deep fried and crispy with a side of attention deficit disorder

In this journey of lean protein, less fat, and low calorie options I am having a hard time fixing my feelings towards food. My partner at work has been on diet since the start of summer to get ready for his wedding in October. He has lost 30+ lbs and has a self control that I will never have nor do I want. He admits that he now hates food, it causes too much stress and he hasn't lost weight the healthy way. We talk about our struggles almost everyday and its been great having a partner at work who doesn't or can't eat fast food everyday and somebody at work who will tell me no when I want a double cheeseburger. But I don't want to hate food like he does, or resort to eating just oatmeal and protein shakes in order to drop a few pounds. I want to still enjoy food and 95% of the time I still do but its hard to find the balance and be able to say no or limit myself. I wish I had the metabolism to eat whatever I wanted and not gain a pound or that I loved working out so much that I could eat what I wanted knowing that I would work it all off in the gym. This isn't a "diet" for me, this is a lifestyle change. I don't want to have a heart attack or get diabetes but I also want to enjoy life and all it has to offer. I want my family to be able to enjoy food without the mental issues that I have towards food. I hope that one day it will just click for me and that I won't have the need to stuff myself to capacity with biscuits and gravy. I won't say that I will never have these foods again or that I will never make them again but I need to find a way to balance the splurge days. This may seem like a repeat of things that I have said before and I apologize for being redundant. Balancing eating right and living life is my number one struggle, its what leads me to cheating the most. There is a part of my brain that screams "you don't need food to make you happy" but the other part of my brain (the inner fat kid part) is busy beating the first part up with a churro.

This blog is a look inside my very scattered, and A.D.D. riddled head. I have the attention span of a fruit fly and I know it can be hard to follow sometimes....SQUIRREL!

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Epic Fail.

Well I hit 30 days of clean eating and I destroyed it with pizza, beer, tequila, and red meat. Saturday was my first race, it was 6 miles of running and obstacles. We finished in 1:15 and had a AWESOME time, I can't wait to run another race. So to commemorate this momentous occasion we had Pizza... Beer...Hot dogs...hamburgers...and Tequila. Bad News? I gained 1.5lbs. Good News? It didn't taste as good as I thought it would and it killed the craving. As I sat down with my cheesy bread and cheese pizza there was this overwhelming sense of guilt and failure. Scott managed to talk me down from the ledge and into the warm welcoming arms of dough, cheese, and marinara. So I killed the cheesy bread (so quickly that I had to hang my head in shame) and then moved onto the pizza. We went to little Cesar's out of lack of money and time and the pizza wasn't the greatest. I had two pieces and was so full I couldn't eat anymore. This sadly is an improvement, I am ashamed to say that there was a time I could have easily downed the cheesy bread and pizza while growling at anyone who tried to come close. We then went to the ASU football game (in wildcat blue) where there was ice cold beer, hot dogs, hamburgers, and a tiny drunk lady waving a bottle of tequila. I loved every minute of it, its amazing how quickly I get drunk after I stop drinking for a month. I was able to do all of these things in moderation, but I wish I had been able to say no. The tailgating crowd got to me, I was swept up in the moment. Sunday rolled around and as I nursed my food hangover we went to breakfast and a movie. We went to Crackerbarrel and I managed to order just a 6oz steak with eggs. I gave scott all of my sides (after I had 1 bite of hash brown casserole...I'm not a superhero! and some gravy) then we went to go see Moneyball and we turned down the popcorn and sodas.I was also trying to get my allergies under control and was fighting a sinus headache so food didn't taste the same. We had chicken shwarmas for dinner with low carb tortillas instead of pita bread for dinner. This helped me get back on track. Today I was much better I had 1 scrambled egg with 1 oz cheese on a low carb tortilla for breakfast, a muffin snack, lean cuisine for lunch, celery for afternoon snack, and leftover pasta from last week for dinner.

I keep fighting myself and if anyone ever heard the arguments I have with myself over food I would probably lose a lot of my friends. I have a very hard time not eating everything in sight. Sunday when we went to cracker barrel, even though I wasn't hungry I wanted to eat everything. Its hard for me to see a table full of food and not think that I HAVE to eat it, that wasting food is a bad thing. At home I set the portions and when I'm done there isn't a need to go into the fridge to eat more. Going out for dinner is easier because I can order a smaller appetizer and feel full.

So this week its a war between me and my inner fat kids ability to lay the guilt trip on pretty thick ( I think he must be catholic) So I am going to work on enjoying my food and not agonizing over what isn't good for me. I just have to keep thinking about it like a cigarette, sure 1 isn't going to kill you but a lifetime of it will.
FYI for pizza lovers: Oggis has a selection of flat bread pizzas all under 500 cals, I ordered one last week with a side salad. I wasn't able to finish it all but it was really really good.

My name is Lauren Ellis, I am a foodaholic and I am 30 days Clean :)

HOLY CRAP. I can't believe it has been 30 days already. 30 days of clean eating, 30 days of no drinking, 30 days of no fast food, 30 days of no soda,30 days of Healthy living. Where is my 30 day chip?!

I have lost 10 lbs, and gained a new found ability to control myself and my cravings. I still want all those bad foods but I am able to say no and walk away. Its hard to not reward myself with food for reaching 30 days but Food is Fuel not a reward. I have to use this as motivation to keep going, I am still way too overweight for my age and height. I have an additional 40lbs to go before I am going to be where I want to be and before I start to get into the healthy range for my height. So while 30 days is a big accomplishment for me, it can also be a set back for me if I let it. I have a busy weekend ahead of me and will have to be on my game to not slip up and eat a pepperoni roll. Tonight is the Dbacks game... another gauntlet of hot dogs, garlic french fries, and ice cold beer. Saturday is my first race, the Dirty 6. It is a 6 mile obstacle course ending with a mudpit. I will be running with Scott and one of my friends from work, Erik. Part of the advertising includes Food, Beer, and Mud. Hmmm gonna be hard not to grab a cold beer and pizza after the race! After that its off to the ASU vs USC game complete with tailgating. At least there I can use the Designated Driver excuse.

so 30 days, looks like the 2nd 30 is going to start off with a bang and by bang I mean a salad with light dressing :)

Side note: Coffee has been found to reduce your risk of diabetes and heart disease if used in moderation. It can also help boost your metabolism. This was amazing news for me! I am back on the coffee train :) but I am using sugar free creamer and keeping it to 2 cups or less and drinking 1 glass of water in between. Still no soda and I am still trying to get in a gallon of water everyday

Weight Watchers Cake (Yep thats right, CAAAAAKE)

Easiest recipe EVER. 
OK everyone get ready, if you don't read this carefully you might miss the very detailed instructions

1pkg Cake Mix
12oz Diet Soda

Mix and bake according to instructions on box.

I made this last night for dessert and it was ridiculously easy. Skip the oil, eggs, and water aka the extra calories and substitute diet soda. It tasted great and I topped it with fat free low cal cool whip. So the total calories per slice was 200. I used lemon cake mix and diet 7 up but the possibilities are endless. Chocolate and diet coke, vanilla and diet orange.... A great recipe if you need your sweets fix like I did. Only problem is now I have an entire cake sitting in my fridge

Enjoy!

Lauren Ellis: Low Cal Culinary Genius?

Ha I wish.

I am now on a new mission...Learn to cook low calorie food that actually tastes good. One of my main problems is that I miss fatty foods, Pizza, Cake, and anything with cheese. So I want to find ways to make these foods but stay within my caloric boundaries. 2 weeks ago I made low calorie pizza using premade pizza dough, sauce, skim mozzarella, and turkey pepperoni (125cal/slice) . Today I found a recipe for cake, its about 200cal/slice and it was super easy to make. I found the recipe on Weight watchers, I am sure most of you have heard of this recipe before but it was new to me. I am super excited to try it tonight after dinner. I will put the recipe up (you will laugh at how easy it is).

We have a couple of staple meals that we make and use during the week but I want to branch out from there and find new recipes, or ways to substitute different ingredients to decrease the fat and calorie content. Tonight I am going to experiment with chicken sausage with pasta, evoo, goat cheese, and asparagus. It could taste horrible but I have high hopes, hopefully the hubby likes it too. The Internet and my cooking light cookbook have been a huge help when it comes finding new recipes or ideas for old recipes.

So wish me luck and pray for Scott..Dinner may end up going to the dogs(lets be honest they lick their own butts, they can't be that picky)

Is it ok to beat a child if its your Inner Child?

I want to start off with saying that I DO NOT think its OK to beat real live children...but I could punch my inner fat kid in the face today without a seconds hesitation. All day I have felt like complete poop, my stomach is cramping, I'm tired, and I am just plain cranky. Most of the day I wasn't hungry and nothing sounded good. I didn't eat the food I brought with me except for a few sticks of celery with PB and the egg sandwich I made myself this morning. So I was low on calories which made me think that because I hadn't indulged all day that maybe I could squeeze in some Barros Pizza. I spent most of my day thinking about what I would order and how I could talk Scott into going out for dinner. But when it got down to go time I couldn't get myself to pick it up on the way home, I had also forgotten that Scott had dinner plans already and there is something very sad and depressing about eating pizza with just yourself and your guilt. So I said no to the fat kid, at which point he decided that he would try and con me into ordering a pizza. It was the normal junkie talk "you deserve this, you've worked hard" "you still have calories to waste" "nobody will ever know"
But the closer I was to ordering the more I realized that A: I still wasn't hungry, and B: I just flat out didn't really want pizza. I have built it up in my mind so much that I thought I wanted pizza even when I wasn't hungry. So another enlightening moment, if I actually think about my craving and don't just go out and give in, then I am less likely to splurge. I know most of you are probably think...Duh Dumbass, I know its not a hard concept but saying no to the inner fatty is not something I am well practiced in. I am also very well known for being slightly impatient when it comes to food. I eat entire meals in minutes and rarely come up for air before I am done.

I also want to say how awesome it is to hear feedback from people who read my blog (Even if you rub it in by saying you read it while enjoying your hamburger). It helps to keep me  going and every single person who reads this helps keep me in check. Its hard to sneak a piece of key lime pie around a person who just spent 10 minutes reading your blog about how you are dieting and trying to make a lifestyle change. So thank you the inner fatty hates you (no offense) But I think you are amazing and I really do appreciate the daily guilt trips.

I'm a Cheater

So yesterday was my first cheat day. Coldstone was having a ice cream social at their HQ and all the proceeds were going to the make a wish foundation. We were invited by one of scotts patients who owns a coldstone franchise. It really wasn't hard to decide for us if we would go or not. Free Ice Cream plus Make a Wish kids getting their wish? Yep not hard at all. So in order to prepare for my first headlong dive into the delicious world of coldstone I decided I needed to burn some Calories before I went. I went to Squaw Peak and hiked the summit trail to the top. If you haven't hiked squaw before its a great butt kicker, it takes about 1hr 30 min. So then I was ready to face the ice cream (I also limited my morning foods to save calories). The ice cream was awesome as always but I wasn't able to finish all of it, it filled me up to fast. Dinner was from paradise bakery and I had a 1/2 sandwich and Salad, delicious but not overly healthy. So the first cheat day is out of my system. I was feeling a little out of control yesterday and if someone had offered me pizza or worse I would have jumped at the opportunity but luckily my enablers stayed strong and I kept it together :)
Today I feel more in control but I also feel kinda crappy, that was the most calories and fat I have had in 3 weeks. Time to face the day and my inner fat kid (who was more of a outer fat kid yesterday) Today my battle will be against alcohol, not my hardest battle but I do enjoy a cold beer on a Saturday afternoon.

Have a Good Day

A 12 minute mile or a 6 minute mile is still better than no mile at all

WEEK 3 RECIPE: Stuffed Bell Peppers

We had these last week and they were great, a little hard to eat but easy, cheap, and healthy :)

Stuffed Bell Peppers
4 green bell peppers
1 cup cooked brown rice
1lb lean ground turkey
1/2 yellow onion
2 cloves garlic
no fat or low calorie marinara sauce
1/2 cup shredded skim mozzarella
1/2 tbls evoo

heat oven to 425 degrees
chop onion and garlic, cook in evoo in a large pan. add ground turkey and brown, add in rice.( add whatever seasonings sound good to you, I just sprinkled in some salt and pepper)  Mix all together. Set stove on low and let everything simmer
cut the top off of the peppers and de vein the insides. fill the peppers with ground turkey mix and top with marinara
bake in oven for 30 min, take out add cheese to the top and bake for another 2 min to melt the cheese

Day 19/20: Lauren and her Weight minus 8

So I am going into week 3 of my new food life. I have lost 8lbs and I feel much better than I did before. I did not realize how bloated I was feeling before. My stomach feels a lot flatter and I don't feel exhausted everyday or like I am dragging behind. It is easier for me to wake up get up and going. Every now and then I need a hit of caffeine but I found that I really like the monster zeros (zero calories, zero sugar, 1g carbs) but I limiting myself to 1-2 a week. I am able to go on less food during the day, I am no longer starving by 10am and rushing to the microwave to watch my lean cuisine rotate in slow torturous circles. I even survived not eating out of stress. Monday night I was held at work for 2 hours past my end of shift and during this time we were parked in front of an Arbys. I had not eaten dinner, I was cranky, and I was running low on self control. My partner went inside to grab something to eat and came back out with a steak sandwich, extra cheese, horsey sauce, curly fries, and a very large soda. Cue drooling.... He even offered me some of his fries. I wavered and even started to grab one, but then I realized if I can't stop myself from eating 1 curly fry how am I supposed to make an entire life style change? so I told him thank you and chugged some more of my water. Finding balance is hard. I want to stay away from anything that would lead to a relapse in food control. Getting pretty tired of water so I started switching it up with flavored water and crystal light. Other than that things are going good...

So another couple of days in the books and now that I can say I am 8lbs down I can use that as motivation.

If you start to feel down or lacking in motivation remember...

THE ONLY PERSON WHO CAN TELL YOU THAT YOU CAN'T IS YOU, AND YOU DON'T HAVE TO LISTEN.

Days 16,17, and 18 : A weekend recap

So Saturday was my first time going out to a restaurant since I first started my journey from Krispy Kreme to skinny jeans. We went to Daily Dose in Scottsdale with our parents and some very good family friends. As soon as we walk in I see bloody marys and Cranberry Vodka cocktails. There is nothing more relaxing than a weekend morning with family, friends, and cocktails. However I ordered a water and I enjoyed it, the company helped distract me and we had a great time. I ordered off the"HealthNut" menu and had a Eggwhite, sausage, and spinach omlete with a rosemary creme frise. It was actually much better than I expected and I only kinda missed the eggs Benedict with chorizo. For dinner Scott was craving Pizza and since I am always craving pizza, I set out on a mission to create a low-cal pizza. So I got on the computer and went through my recipe books looking for a recipe that fit my nutrition req's and my budget. We made a list and off to Walmart we went. We were looking for a whole wheat pizza dough but they didn't carry it. So we bought a premade pizza dough that included 2 14inch pizzas and Sauce (990cal/pizza) we found skim mozzarella (80cal per1/3 cup), and turkey pepperoni(70cal/ 17 pieces). When it was cooked and already we cut it into 10 pieces and it was 125 cal per slice. We also made a BBQ chicken and onion pizza that was 180 cal/slice. So for about 500 calories I conquered my pizza craving! I had 3 slices and 1 cup of salad with low cal balsamic dressing. It wasn't Riazzis but it was still good!

Sunday I had a hard day, I was working with somebody who didn't know what kind of eating plan I was on. I was craving fast food, didn't matter what kind but I wanted all of it. I had oatmeal for breakfast, a lean cuisine for lunch and I didn't bring enough snacks to keep me from snacking in ems rooms. I  had a cup of spinach soup after lunch and then I found a 100cal pk of oreos that I snacked on later. I even went as far as pulling out a sandwich from one of the ER's we frequent. However I put it back...it was something I was proud of later. I ended up working late at work and didn't get a chance to eat dinner. So calorie wise I was still ok but I should have been able to say no. My snack choices are getting better when they aren't snacks I bring from home. I realize that this is a work in progress but it can be hard at times.

So today is Monday and I have done pretty good so far. I had an egg sandwich for breakfast, apple snack, leancuisine, celery, and triscuits. Dinner isn't decided yet but we have plenty of low cal options at home. Being busy always helps my cravings and I have definitely been busy today.

Another day in the books. I am 8lbs down and I hope the number keeps growing. Thank you all for your support!

Day 15: weekends, holidays, and sometimes birthdays

Eating at restaurants is part of life, we go when we don't feel like making dinner, for date night on weekends, and we go for family gatherings. So how I am supposed to stay on track? How do I find a low calorie and nutritious meal outside of my house? We don't always pick where we want to go either, just because I am trying to eat healthy doesn't mean everybody is going to want to go to wildflower bread co for breakfast or pita jungle for dinner. Tomorrow morning I am going out to eat with my husband, my parents, and my in-laws at a place called Daily Dose. So my challenge is to find something on the menu that fits within my parameters. I want something that will fill me up, is low calorie, and is something with nutritional value.

How do we balance eating right and splurging... I can't and won't say that I will never have pizza again or that cake is off limits. But I do have to set limits, I cant let myself gorge every weekend just because its the weekend and its time to relax. However I am not going to be sitting at the Thanksgiving table with a salad watching everybody chow down. Part of me hears that and says c'mon if you were really serious about this new food life then you wouldn't stray from your diet on holidays or birthdays. I think there needs to be a balance. Food has always been a very important part of my Family. We own restaurants, my brother is studying to be a chef, and we just REALLY enjoy food. Its what we gather around, its how we form bonds, and its how we spend time together. So I am going to enjoy food still but its going to be limited to special occasions and its going to be in moderation. There is no need for me to eat 3 helpings of Christmas Dinner, or to eat my whole birthday cake by myself.

There is also this fear that if somebody who reads my blog sees me eating something other than lean protein and leafy greens that I will have disappointed them. That if I ever eat another slice of pizza again I will be a failure. Its part of my issues with food and my need to please everyone but this is for me and my health. So if you see me out for a special occasion and I have a slice of pizza or cake, or a beer please don't think that I have failed (if you see me grab for a second slice feel free to slap it out of my hand) I am trying to find balance in a food world that is tipping the scales with krispy kreme and fried chicken and keep myself sane.

Gym
30 min run 5.7mph
15 min StairMaster fat burner plus level 7
sit ups

Food
egg white omelet with chicken, bell peppers, onions, feta, pesto
turkey burger, 1sl low fat cheese, sandwich thin, mustard, ketchup
apple
protein shake

Recipe : Blueberry Cheesecake Stuffed French Toast Casserole

Blueberry Cheesecake Stuffed French Toast Casserole

Ingredients:
Olive oil cooking spray
13-14 slices whole wheat sandwich bread crusts removed
1cup low fat ricotta cheese
1/2 cup 1/3less fat cream cheese
4large eggs divided
5 tbsp organic evaporated cane juice divided (I couldn't find this ingredient so I used splenda and It worked great + zero cal)
1 3/4 cups fresh blueberries
1cup 2% milk
2 egg whites
2 tsp vanilla ext
1/4tsp sea salt
1/4 cup sliced unsalted almonds
Blueberry sauce
2 3/4 c fresh BB
1/4 c org evap cane juice
Instructions:
1. Preheat oven to 350, coat a 9x13 in baking dish with cooking spray, place half of bread in bottom of dish trimming as needed

2. In a food processor combine ricotta, cream cheese, 1 whole egg, 2 tbsp cane juice. Process until smooth. Pour over bread layer and spread to coat evenly. Top with blue berries. Cover with remaining bread trimming to fit in single layer

3. In a large bowl whisk 3 remaining whole eggs, 1 tbsp cane juice, milk, egg whites, vanilla, cinnamon, and salt. Pour evenly over bread. Place almonds in a ziplock bag a crush with rolling pin. Add remaining cane juice and shake to combine. Sprinkle over bread. Cover with foil and bake in center of oven for 25 min, uncover and bake for an additional 10 min until center is slightly puffed and set. Then broil for 2-3 min until top is lightly browned. Remove from oven and let cool.
4. prepare blueberry sauce in a medium sauce pan combine bb, 1/2 cup water and cane juice. Bring to a boil and then reduce heat to low and simmer uncovered and stirring often until berries begin to burst and sauce thickens about 10 min
Divide FT into 10 portions with 3tbsp of BB sauce

Cal: 285
Fat: 9
Sat fat: 4
Sodium: 378
Cholesterol: 101
Carbs: 39
Fiber: 4
Sugars: 22
Protein: 13

This turned out great, its a good Saturday/Sunday morning meal and its low calorie so its a win win. It was also easy to throw together and not too sweet or overpowering. You can follow the instruction up to step 2 the night before and start at step 3 in the morning to cut back on time.

Day 14: Food Porn

Yesterday I worked at a station that was pretty slow, we watched TV for most of the day and only ran two calls. The person I was working with wanted to watch travel channel. I love travel channel and since we do not have cable at our house I thought this was a great idea. We started with a show about cruise ships which was interesting and was a great way to pass the time. However then came the next show,  a show dedicated to pizza. PIZZA, freaking PIZZA (if you were unsure up until this point, pizza is my favorite and a weakness) we watched an hour of where pizza started, how its made, and the best places around the nation to get pizza. At this point I am starting to freak my partner out, I am drooling and slowly inching closer and closer to the TV. If I had started licking the TV I'm pretty sure he would have called a manager. Luckily we got a call and had to leave the station. However now I am faced with a new problem... I have my wallet on me, I am out and about, and NYPD pizza is on our way back to the station from the hospital...I will save you the details of the embarrassing fight I had with myself but I managed to steer away. We got back to the station where I heated up my Lean Cuisine and told myself that it was the most filling, delicious meal I had ever had and that Pizza does not even come close to Lemon chicken and rice pilaf (for only 300 calories).
This reminded me of something my trainer Maya once told me.....
"Nothing tastes as good as being skinny feels"
So another small victory in the battle against my inner fat kid.

I do catch myself looking at recipes on Pinterest, or watching commercials on TV and thinking about cheating. I hope that instead of cheating I am actually building up a tolerance to the food I see. That one day It won't affect me as much.

GYM
30 min Bike random hills level 10
pushups, crunches, lunges

Food
3 egg whites, turkey Sausage, shredded cheese
yogurt
Lemon Chicken Lean Cuisine
Carrots, Celery
Chicken Fajitas with non fat sour cream, and low carb tortillas

Day 13: 21 days of Hell

Today I read that if you start a new habit it takes 21 days before it becomes an official habit. This apparently is when your body accepts this new habit as a part of your day and stops thinking of it as a chore. So I can do anything for 21 days right? This gives me hope that in 8 days It will be second nature to eat the lunch I brought with me instead of staring lovingly (and drooling) at the McDonald's across the street. My cravings are decreasing, they are still there but they have gone from a screaming, headache causing monkey on my back to a slight tap on the shoulder.
I discovered that the level of disgusting at my job affects how hungry I am.... I will spare you the details but my first call today was a code brown and I didn't eat lunch until almost one. Yesterday I sat in a parking lot watching law and order and I was starving by 11:30.
I am also finding joy in small victories, such as walking away from a FREE donut or staying out of the EMS rooms at hospitals.

food diary
Cheerios with milk
Turkey roll ups with mozzarella low skim
Lean cuisine
Carrots celery
Yogurt
Salad
Grilled chicken

Gym diary(I haven't gone yet but this is the plan)
45 min run 6mph
Lunges, squats, crunches, push ups, dips

Day 12: Running even when there isn't somebody chasing you

I am not a huge fan of exercise, I've learned to enjoy it more than I used to but its still hard for me to get up at 4:30am before work and get my butt to the gym. I try and do 30-45 minutes of cardio a day and some lunges, squats, pushuos, dips, and crunches. I have been pretty lazy about going to the gym lately so its time to get back into running. I have chosen 3 races in the next couple of months to help get me motivated and to have set goals. The first race is a obstacle course called the dirty six. Its six miles of running with obstacles in between
Luckily I have my husband and a few friends to run the race with. Then in December and January we have the PF Changs half marathon. We did it last year and I ran it in 2:35. This year I would like to be under 2 hours. So with these goals in mind I will be in the gym 5-6 days a week or out hiking.

Part of blog will also now include my gym diary along with my food diary :)

Food Diary
Breakfast sandwhich(1 egg cooked in cooking spray, 1 slice cheese, 1 sandwhich thin) 230 cal
Yogurt 80 cal
Lean cuisine
Carrots and celery
Salad
Dinner is yet to be decided but ground turkey cooked someway

Gym Diary
3 mile run 32 min
Lunges and cruches

Day 11: 1 Day at a Time...

So one day at a time...one day of saying no to fast food...one day of watching my husband enjoy a new Belgium beer..another freaking day of Salad :)

I really do like salad, I just prefer it with cheese, croutons, and tossed in dressing. However its not a good way to start my new food life by trying to convince my metabolism that because my meal has green stuff in it that it should burn it immediately and don't worry about hanging onto it or storing it in my awesome Muffin Top(My metabolism sees right through these lies). Trying to take what I have always known and turn it into something healthy is very hard for me. Salad with low cal dressing on the side, chicken grilled with cooking spray instead of pan fried, brown rice, egg whites, etc barf etc. I am learning that we can find food that we both enjoy without sacrificing taste. Tonight we had Chicken Shwarmas with a recipe from CookingLight.com they tasted great and I was able to make them in less than 30 min, and under 400 calories for a filling dinner. An average night for us would probably include going out or me throwing some burgers together. We are buying different stuff to stock in our fridge. Ground Beef has been swapped for lean Ground Turkey, Chicken has been put in Ziploc bags to be pulled out one at a time ( we are also sharing 1 breast). So the new life is on the right track...My inner fat kid is still there and still screaming for a twinkie but I can usually shut him up with a carrot stick.

Food Diary
1 cup cheerios, 1/2 cup 1% milk
Yogurt
2 slices turkey
Lean Cuisine
Salad, 1tbls low cal balsamic dressing
carrots, celery
Chicken Shwarma with tahini sauce

Day 10: obsessed

ok so its day 10, I have lost 3 lbs, headaches are decreasing, and my body is starting to finally adjust to the new ways. However I discovered that I am now obsessed with the thought of food
I think about what kind of food I would eat without restrictions. Im sure I am driving scott nuts with my talks about mcdonalds breakfast, filibertos lunch, and barros dinner( or some variation of that kind). As I eat my satisfying and tasty CELERY, I imagine its a burger or pizza and wings complete with a side of ranch dressing. Not sure if this is entirely normal or healthy for that matter but what can you do... I already ate all of those things and more so when my body needs a little extra kick I like to think its taking some filibs stored in my very large ass.

Another problem i've run into is when i'm dragging ass(like this morning) what are my options for some energy? I have sworn off soda and coffee, im also trying to stay away from ice tea. I want something thats not completely horrible for me such as monster or rockstar energy drinks . Today I gave in and had a sugarfree redbull but I want a different option. Xience makes me sick to my stomach so thats out...any ideas are welcome

Food Diary
Oatmeal, water
Yogurt
Lean cuisine
Carrots, celery
Cheese turkey slices
Dinner is unknown :) going to my sisters house!

Day 9: weekend warrior

Ah the weekend...time for relaxing at home, going to see a movie, or hanging out with friends. Also the time I usually do the most damage in the food catagory. Even worse I got paid yesterday so I have time and money...not a good combo. Its hard to keep a routine on weekends, normally I eat at 6:45, 9, 12, 2, & 7:30. Today I ate at 10:30, 12(snack), & 3... Not the best times, I was ready for a binge when 3pm rolled around. We went out eat and split a turkey sandwhich and a salad. Not terrible but if I had kept on my schedule I probably could have done better. Still no alcohol (woohoo) and no fast food. We also tried a new clean eating recipe that turned out pretty darn good, scott says it has repeat potential. I will post it next week, its a great saturday/ sunday morning breakfast.

One of the things that has been hard about starting this new food life is how to feed my husband too. I dont like forcing him to eat what I eat but im also not a short order cook and this isnt a restaurant :) luckily he just likes food in general and will eat whatever I give him. he usually gets a much larger portion size and that seems to work for us.
This will also hopefully get us on the habit of cooking differently, I want to be able to teach our kids how to make healthy meals and pass on a love of food with out the obsession.


Food Diary

Cheesecake stuffed french toast casserole(yes its healthy, I promise only 285cal per serving. I will put the recipe up this week)
V8 low sodium
1/2 turkey hoagie, salad
Left over taco skillet :)

Ground Turkey Taco Skillet

ok I said I would add a new healthy recipe every week and rate it on cost, calorie content, and taste ... I found this recipe in womens health magazine. We enjoyed it and it was super easy to make, its a great dinner to make if you dont have alot of time. I had all of the ingredients already in the house. Its fairly cheap which also makes it a great dinner option for us newlyweds :)

1 lb extra lean ground turkey
2 cups pre cooked instant brown rice
1 cup salsa
11oz can mexican style corn
1 pkg low salt taco seasoning
Shredded cheese
Sour cream
Lettuce
Tomato


Brown ground turkey in large skillet, add taco seasoning. Once the meat is cooked add in rice, corn and salsa. Allow food to cook for 5-10 min mixing everything together. Top with lettuce tomato, cheese, and sour cream. Eat with baked tortilla chips, tortillas, or just by itself.
Enjoy!

Day 7/8 : food is fuel not a reward

Well today I am having an especially hard time not cheating, I want everything bad for me, a hamburger, pizza, and beer. I am trying to keep in my head that using food as a reward will not help me to gain control over my eating habits. My inner fat kid is screaming for anything unhealthy. Its like a drug addict trying to manipulate an enabler into giving more money or booze and drugs. "you deserve this, you've worked hard for this, you already lost weight" so far I have been good but today is hard...im ready to punch my inner fat kid in the face

Its a fight I have always had with myself. so I keep repeating my new mantra...
FOOD IS FUEL NOT A REWARD (always makes me think of finding nemo, fish are friends not food!)

Food diary
Day 6
1 cup cheerios, 1 cup milk
V8 fusion
Yougurt
Lean cuisine
Cheese, lean turkey, triscuits
Ground turkey taco skillet

Day 7:
Ground turkey egg white sandwhich, v8
Carrots, celery
Lean cuisine
Salad
Chicken, brocolli