant 2500cal of carrots, grilled chicken, nuts, and lettuce soooo better get started 

and you should probably invest in a trough. 

The amount of "good" food it takes to get to 2500cal is a little bit more than even you eat

yeah. I said even you. 

I've seen you eat

seriously do you breathe?

I am demolishing food like its my job. 

Food is fuel and this tank requires quite a bit these days

Its hard to figure out what works and what doesn't 

its harder to figure that out when you are 15 miles into a bike ride

This is what I have found

bean burritos make excellent night before food

(homemade beans without the extra crap like lard)

They have salt, carbs, and keep you full 

Now that is not actual science(shocking I know)

that is me eating a bean burrito and having a really really good ride the next day

Stinger Honey goo's are the best during a long workout

they taste better than most I have found

the consistency is better 

they are organic

Watered down Gatorade works best for me during long workouts

as a supplement to my stingers 

Cold Ice water when you get home is the nectar of the Gods

Seriously. 

After that a plate full of farm fresh eggs to replenish 

salads make great weekday dinners 

they are light, fast and easy

Kabobs are also awesome 

You can grill almost any vegetable and it will taste badass 

If you get tired of something, don't force yourself to eat it

Don't wait to eat. 

That results in growling and unkind words to your spouse

Listen to your body 99% of the time 

The other 1% when its whining about ice cream and pizza you can tell it to stuff it.

Squatting with Pride

Training Week 2 

Well. 

I am tired, my laundry is never ending, my pants (which may or may not be clean) seem to fit better and I am happy. 

What more can you ask for?

So what went on this week in the wild and crazy world of half Ironman training?

I ran

I swam

I biked

actually I had my ass royally handed to me on the bike

I met some friends for a hilly 13 mile bike ride,  no big deal right?

This was supposed to be my redemption ride. 

Well as I started up the first small hill my lungs gave me a big F*&k off and I fell to the back of the pack

I thought no big deal... I am ok with being at the back of the pack.

I am at one with my slowness

Sprout (the name of my little green bike) and I are very aware that we will not be winning any races

Well then that pack started to pull away

I still though meh, no big deal. 

Then I looked down the barrel of our first "real" hill and I thought maybe I needed new friends.
This is not fun

This is not how normal people spend their Sunday mornings

Normal people eat donuts and sleep in

this is what idiots do

Then I remembered I was the idiot who first signed up for Ironman Oceanside 

These were my fellow idiots

My people 

My very far away people 

So I pedaled

and I cursed

and I said screw this and walked

then I pedaled some more 

cursed some more

made up a few new curse words when I came across what could be the worst hill ever at the turn around point 

Saw a few donkeys

Called my husband for another lesson in small ring vs big ring 

I really really really have to work on hills 

My new goal is to make some hills my bitch

I don't care if I have to live at South Mountain or cry the whole Bartlett Lake ride. 

I refuse to walk my bike anymore

I may not be able to sit down to pee for a while 

But I will squat proudly

Training Week 1

Well I am officially into my 16 week training program for my first half Ironman (HIM). I am exhausted and a little worried that I am this tired after just week one. I am hoping that its the combination of starting a new program, going back to work after 5 days off, and the exhaustion that comes with travel. My program involves working out 5 days a week, 2 rest days, 2 long work out days (Sat/Sun...good luck getting me to stay up past 7 pm those days), and a whole lot of eating. I generally require quite a bit of calories to keep me going but my hunger the last few days has been unreal.  I feel like I never stop eating. I have made a conscious effort to really focus on the kind of calories I am getting and not just the volume. I also decided to give up a few of my guilty pleasures while I am in training because honestly as much as I love pizza, I couldn't figure out how it was going to help me cross the finish line. The finish line is my real focus right now and for the next 16 weeks I have to make it my biggest focus. I will not cross that finish line if I half ass anything, training or eating. I also decided to cut cream from my coffee because I don't need the extra crappy calories, I would rather use them up on another egg for breakfast or a cheese stick with my lunch. Booze is the last thing I cut out (except for Heather/Jolynns Birthday in August). Again it is something that I enjoy but its not going to help me get to the finish line and since these days 1 glass of wine gives me a monster hangover I can't really afford that if I have to get up and run at 5am... 

I also can't afford the 5 rolled tacos I usually enjoy while hungover. 

I know it will get better, I know after a few weeks I will feel stronger and my endurance will increase day by day but right now I am shaking in my spandex. That's probably a good thing, it means I will take this training seriously and work my ass off to push my fears to the side. This is also a much more intense training program than what I have done in the past, even training for the marathon was just a few runs during the week and a long run on weekends. Nothing major... This is major and its pretty freaking cool. Sometimes I have to remind myself of that. 

So the next 16 weeks involve a lot of sunscreen, a lot of "chassis" lube (I found an all natural one that I love so that is exciting), a LOT of food, a lot of sleep, a lot of training, and a whole shitload of laundry. 

A Day in the Life

A Day Inside My Head

(I apologize)

Inner Athlete: Woo Hoo its Monday! Got my lunch pack packed, my shoes tied tight! 

Inner fat kid: You should stop for Donuts on the way in, who would know?

Me: Mmm donuts.... NO! NO! NO! I didn't spend an hour in the kitchen yesterday to go pay somebody to make me breakfast. 

Inner Athlete: Sitting inside all day sucks. 

Inner fat kid: Did you know this chair spins?! We could spin all day, watch some netflix, and order pizza!

Me: Work. Work.Pizza. Running.Work. Vacation. Work. Cold beer on vacation. Ironman. Work

Inner Athlete; Yay Lunch! 

Inner Fat Kid: Yay Lunch!

Me: Yay Lunch! 

Inner Fat Kid: Wait a second... this is salad!!! Boo Lunch

Inner Athlete: Could you please invest in a treadmill desk?

Inner Fat Kid: I noticed there are frosted sugar cookies in the breakroom. Free Cookies. Frosting. 

Me: Work. Work. Cookies. Treadmill. Work. 

Inner Athlete: Finally! Sunlight! 

Inner Fat Kid: I miss the spinning chair

Me: Sweet Baby Jesus its like the surface of the sun outside. C'mon AC...

Inner Athlete: So what delicious Ironman worthy food are we going to cook up tonight? More chicken Pitas? A salad? Maybe some eggs?

Inner fat kid: You know there is cold beer in the fridge and barros is across the street right? Its your rest day you totally earned this!

Me: Does Pita Jungle deliver? Oh wait, I never made the chicken kabobs... I have some bacon I need to use, better wrap it around the chicken. 

Inner Athlete: There is a lot of smoke outside

Inner Fat Kid: I smell Bacon

Me: SHIT SHIT SHIT 

Inner Athlete: Yay Bacon! And veggies that taste like smoke!

Inner Fat Kid: seriously?

Me: I can make this work still. 

Inner Athlete: My body is a temple and I refuse to eat those smoke filled veggies

Inner Fat Kid: Just peel off the bacon and eat that 

Me: Well. Shit. Better make something for Scott

#FoodPrepSunday #It'sNotRealIfYouDontHastagIt #hashtag

Hi everyone! I am still learning the art of hashtagging, if its an art  I never perfect I will be ok with it! 

I had a couple of people request some of my recipes, here are a few that use as a basis of many meals. Let me know if you like them. Thanks! 

4 requirements for my meal prep... Portable, Cost Efficient, Tasty, and Healthy

Baked Egg

This is one of my favorite breakfast recipes because it’s easy, portable, and holds up well throughout the week.  You can adapt the base recipe and add whatever ingredients sound good to you. I have done artichoke, sundried tomato and feta (seriously awesome), ham and cheese, Spinach sausage and mushroom, the possibilities are endless!

This week I did a Beef Chorizo, bell pepper, and cheese baked egg.

1Lb lean beef chorizo from Sprouts  $2.08 (on sale)

16 eggs (.25/egg) you can also use one of the big egg white cartons

1 Green Bell Pepper ($0.88)

1 Red Bell Pepper ($0.88)

8oz shredded sharp cheddar (On sale $1.25)

This makes 8 servings at $1.09/serving. This can be cut into smaller pieces for little humans but Scott and I have big appetites. I usually supplement this with a green smoothie, toast with avocado, or a bowl of fruit.

Directions

Heat your oven to 425 degrees

Brown the chorizo on the stove until almost all the way cooked, set aside

Chop your bell peppers into small chunks

Crack the eggs into a big bowl and beat until all the yolks are broken and everything is mixed well.

Spray a 9x13 pan with Pam

Spread the chorizo and bell peppers across the bottom and then top with the egg.

Bake at 425 for 45 min, the egg will set and no longer wiggle when you gently shake the pan.

At 45 minutes pull the pan out, top with the cheese and place back in the oven for 5-10 minutes.

(I usually turn my oven off at this time and let it finish baking while the oven cools down)

I leave it in the pan and cut it a slice at night for the next day.

Meatballs

I will do my best to estimate amounts, this is a tweaked family recipe that I have made as long as I can remember and I don’t use measuring tools anymore. I love using meatballs because they are easy to eat at work, I can just cut them with my fork and dive right in.

2Lbs Ground meat of preference, I usually use chicken or turkey because its readily available.

½ cup finely shredded Parmesan

1 cup bread crumbs

1 egg (you can use 2 egg whites as a sub to cut a few calories)

I toss seasonings in randomly. This week I used Italian seasoning, salt, and pepper.

Mix together and roll into meatballs, 2 lbs usually gives me 16 meatballs.

Spray a large frying pan with your oil of choice (I love the new Pam coconut oil spray)

Let the pan get hot and then start adding your meatballs, the pan should be hot enough to sear the meatball.

Keep turning until all sides are browned. You can let them finish cooking in a pot of hot marinara or place a lid over the meatballs and let them keep cooking.

You want the internal temp of the meatball to be at least 165 degrees, you can check using an internal meat thermometer.

Breakfast Burritos

I am still on the hunt for the perfect tortilla. I want one that will hold up, taste good, and not be filled with lard. I am filtering my way through the hippie tortillas at Sprouts, it’s a hard job but somebody has to do it! Heads up, this makes 5 Lauren sized burritos (mfp est cal is 450/burrito) on large tortillas.

5 tortillas (pick your favorite)

1 carton egg whites (again you can always use whole eggs)

1 can drained and rinsed black beans (patting them dry helps too)

2 tomatoes chopped

Sausage of choice (leaving this one open, sometimes I use chicken sometimes I go right for the pork! You can also use ham or bacon or leave it out all together) should be around 16oz of meat. If you choose to go the bacon route, think 1/2 slices per burrito. 

8 oz cheese (give or take)

Brown  and crumble your sausage, set to the side

Cook your scrambled egg whites in a large pan, add in the sausage, tomato, and black beans.

Mix together until every bite of egg has some sidekick yumminess with it

Lay out the tortilla, scoop about 1 cup of egg mixture in the center, add ¼ cup of shredded cheese, and roll that bad boy up!

Wrap in foil or saran wrap. You can freeze or throw in the fridge, they last about 4 days in the fridge before the cheese gets weird.

Reheat in the morning or lunch or dinner or all three if you are feeling extra burrito-y and enjoy!

I put mine unwrapped in the microwave for 2 minutes (increase time if frozen)

The Battle Rages On...also a cameo by Amy Poehler.

I battled the fat kid all day long. 

Not in the usual sense, I wasn't trying to shove my face full of pizza and donuts at every turn. 

Don't get me wrong.. I was HUNGRY.

I ran hills last night and I could have happily dove face first into whatever was readily available. 

However I made sure to pack my prepped foods so I was able to stay the MF'ing course. 

Today wasn't about telling the fat kid no. 

No, no pizza for me thanks. 

No, Beer isn't really my thing. 

 It was about telling that little asshole to shut the f*$k up. 

Anxiety, fear, and self doubt were the name of the game today. 

That little voice in my head was screaming today. 

I am not fast enough

I am not skinny enough

I am not working hard enough

I will never follow through with anything

I will never finish an Ironman

I just wanted the voice to go away. 

I don't give a shit if I am not fast enough. I am out there pushing my body and working to be faster. 

Fuck. Skinny. 

Yeah I said it. 

I am strong, I am healthy, and I am working on tailoring my birthday suit. 

That stupid number on the stupid scale doesn't define me. 

It doesn't make me less of a person. 

It doesn't tell you who I am. 

I am a strong badass woman. 

Yeah I wear a fanny pack when I run and I own something called Hoo Ha Ride Glide. 

I still Tri 

(see what I did there)

I will finish an Ironman. 

I will finish if I have to drag my legs behind me like a dog. 

Hell or high water

Blood, road rash, exhaustion, knee pain, sunburns, and black toe nails. 

I will finish.

That little voice inside my head just told me that I just jinxed myself and my finish. 

I am going to crush that stupid voice like a bug. 

The battle rages on. 

Its not always physical. 

Sometimes the mental aspect is worse. 

When in doubt, listen to Amy Poehler. 

(Side note, go buy her book. It's amazing. I laughed, cried, and snorted)

Donut Do That

I made a very, very, very bold statement today. 

I am not being held to it... yet. 

I kind of want to take it back

I kind want to see if I can

I know I can finish an Ironman if I put everything I have into it. 

I am not sure I can do this. 

5 months isn't long at all right?

You guys will all help me with the detoxing and shakes?

Okay. Ok. Okaaay. 

I promised if one of my friends signed up for IMAZ70.3 that I would... 

Give up pizza and donuts until after the race.

I know. 

I know. 

Its not set in stone yet. 

I could take it back 

I am a little tempted to see if I can do it. 

But fa reals... no pizza after a 10+mile run? 

No pizza to go with my beer after a 50+ mile ride?

No maple long johns?

I may have really jumped off the deep end this time. 

Living the Sherpa Lifestyle

As a triathlete and triathlete wife I am currently in a cocoon of sherpa bliss. 

What is a Sherpa? 

Well in the Triathlon world it's usually the athletes spouse/parent/significant other/person who lost a bet who will be helping that athlete carry a lot of shit around (Including but not limited to bikes, bags, bike pumps, more bags, sunscreen, wet suits, and more bags), they scream and jump up and down when they see the athlete on the course, they will drive the athlete to the nearest drive through after the race, they come up with awesome signs, and they will listen to every detail of the course including that 3rd bathroom stop that didn't go as planned. 

I really enjoy sherpa-ing for Scott 

One of the best things about being the sherpa is that you are not racing but that's also one of the worst parts.

Watching him train day in and day out, two a days, 100 mile bike rides, and ice baths don't really get me ramped up for my race in October but walking through Ironman Village or watching athletes get their transitions ready really makes me wish I was suiting up with them. 

So why am I in Sherpa heaven? 

Its 3 weeks until Ironman Coeur D'Alene 

Which means I get 5 days by a lake, a really beautiful lake. 

I also don't have to run 26 miles so that always makes me happy. 

However after a few days of sherpa-ing by a lake and out of the heat I get to start my training program for IMAZ70.3

The day we get back I get to plant my ass on a bike. 

There are no take backs, no excuses, no bullshit. 

I am scared. 

I am nervous

I am excited

I am scared

I am putting a lot of trust in myself and that is hard. 

I am embracing the suck

I am dreaming of post training pizza

I am really scared 

There are so many miles between me and the finishers shoot in October. 

Miles that I am excited to take on

miles that lead to pizza 

Miles that lead to amazing things. 

I have sat through 3 soon to be 4 Ironman events and there is really nothing that compares. 

3 weeks until I leave the safe and warm cocoon of my sherpa lifestyle. 

I can't wait to see whats on the other side!