Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Handling stress like a true fat kid

The more I stress the more I want pizza. As my work load, family worries, and general “being an adult sucks” stress increases I try to find ways to bury them in gooey, delicious, cheesy, doughy, goodness. Yes, it’s not the most adult way to handle my adult problems but it’s how I have always dealt with things in the past. Take a hour or so, enjoy a good meal and an adult drink, relax, forget my worries (just for an hour), regroup and then tackle everything head on. So this week when I am thinking about moving ahead at my job, getting the mortgage out on time, my family in Texas, I immediately want to go to my old standby. I want to order an extra-large Barros pizza with pepperoni, sausuage, and extra cheese. Maybe a side of wings if I am feeling dangerous… Oooo and let’s not forget the extra sides of ranch. You are not a true fatty unless you have an emotional connection with ranch (I am worse because if I am not smearing something in ranch then its mayonnaise and the real stuff not the wimpy “miracle whip”) The hardest part of trying to make a lifestyle change is the fight you have with yourself, the rationalizations, the arguments, the “but everyone else cans”, or my particular favorite… How many miles do I need to run in order to cancel out the heaping serving of cardiac arrest I just served myself? It is a constant frustration, all I want to do is eat what I want and not get fat. I don’t think that’s too much to ask…

Last night I went to the gym, ran 3 miles and did the intermediate 300 workout. That workout kills me everytime, my abs are still sore. Now that the half marathon is over and we are creeping up to the Mudder I really have to work on upper body/core strength. Being able to run for hours at a time is not going to help me get over a 20ft wall. I have asked Scott to make sure that I am sufficiently terrified in the hopes that it will keep me from eating crap.

Today has been really, really, really hard to not shove my face with carbs covered in cheese or chocolate, or ranch. I am trying to stay strong and right now my only defense is to combat the urge to eat crap by eating good stuff. Carrots, bell peppers, almonds, hummus with a whole wheat pita, salad, chicken, egg whites, gallons of water… the urge is still there, I still think I am hungry when there is no possible why I can be, but this is part of the fight, part of the changing, and part of the challenge to better myself.

So off I go to eat rabbit food (I am not overly enthusiastic about it today) and continue my prayers that one day I will live in a world where pizza is calorie free and doctors encourage you to eat tons of it.

Thursday, January 24, 2013

The tinkerbell half marathon results

I have run 3, 1/2 marathons in the past two years...here is the run down

Women's half marathon: 3 hours

Phoenix PF Chang's: 2:35 hours

Disney's tinkerbell half marathon....drumroll please....

2:10:37

Ahem....

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Love, hate, churros, and running

The closer I get to race day the more I seem to dread running. We are now 4 days away, countless miles have been ran, goo’s have been eaten, blisters/bruises/scrapes and scratches have been attended to, costumes are planned and now it is time to put all of this time and effort into 13.1 miles. The last 6 weeks have been spent on a pretty strict running regimen (minus 1 week when the flu kicked my ass), 4 shorter runs during the week and 1 long run on Sundays. This also included 3 other races (green run 10k, turkey trot 10mile, and chocolate run 15k) to help prepare us. I feel like we have spent so much time running and putting miles on our shoes that I need to sleep this week away to get ready for the race. Of course I can’t do that so I get home, put on my running shoes, head phones, 18 layers of clothing and head out the door.

I have this love/hate relationship with running. I hate almost every second that I am out there, I hate breathing hard, I hate the cramps and the aches that come with it but I also can’t seem to function without it. It also relieves stress and makes me feel better. My legs look better and I am proud of myself for setting goals and accomplishing them. Then there are the days where everything just seems to click and I just murder a run. Those days are when I decide to lose my mind and sign up for another race but it is such an incredible feeling to just let go and run. Let my stress melt away, let myself get lost in the music, let my aches and pains fall away with every mile. I love the days that I feel like I can run forever, but for every day I have like that I have a day where I can barely get myself out the door. Every step feels like my knee is going to give out, I can’t seem to find my pace, and I spend the next three days holding onto stair railings or using the handicap bathroom to pee because I am so sore I need the bar to help me sit down. It’s a very frustrating game of internal tug of war

Other than the 13.1 miles I am pretty damn excited about this race

A: It’s in Disneyland

B: I get to run with two of my best friends

C: Disneyland

D: Churros and margaritas after the race

E: Disneyland

F: Disney runners expo

G: Disneyland

H:Carbs

I:Disneyland

J:and Disneyland.

There is no point in arguing against Disneyland, it’s the happiest place on earth which is now even happier thanks to Downtown Disney and the availability of adult beverages!