Millions. I could make Millions.

Balance. 

In the triathlon world it is a continual juggling act

except instead of 3 its 87 and the balls are chainsaws

In one hand your training

In the other your work

Up in the air you have your family,

 nutrition, 

finances, 

and life outside of spandex

I'm not sure the last one exists. 

I am  not so good at balance

or juggling 

I can bike, run and swim my ass off but I will probably also be downing pancakes and bacon

Or I will eat a strict diet of kale and chicken but forget to swim for an ENTIRE week

Or I slack on training while diving headfirst into a dish of mac and cheese BUT! all my emails at work are answered

Training is on point, I have eaten nothing but salads, and my work is done? 

Best believe I will be wearing 3 day old spandex. 

Somethings gotta give. 

but I also hate struggle with relinquishing control

3 weeks to go and I am trying desperately to keep all my balls. ha. Balls. 

sorry. I am a five year old

sorry... all my balls in the air

. 

Scott has been fantastic and he is keeping the laundry done which = clean underwear for me (#winning)

He keeps the house clean, brings me food, and more importantly continues to love me throughout this roller coaster of training. 

I have up days and down days and fetal position crying out for vanilla coffee creamer days. 

the coffee creamer has been so much harder than the pizza 

Tired Lauren before coffee wants to pour her black coffee down the drain while running the disposal and laughing manically. 

I also want to throw things at my fellow employees who bring in the Jug O'Creamer

but I digress 

I am trying to keep my juggling act together 

by the end of this I should be a regular circus act 

Lauren the juggling, unicycle riding, pizza eating girl !

You have never seen a show like this folks!

She can eat more than an NFL Linebacker!

She can ride her unicycle for days in nothing more than spandex! 

all while juggling a set of chainsaws which she uses to cut her pizza!

Really. I could make millions. 

Suck it up Buttercup

This weekend was my 2nd Olympic Triathlon

 Strategically placed 4 weeks before the 70.3 

so I would have enough time to taper and work out any kinks

well as luck would have it I woke up Saturday morning sick

I figured it was allergies, took some meds and went about my day 

well by bed time I had figured out that it was indeed not allergies 

I took some more meds and hoped for the best

Sunday I woke up still sick but determined. 

I made some hot tea, ate my oatmeal and tried to sit in silence as much as possible to save my throat

when we arrived at transition I was a nervous wreck plus I was starting to drip snot

always a good sign 

Oh and I had forgotten to lube up the chassis before I put on my suit. 

good times. good, good times

I know I am not the classiest of ladies. 

I get it. 

My love of beer and inability to hold in a burp are part of me

However dripping snot while prying open my bottle of lube and simultaneously sticking my hand into my tri shorts makes quite a picture. 

I made it out of transition just in time to hear them say they were closing it right as I also realized I had not pumped up my tires. 

I crossed my fingers that they were still full from my last ride and promised myself to check them before I got on the bike. 

Next up? standing in line with 1400 people in bathing suits and gas. 

I don't know what it is about triathlons that makes people evacuate their bowels

especially with people standing close behind them

I swear somebody shit their pants in line, Heather can vouch for me. 

The swim was hard

 I have never been kicked and hit so much in my life

it was also a really fast group of swimmers

I can normally break free and get to the front but not yesterday

I was constantly surrounded by people and I still ended up getting out of the water in 32 minutes.

I stuffed a PBJ down,waved to my parents and hopped on the bike 

This was my 3rd time on this course

we are old buddies

The bike course is an old buddy that I want to push into oncoming traffic

its a lot of turns and a few hills thrown in for good measure

not enough to make me switch to the small ring

just enough to piss me off

I heard a lot of "ON YOUR LEFT!"

I kept a 15mph average and people were crushing me

I have to find a way to get faster on the bike

It is super demoralizing to have everyone you passed in the swim then pass you on the bike

I knew I just needed to keep pushing

The bike was pretty uneventful, I tried to clear my nose as much as possible so I could breathe 

Clearing my nose = snot rockets 

again the classiness is overwhelming, I know. 

I probably coated 4-5 bikers in snot

I finally rolled back into transition around 1:30 

laced up my sauconys and headed out on the run

It was hot

like really F'ing hot.

My dad said it was only 93, I think he lied. 

I ended up going through 4-5 bottles of water, an orange and a packet of gummies

I was trying to get any form of energy in me that I could

What energy I did have the flu monster was sucking right up

I had stayed on top of my nutrition but my body was giving me the middle finger

It was done

This was the first time I have thought about DNF'ing myself

during the first loop I kept thinking screw this shit. 

This is dumb, I am dumb. 

Then I would think no Screw that! Keep going idiot. 

You will be so mad if you stop now

Its Arizona, you were raised in this weather

SUCK IT UP BUTTERCUP

So I blew another snot rocket, said Fuck a lot, and started the second loop

I knew when I started that I would not be breaking any records

my only goal was to keep going

Just keep moving forward

this is only half the distance you have to do in 4 weeks

SUCK IT UP BUTTERCUP

quit whining and run, walk, crawl do whatever you have to do to get there

luckily I ran into heather around 1 mile from the finish

It makes a big difference to see a smiling face out on the course and have someone to talk to when all you want to do is sit down and throw an almighty hissy fit

So we talked

we walked

and then we ran in to the finish. 

I finished in 3:45

thats 15+ minutes from Mtn Man 

but thats ok

I finished

4 weeks to go until Ironman

70.3 miles

Time to trust my training

I will be focusing on losing a few more LB's and getting down to race weight 

Ideally that is 5-10 lbs

I will be eating pretty strict and my post 50 mile blowouts are over until after Ironman. 

I can almost taste the Pizza now. 

Enjoy the Little Things

I always get asked why I am doing an Ironman

What faulty wire in my brain caused me to sign up for 2 in 6 months

was I dropped as a child?

Am I missing a few key brain cells?

 Shockingly no. 

I am a fully functioning adult (or so they tell me)

I could have been dropped, probably was dropped but my parents swear it wasn't on my head

Sometimes I forget why I am doing this 

Usually around 4 am when I am lacing up my shoes, shimmying into spandex, and cracking open a new tube of lube. 

I have made better life decisions. 

I have also made worse 

All of this was going through my head as I made the 2nd turn on a 16 mile loop. 

As I made this turn I started to peel open my next set of nutrition

I was trying something new that has been highly recommended on every triathlete website and blog that I lovingly stalk in my spare time

As I looked down, unwrapped my food, and simultaneously started willing my legs to get up the next hill a smile came across my face. 

Yes I was coming up on 30 miles with a bike seat lodged in delicate places

yes my legs hurt

Yes it was hot

yes I wanted to be back in bed sweet talking a piece of bacon 

but I was outside, working towards my goals and eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. 

I tend to be a cranky individual

There is no way to be cranky while eating a PBJ

just try

You can't

because it tastes like childhood and unicorn farts

all I was missing was a glass of milk but that's kind of hard to carry on a bike in 100+ heat 

moral of the long winding story?

There will be a day when I can't do this

when I can't run, bike, or swim

today is not that day 

The Struggle is Real

I asked what if there were any topics that any of my readers (hi mom and dad!) wanted me to touch on. 

I was asked if there is anything I struggle with. 

What I struggle with?

Some days I struggle to put pants on and remember what I ate for breakfast 

some days I struggle to lace up my shoes and get my ass out the door

sometimes I struggle to be upbeat and positive

sometimes I struggle to sit still with all the energy (and coffee)

some days I struggle with making the right decision

some days I struggle to not eat everything in my sight

some days I struggle to get in 3000 calories to replace what I used up in training

some days I struggle with my 4am alarm clock

sometimes I struggle with spending so much time training and not with my family

I struggle to stay focused 

I struggle every day. 

But with every step I take, every mile I run, I get stronger. 

Every time I get in the pool or hop on the bike trainer when I really want to eat ice cream in my sweat pants I overcome one more struggle 

Every time I manage to shove the fat kid in a closet for a moment of peace I am winning the struggle

There will be something every day that I struggle with but the key is to not let that struggle take over

There will be days when you give in, forget to put pants and watch 7 seasons of parks and rec while eating 3 day old pizza. 

We all have those moments. 

Its ok to be human