My beat up and over used wagon

Back on the wagon again.

How many times have I said that?

How many promises have I broken to myself and to others?

This would be the time I lose the weight

This is the time I keep it off

I have been on every diet out there

I have read every nutrition book

I’ve been to a nutritionist who specialized in eating disorders

I went to a nutritionist who specialized in endurance athletes

I ate mindfully

I ate whatever I wanted

I ate only vegetables and beans

I tracked

I didn’t track

I’ve been through every emotion

Happy

Sad

Anxiety

Mad

Frustrated

I felt them all

Full

Not Full

Where the fuck is my pizza and donuts

Show me one more piece of spinach and I will stab you

Brussel Sprouts are life

Spinach in my spirit animal

Pizza is my spirit animal

No its fine, Michelob Ultra is low carb

Seriously. No more spinach.

Give me a cow, almost raw, just kissed on the grill and some horseradish.

All.Of.The.Emotions.

I am like my own spinning wheel of prizes

But sometimes that spinning makes me bloated and full of donuts

I will never be, nor do I want to be somebody who eats only spinach and chicken for the rest of their life

I need moments with pizza and red chili, and beer, and donuts

But as I have discovered I have to regulate them.

Like a drill sergeant.

This doesn’t mean I need to feel guilty about eating them

(whew that I was a big barrier to leap over)

But Moderation doesn’t work for me

(read Swim Bike Moms post on this, it’s fantastic)

I can’t eat a slice of pizza 1x a week and be done

It wakes some kind of beast in me that screams for all of the sausage in the building and a gallon of ranch.

So instead I have it every now and then

I let the fat kid out and then I cage him until next time.

But the longer the fat kid is out, the harder it is to shove him  back in the cage.

Also if I ate pizza once a week I would gain 20lbs

Sure, go ahead and laugh.

But Lauren it’s not your whole day, one piece of pizza doesn’t make you fat just like one salad doesn’t make you healthy

Oh.

Oh, Honey.

For me it does.

I have eat a fairly regulated set of meals just to stay in the overweight category instead of the morbidly obese category

(Both categories I have to fight like a rabies filled raccoon to get out of)

This involves a lot of egg whites and a lot of vegetables.

But you run all the time, you’re an Ironman!

You are proving my point.

And I am sure someone is out there screaming but if you only went vegan/keto/south beach/21 day fix  you wouldn’t have to do that.

And I can tell you, I have tried.

And at the end of the day everyone is different.

What works for others may not work for me.

I think this is an epiphany for me.

Why I struggle so much with eating a way that keeps me in a healthy category

(Please don’t say you can be healthy at any size. Happy for you but it’s not for me)

Anyway.

The reason that I struggle so much and why I am constantly jumping on and off the wagon is that I know at the end of the day if I truly want to lose weight and work on my health (above and beyond my ability to run a shit ton of miles) I have to eat a very regulated menu.

For the rest of my life.

Ugh

AMIRIGHT?

My family and health means more to me than that

But it turns me into a foot stomping 2 year old

BUT I DON’T WANT TO EAT MY SPINACH

Alright chill the F out Lauren, you are a  31 year old women who can cook a plethora of different vegetables and enjoy them.

You love Brussel sprouts you hippie weirdo.

And I still will give myself breaks to enjoy food (and I will not feel guilty when I do)

But.

Fucking but.

@#$*(&$@^ BUT.

I have to eat a lot of vegetables, lean meats and egg whites in between those “fun” days

I also have to make sure fun days don’t turn into fun weeks/months/years/my thirties.

So some days I grumble into my foods

Some days I dive into a plate full of broccoli like it’s my savior

Sometimes I decide that today is a day for pizza and I unlatch the fat kids cage.

Just like some days I run 20 miles and some days I sit on the couch

Moderation may not be my thing but Balance can be.

I am on week 3 of my regimented ways and shockingly its working.

The fat kid and I cannot coexist on a regular basis.

We have to be friends who see each other only at weddings and reunions

So If you see me and I am eating my egg whites and broccoli please don’t tell me to live a little.

I want to live a lot and for a long time

Please don’t tell me its ok to have just one because I won’t

Please know it’s taking a good amount of effort to make lasting changes and that I want to be the best version of myself.

Halfway

Well. 

I have survived the first half of training, only 5 weeks to go. 

5 weeks to take another considerable chunk of time off my miles

I have made significant strides with my speed but I have to now add in consistency

AND take away some of the standing on a random road trying to suck air into my lungs while convincing my legs to keep going and simultaneously yelling numerous amounts of curse words put together in creative fun lengthy strings. 

Yes. 

Less of that. 

I am starting to get into the longer miles and every weekend is based on when and how I can get my run in

Waking up at 5  (ON A WEEKEND!) 

eating oatmeal

wearing fanny packs

having friends drive out to bring you lube on a Sunday morning

LUBE DELIVERY ON A SUNDAY

Yeah. That happened

Chill out it was for my arms

Oh, whats that you say? 

Why would one put lube on their arms?

that's not the fun way to use it?

Well... 

That's, like,  your opinion man. 

Also some of us don't quite think out the fact that their super cool back pack that carries treats (yes I call them treats) and water might create enough friction under their arms to start a fire (or draw blood)

Training is FUN!

also... time to switch back to the fanny pack

But progress is happening

improvement is happening 

Those are W's in my world

Is there a chance that I won't hit the sub 2?

Yes 

It's so hard to balance this brain of mine

Inner Athlete is screaming " There is no failure! We DO NOT accept defeat. Sub 2 or die trying" 

Inner rational Lauren says "give it everything you have, but don't let this consume you"

Inner Fat Kid wants to know if we get pizza afterwards and by afterwards he means do we really have to run at all and can't we just eat the pizza? 

Its a 3 way tug of war. 

Right now I am leaning towards " If you can walk when you finish you didn't push hard enough but if you don't hit your goal then try again and a large Sausage double cheese."

Training continues

The inner battle continues

I continue. 

LUBE DELIVERY! 

Ya'll I had to put out an SOS to my running friends to bring me lube

And she showed up with multiples kinds

 that cracks me up. 

It just makes me giggle

Ok I will stop

Anyways... 

everyone have a good week and I will try to get better at checking in 

LUBE

SOS

I sent out a lube SOS

Ok I swear that was the last time... 

In the words of Bruce Willis

Hi. 

It's been a while

A long while

My computer gave me a "new number who dis" when I tried to sign in 

 My self imposed year off is over 

I celebrated by signing up for a half marathon

because... duh 

and I am sure you are all wondering why I signed up for another race

But Lauren, you didn't even know if you liked racing anymore

You couldn't remember what it was like to enjoy training

you spent hours and days wondering if you actually liked racing or if you did it because other people in your life enjoy racing. 

You.Took.A.Year.Off. 

and this is what you decide??

A half marathon?

way to ease into it dipshit

Guess what?

Turns out I really do like racing

training.... eh

its alright

but racing.

Fuck... 

its the best. 

Finish lines and cheering crowds

people pushing to be their best

the adrenaline

the sweat

the feeling like your chest is about to explode and  your legs might give out and jesus christ am I hallucinating or is that pepperoni pizza at an aid station

its the best.

and I missed it

at first I didn't think I did

I went to a few races and without fail 17 or more people asked me if I was sad

and I proudly held up my breakfast burrito, looked down at my sandals and said NO!

then a few months later I went to some more races

and I watched people cross the finish line

cross the finish line into a giant puddle of sweaty stinky smiling mess

and I smiled

then I teared up

then I said seriously Lauren? get yo shit together. 

and thats when I realized 

I missed racing

I missed it so much

I wanted to grab a bib from someone, anyone and push my legs to the limit

I wanted to have the black lung from a particularly hard run

I wanted the hunger and the pain

I wanted it all

Its official.

I.LOVE.THIS.SHIT

Love it 

I have this competitiveness that has to be let out 

running gives me that feeling

and it doesn't matter if I am first or last

(but first would be pretty fucking cool)

It matters that I gave it everything I have. 

Will I do another full Ironman?

probably not

Will I do another half Ironman?

Fuck Yes I will

and I will hit sub 7

Will I have moments of failure, moments of wanting to quit, moments of doubt, fat kid off the leash at at buffet moments

Ha... oh yes, so so many moments. 

Will I decided to push for a sub 2 hour half?

You betcha

Will I make other decisions that make people question my sanity?

More than likely. 

but fuck. 

Life is too damn short to give it anything but everything you've got. 

As the wise Bruce Willis once said

Discipline

Discipline has never really been my thing

Donuts have been my thing

Pizza has been my thing

Eating Chinese food and watching blazing saddles has been my thing

But discipline…

Nah, I’m good thanks.

I wait for motivation to strike and then I bleed that well dry

Example: training for 3 half iron and 1 full iron distance races in 12 months.

As I entered my (Scotts) credit card info I basked in my motivation

I sat high upon my motivation mountain and looked down

I was motivation, I breathed motivation, I became one with motivation

Right up until I wasn’t

The well was dry

I was chugging my bike up another goddamn hill thinking how I could be eating donuts and not chewing on another peanut butter and jelly sandwich and boom motivation was gone.

The fickle creature left me right in the middle of my training.

Poof.

Gone.

See Ya Later

My motivation had gone to the pizza parlor to kick back with a beer

I was still on the hill

It was discipline that kept me from throwing my bike in front of traffic and following my motivation to get pizza

There has to be a balance

As soon as I crossed that finish line I lost a large chunk of both

I put my bike in hibernation, nursed my sore and chafed body parts, and went after some beer and pizza.

Its 6 months later

My bike and I are still not talking

Nether regions have not forgiven me

I have enjoyed the hell out of not training

I do miss competition but I am sticking to my year off

The problem with a year off is finding the discipline and motivation to treat my body like it deserves

 My goal is happy and healthy

Not a finish line

Not a specific weight

Not a certain pair of jeans

Happy

Healthy

So I have had to find discipline

Motivation is easier

Motivation is my husband, my family, our trip to New Zealand

Discipline is looking over a pile of donuts as I eat my eggs

Are donuts the devil?

No

Do I have to eat only Kale and water to hit my goals?

Nope.

In fact if I did that I would be miserable

Miserable is very far from happy and healthy

 

So what is the point of my random ramblings?

Motivation will not always be there

Discipline will not always be there

Keep moving forward regardless

If you don’t have motivation to go to the gym that day then go because you are a disciplined athlete

No discipline to put down the donuts? Then use your motivation to back away and eat something that makes you feel good.

We have to find balance

None of us are perfect

Least of all me

 

Find the balance

Find the motivation

Find the discipline

Find Happiness.

Life Post Ironman

2 weeks ago I raced 140.6 miles 

then I did nothing 

nada

zilch

zero

well I did eat

but as the cruel fates would have it I also contracted the cold from hell 

so while I could eat and not have to train

I was also coughing up my lung

I did combine a crap load of dayquil with some intense will power to attend a concert with Mr Fat kid

we had so much fun, dancing and singing. 

So much fun in fact that we were hurting the next morning
Did you know there are bars that sell 6 packs?
we didn't
we do now...
Like I said... We were hurting 

So what does life after Ironman hold for me? 

Well I am sticking to my guns about no racing/training in 2017

My life has revolved around Ironman training for the past 20+ months

I need a break mentally
You can only spend so much time worrying about did you buy enough lube, is what you just ate going to make you shit your pants on a run, or does this fanny pack look cool?

Even before I decided to tackle the Ironman world I was always training for something

It has been my way of keeping the fat kid in check 

If I pick a race that scares the crap out of me then I am more likely to get my ass to the gym

so now I have a year of relying on my own motivation to continue to stay healthy

that is scary

the fat kid is running around screaming that we are going to eat ALLLLLLL the Cake

drink ALLLLL the beers

and NEVER RUN EVER AGAIN

Meanwhile the inner athlete is walking around in circles wearing the Ironman medal and trying to calculate the pace we would need to keep to run a sub 2hr 1/2 marathon, the training plan we could build to get back down to a 9 min mile, or searching Tri bikes for sale in stevebay.

I need balance

I need to trust myself 

and I need the inner athlete to sit on the Fat Kid

There has to be a world where we eat cake (A piece not the whole cake)

we run because we want to, not because we have to

maybe we even run fast 

maybe we work in some zone 2

maybe we research fast/flat 70.3 courses and day dream about a sub 6.5

maybe we say screw it and spend out afternoons jumping on trampolines
Or sitting in our house blogging while listening to Spice Girls with a snoring dog at my feet
(definitely not what is going on currently)
Who knows

I know  that it is scary
Who thought I would be afraid of not training
not me
not the fat kid
maybe the shaking and rocking inner athlete, she might have had an inkling
trust
fuck.
how do you trust yourself?
how do I let go of that control
my sweet sweet control...
no training plans
just me and the motivation to stay healthy and  enjoy myself
enjoy working out
I know part of the reason I love racing is I love pushing my body to that limit
I love finding that limit and pushing past it
I like the pain
I would feel weird about that last sentence but I know I am not alone
I married someone who feels the same way
So now I workout out to enjoy it
again the fat kid and inner athlete are screaming over what to do
the fat kid is making the argument that if we change the TV channel enough times its a workout
The inner athlete is wearing a drill sergeant outfit while screaming to run sprints and do burpees
I think trampolines and riding horses at adrenaline inducing speeds are in my future
bonus... I don't have to worry about getting hurt and dropping out of a expensive race
Balance
trust
fuck

Have I mentioned I am scared?

Race Report: Ironman Arizona 140.Freaking6

I wanted to use another word for Freaking

You're welcome Dad. 

I am an Ironman

I have joined the ranks of crazy bastards who swim 2.4 miles, bike 112 miles, and run 26.2 miles

Ya'll are a bunch of nut-bags

and I am so happy to be here

It was such a long day (16+ hrs) but it seemed to go by in a blur

Friday afternoon I got off work and headed down to check in

I was so stressed and anxious that I almost had a melt down right there in the beach park

I pulled myself together enough to nod along and pretend I was listening to the very nice volunteers explaining to me where to sign my life away, where to put my stickers and I tried not to think of the bracelet as a handcuff. 

Once I was checked in I headed to the swag tent.

because....swag. 

We wandered around a bit and then headed home. 

Once we were home I started panicking again. 

It was 4pm, I still needed to pack, swim, seat, and go shopping

Luckily Scott saw the panic in my eyes, took my shopping list and went to grab my extra supplies and grab dinner while I got my last swim in

We packed my bags, unpacked them, repacked them and then I made myself leave the Tri-room and attempt to relax (aka: eat a bean burrito laced with xanax)

Before I knew it, it was Saturday morning... how in the almighty fuck did that happen?

why is time NOT slowing down

I am not ready 

I didn't train hard enough

I could have pushed myself harder

I could have... I should have... 

Then I told myself to cram it

I checked my bike and bags in, talked with friends and went home to eat my way through the pita jungle menu and put my feet up. 

I woke up at 3:30 Sunday morning, oddly calm. 

I had laid everything out 

(or so I thought....foreshadowing)

so I just needed to make my breakfast, coffee and get into the truck for the ride down

We beat the traffic down and my anxiety went down even more

before I knew it I was lining up with 3000 of my closest friends

I placed myself with the 1:20 group and waited not so patiently for the gun to go off

I knew once I was in the water and moving the anxiety would go away and I could do the job I had come out to do

The male pro's went off, followed by the womens then they started letting us age groupers in the water

It was a rolling swim start so once you are the water your chip starts timing

This was my first non- age group all female wave swim

let me tell you something... 

men swim like drowning bears

they throw fists, they climb over you, push you and they pissed me the hell off

I think I swam faster just because I had to keep kicking them off my feet

I came out of the water at 1:24 

this was right in my goal time so I was pretty damn happy

Scott was a volunteer and managed to make it to the wetsuit stripping and he helped me out of my 

suit and ran off to grab my bags

Once I had my bags I ran into T1 to another smiling face Mrs. Amy

I warned her about what she was about to see and started stripping

I did FULL costume changes in each transition so I could be as comfortable as possible through out the day.

I wanted padded bike shorts for my ride, my comfy running shorts and a clean dry shirt for my run

once I was out of T1, I grabbed my bike from Scott and ran out

Once I was on my bike it started to settle in that I needed to bike 112 miles, 3 loops on the beeline. 

I had not managed to make it past 80 miles in my training so this was going to be my longest ride ever. 

(Apparently I dipped into the Beardedginja/Tdds training program)

Loop 1 felt great, I made it to the turn around in 1:23 and I had very little knee pain. 

The weather couldn't have been better, 70's and overcast

I headed back down to Rio cruising at 24 mph and finished the first loop in 2:20

As I started back up the hill for the 2nd loop I started to feel the dreaded knee pain that had knocked me down flat the last 2 weeks of training. 

I prayed to whatever gods had gotten my liver through college and downed more Ibuprofen 

I trudged up the GD hill to shea for the 2nd time but this time I had to stop to stretch my quad, my back, and I made it to special needs (another cameo from team TDDS)

They helped me unpack mybags and they held my bike so I could sit on the ground and stretch some more. 

I am pretty sure I got off my bike more that any other person on that course

thats how it felt anyways. 

I had actually stayed on top of my water intake and I was polishing off 4 bottles per loop

which is great news for my liver and kidneys

not so great for the 87 bathroom breaks I had to take

I also forgot my first set of base salt and nuun so I had to wait until I made it to special needs for my extras, then at some point those fell out of my jersey. 

So water it is!

I tried a gatorade and it was awful, way too much sugar for me. 

I also at one point thought I had left my uncrustables (which I had already left at home but luckily Mark ran to the store on his way in for me) in T1... Scott and Mark pointed out that they were in fact just in the back pockets of my jersey. 

DOH!

I had gone 2 laps on just two burgers and as many lara bar bites as I could shove in my mouth

I felt better on loop 3 than I did on 2

I made it up to shea in decent time

Scott and Mark were there waiting for me so I got off  my bike for a few minutes

re-lubed... found a chafed spot courtesy of the lube

tried not to cry

went to put some vaseline on my wind burned lips and thankfully Scott reminded me to switch hands

Do not lube and put chapstick on with the same hand

Also don't put biofreeze on first then use the same hand to re-lune

just trust me on that one. 

Downhill on loop 3 was rough, I was going into the wind, I was tired and I wanted to un-wedge the bike seat from my ass. 

I only managed 18mph on the downhills and maybe 12mph on the flats 

Finally I came into T2

its pretty awesome to come in with your family and friends screaming for you

Scott was at t2 and grabbed my bags for me and I went back into the land of naked stinky women

one more costume change, some water and I was out on the run course

now I had not really thought too much about the run during my training

I was much more concerned with my ability to ride 112 miles in my allotted time

as I stepped out of the tent it hit me that I still had to run 26.2 miles

As I started loop 1 I passed Sasha headed out on loop 2

by the 2nd aid station I had to pee AGAIN

damn you tiny bladder 

luckily Stacey was there to get a picture! 

but guess what? I didn't poop my pants

#winning

loop 1 was pretty uneventful

I was running more than I had anticipated and Scott joined me for a good portion of the run to keep me company

as I came into mile 13 I hit a wall

A hard, immovable my feet hurt, I am tired, is this over yet... wall

Scott kept walking with me, he told me I had to keep a sub 18 min mile to finish in time

that kind of pissed me off 

I am not an 18 min mile person

I am not a fast runner but I am not a walker

I am stubborn and I am not going to take that route just because it would be easier on me

I grabbed my bean burrito at special needs

I let my dark thoughts fester for 2 miles

As I came back under the bridge Scott, Mark, and Jen walked with me for a bit

I had a scowl on my face and I was hurting

I decided then that it was going to hurt either way. 

I started running

my knee was screaming

I gritted my teeth and kept going

I ran  20 of the concrete slabs in the side walk then walked 5

all of a sudden I was running a 12 min mile and cruising towards Mill ave

the look on Scotts face as I came under the bridge told me I was making good time

I got a Holy Shit woman, you are doing 12 min miles from Amy

I had a smile back on my face

I may be slow

I may need to walk

but I am stubborn as fuck. I would give a mule a run for its money

I made my way up curry where I ran into Scott, mark and Jen again

Scott told me to slow down so I didn't hurt myself

I smiled to myself and told him its a good day to die 

 

I had to walk some more as I approached mile 25 

mile 26 I got a big ass grin on my face

This has to be what it feels like to be a pro athlete

people on either side of the chute screaming your name, high fiving you, crying for you

then you hear it... 

Mike Reilly the voice of Ironman says

LAUREN ELLIS YOU ARE AN IRONMAN!

fist pump

fist pump 

run to Scott who some how has womens race winner taking our picture as he places the medal aroundmy neck and gives me a big kiss and hug. 

I am an Ironman

the finish line is a blur

there were lots of pictures

We even got a picture with Meredith Kessler !

a volunteer grabbed me by the shoulders (they don't trust you to walk on your own) took my timing chip, handed me my hat and shirt and directed me to the pizza tent

16+ hrs all to have people bring me pizza and take my shoes off for me

I am beyond proud of myself 

it took a lot to get me to this point

Thank you to Scott who was my husband, sherpa, best friend, shoulder to cry on, xanax feeder, chef, housekeeper, landscaper, and the best volunteer out there

thank you to team TDDS. You all made me smile and laugh every day. You made training so much better. 

Thank you to my Coach Frank Sole, you believed in me and pushed me and I will forever be thankful. (lets talk more about that sub 6:30-70.3 this time next year)

thank you to all the volunteers especially, Amy, Julie, Steve, Christy, Stacey, Zachary, Scott, Mark, Mandy

Our Cheering squad, Gotta Run, My parents, Anthony, Theresa, My In-laws (parents, and brothers), TDDS, Heather (even with your evil music), my nieces and nephews, Sarah, all the random strangers 

thank you Ironman for putting on great race

maybe some more TP and the late night aid stations

although yelling from a porta potty to volunteers while my pants are down and my quads are frozen so I can't move any where is pretty funny

( now... not funny then)

Thank you to the lady who made sure she was far enough in front of me before she stood up and peed on her bike

Thank you to the athletes who took the time to say hi, ask my name, and ask how I am doing

Just thank you.

I am sorry if I forgot anyone

I really couldn't do it without any of you

I am sticking to my word and I am taking a year off from racing

I need to focus on being a better Lauren, a wife, a friend, dog mom, and horsewoman. 

  maybe that barrel racing horse is in my future... ha! 

I may not have pooped my pants but there is a chance Scott just did 

Race Day Lists

This is the biggest race of my life

(to date)

I have struggled to get to this point

I have run countless miles

Biked all over this damn city

Swam enough laps to make this self-proclaimed fish want to stay on land

It’s almost here

I want to vomit

Just puke up all my nerves and anxiety

I am starting to make packing lists

(1. Bike)

Grocery lists

(1. No Kale)

To do lists

(1. stop panicking)

Not to do lists

(1. poop my pants, see grocery list above)

My lists have lists

Lists are crucial

When we were driving through the bike course at Vineman, we passed a guy yelling at random cars for bike cleats

He was riding a very nice Tri bike, in a very nice jersey with Vans on

I don’t want to be that guy

Please don’t let me be that guy

Although I would rather be that person vs the pooping their pants person

Maybe my  lists need a redo…

Maybe they need to be simplified

And not in excel format… scheduled down to the minute.

New, Simple, Ironman, no pooping pants list:

Grocery shopping:

Anything that doesn’t include marinara

All I need is wicked heartburn for 140 miles

Packing list:

Bike

Cleats

Lube

Clothes

Goggles

Wetsuit

Lube

Running shoes

Bib

Anything else is just gravy.

To Do:

Relax, take a Xanax

Maybe a beer

Eat

Drink your water

Get some sleep

Don’t do:

Panic

Watch the weather channel religiously

Pop a Xanax into your beer

Stare at the ceiling fan when you should be sleeping and imagine all the horrific ways this could end

Vomit

Cry

Cry while vomiting

Poop your pants

Any combination of the above



Taper Ramblings

We are slowly starting to wind our way down to IMAz 

I opened my phone on Monday to a message from Ironman that said "Welcome to Taper Week AZ Athletes!"

Yeah? Really Ironman? 

It's not enough that you send me Athlete guides or Bib Lists

Now I need be smacked in the face with the fact that my sand is very quickly running out?

Well. Fine. 

I guess those emails ARE helpful

but they also give me panic attacks. 

It doesn't feel like taper week is here

Its Wednesday and I have already swam 7300m

I mean, Fuck. 

AmIright?

I swam so much today that I stopped at the Wendys in my gym parking lot to wreck the shit out of some chicken nuggets

That is not some very well thought out adulting

I am a grown up 

You think I would throw a granola bar or something in my swim bag 

nope

Chicken nuggets

Spicy chicken nuggets 

because while I may not be adult enough to remember a snack

I am adult enough to eat childrens food that will no doubt give me heartburn when I go to bed at 8pm

Its a delicate balance 

I am so ready for training to be done with but I am not ready for race day to be here

Sometimes I think about it and I calmly mentally walk myself through what I think the day will be like from check in to crossing that finish line

Other times I think about the day and I consider turning to Scott and just screaming

Just screaming

maybe some shaking

probably some crying

maybe some chili dogs

who knows where that day dream ends up

I can see myself towing that start line

I can imagine making the turn on my bike

I think about running in the dark 

then I panic

Then I talk to Scott and calm down

then I panic again

I am pretty sure that this will be the routine for the next few weeks

But lets not forget that after I finish, I don't work on Monday. 

I work Tuesday and Wednesday

Then... 

thanksgiving

and I... 

am 

going 

to 

wreck

some

shit

IMAZ 70.3 Race Report

Ironman 70.3 numero tres is in the books

I even managed to squeak out a PR

I came out of the water at 40:18

5 min in transition

Off the bike in 3:39

Another 5 min in transition

And 3:12 on the run

Totaling up to 7:38

This is a 15 min PR on this course and a 2 min PR from Oceanside

This is not my “A” race for the year so I am happy with the outcome especially because I didn’t push it on either the bike or the run.

The morning started out like any other race morning

The alarm went off way to early (3:45)

I grabbed some food, made the coffee and settled into the truck for the drive down to Tempe

Once we were down there I started setting up my transition

I usually handle this like a child, I pull all my crap out of my bags, make a huge mess and sit on the ground as I organize it.

This is also part of the reason I like to be there early, I can make a mess and clean it up before it gets too packed.

By 6 am I was body marked, set up, and out of transition

Because I was in a later heat that meant I still had 2 hours to hang out

2 hours to think about the day

2 hours to contemplate the meaning of life

2 hours to lube up and get into my wetsuit

Justin was out of the water and on the bike before I even stuck a toe in

I wasn’t a huge fan of starting this late, it meant I was going to be in the heat longer and I was going to have to fight through the other waves of people

Once I was in the water I found my way to the front

My coach had given me the ok to push as hard as I could in the swim and I wanted a front row spot

The gun went off and the washing machine started

Women thrashing, kicking, and swinging their way into a freestyle rhythm

I took a pretty good hit to the face when I caught someone’s elbow, luckily they hit my goggles and didn’t break my nose.

This swim felt looooonnnnng

For IMAZ 70.3 it’s an out and back swim in the shape of a rectangle and you swim counter clockwise

They have yellow buoys so you know where to go and at the red buoys you turn.

On the way out I tried to stay as close to the buoys as possible, so close that I accidently ran into 2 or 3 of them

Eventually I started thinking ok, time to look for the red buoy. It has to be coming up

Yellow Buoy

Yellow

Yellow

Where is the goddam red

Yellow

Yellow

Seriously how long is this course?

Yellow

Ok, I give up. Time to take off my goggles and see where this stupid buoy is

Oh.

It’s 12 inches in front of my face.

TURRRRNNN!

I checked my watch at the 2^nd turn (halfway point) and I was under 20 min

My goal was 40 or under so I put on the rocket boosters and did what I could to stay at the front

I started passing swim caps that left before me and before I knew it I was coming under the bridge and making the final turn.

40:18, 2 min PR on the swim!

I let a stranger rip off my wetsuit and I headed into T2

I was a little winded when I came in so I took my time getting my shoes on, eating a PBJ sandwich, lathering what I thought was plenty of sunblock on (It wasn’t) and sticking my hand down my pants for the essential lubing of the chassis

My plan for the bike was consistency, I wasn’t going to push and I wasn’t going to tear up my legs.

I managed to stay in the 19 min range for each 5 mile segment

I was having some technical issues with my bike and the clicking sound was getting worse and worse as I went

I prayed that it would get me through the race and made a silent promise to get it to the bike tech this week

The IMAZ bike course is a convoluted mess of turn after turn with a few hills and one hair pin turn that will pucker you right up.

On my 3^rd loop up to the hair pin turn I didn’t even try to make the turn.

I was tired, it was hot and the small amount of grace and coordination I do have was long gone.

I unclipped (which worried the volunteer) and walked my happy ass around that turn.

I let them know I was fine, just uncoordinated and headed back into T2.

I was so happy to get off the bike

Anytime I get to unwedge my ass off a bike seat I could cry with joy

I made it in at 3:39 this is pretty close to my previous bike time on this I same course but I used a lot less energy this time around.

I averaged just over 15mph, which for me is huge to keep that pace consistently

I walked into T2, went through my costume change (no shame in Ironman), re-lubbed, added more sunblock, grabbed my hat and headed out on the “run”

I decided after about 5 steps that I was not going to run this race.

I knew that even with a few days off I still had to jump right back into full training and I wasn’t eager to trash my legs.

I decided I could keep a 14:30 pace if I walked quickly and set my eye on that goal.

The 1^st loop of the run was uneventful, a little lonely and I perked up big time when I saw my family

I asked Scott to walk with me for a while just to take my mind off the heat and walking

This is such a huge lifesaver for me, I am not big on talking to strangers and even an introvert like me could use some company after 5+ hours of alone time.

I started to chafe a little bit on my under arm and I thought about asking the athletes around me if anyone had lube.

Then I thought that might be a weird way for me to start a conversation with a random group of strangers

“excuse me, does anyone have lube?”

“No, don’t look at me like that! It’s for my arm chafing”

“ yes that really is a thing”

“Yes. Arm Chafing”

“Never mind”

I think the world of triathlon is one of the only places you can ask someone for a stick of lube and they don’t even bat an eye.

I knew I had an aid station coming up and I knew I had a friend at that aid station

So as I came across the bridge I asked Amy to see if they had Vaseline at her station.

They did!

As I came around the corner she held up her stick of lube and asked if I needed anything else.

The only appropriate response was some friendly sexual harassment

(I will spare you the details)

My mom and Sarah joined me for a few minutes, my dad stopped in, I high fived TDDS, and kept on trucking

As I started the 2^nd loop Scott caught up to me again (He ran almost as much as I did)

He talked me through my aches and pains and said those magical words every triathlete longs to hear

“You have a chance to PR this”

Swoon, right?

No?

Ok.

Well those were exciting words for ME to hear

I still was intent on not running but I knew even if I kept my current pace I could PR

The last loop started to wear on me, the heat was intense, I could feel my sun burn, and there is very little shade on the course.

I was ready to be done and sitting in the AC

Before I knew it I was less than a mile out

Scott and my parents were there and kept me going

Scott let me know I had 6 min min to get to the finish line for a PR

I started running

Then I promptly thought “well, Fuck this” and went back to walking

Scott told me again, 4 min to PR

Crap. I am going to be so pissed at myself if I miss my chance at a PR because I was walking

So I ran or hobbled if you will

Ironman is a group of twisted souls so of course there is a hill right before the finishers chute.

I made it up the hill and my pain disappeared.

I high fived Amy, heard the announcer call my name and ran across the finish line

I was surrounded by awesomness, Julie was there to give me my medal, Scott and my family were waiting at the end of the chute for stinky hugs, and I was finally done.

70.3 miles in the books

I came out with some soreness, a wicked sunburn, some chafing, a blister the size of Texas, and a smile on my face

We grabbed some In N’ Out on the way home and I crashed

Well. First I had a mild panic attack about the full 140.6 then I crashed.

My big race is just around the corner.

I know I will get through it but I am scared.

Scared and panicked and scared

Thank you for everyone who came out to watch and cheer, all the volunteers, all the well wishers near and far

You were all with me on that race course and I couldn’t do it without the support.

Next up Ironman AZ 140.6

Don’t vomit

Don’t poop your pants

Don’t die

Cross the finish line before 17 hrs

Eat all the things