Wednesday, March 19, 2014

Baked Goods.

So I started a new job last week, I was offered a great opportunity and I jumped at it. I still miss my coworkers but I know that I have made the right decision for my family and I. Starting a new job can be a little stressful. Well actually it can be a lot stressful. Stress shot through the roof about a month ago as I A: waited not so patiently to hear back from company B. 
B: put in my two weeks at company A.
C: started to learn a new and terrifyingly awesome new job. 
I have been at company B for just over a week now and when I left company A I really thought 
"wow, this should help me lose a few extra lbs, no more pot lucks or daily catered lunches!" 
well, there haven't been any poftlucks, or daily catered lunches. 

here is the run down of positives and negatives as they relate to the fat kid. 
(because, lets be honest. He is the one running this joint)

Positives:
Stairs. 
Yep, lots of stairs. The office that I share with my coworkers is up a flight of stairs. So any time I have to go pee (which is a lot), I go down and back up the stairs. If I want to grab something to eat or drink, I have go down and back up the stairs. If I want some fresh air, I have to go down and back up the GD stairs. 
The upside to this is I am far away from the kitchen. Bad part is I drink A LOT of water and the pee pee dance is really awkward to do while running down a steep flight of stairs. 
I also think of this image every time I get to the bottom of those bastards, look up and think
 "I should run this"

I am really busy. 
Not that I wasn't busy at my old job but jesus, there is a lot of food that goes on planes! 
I am also starting at step 1 so in the time it would take me to run down stairs, steal a donut and get back I would have missed 87 new things that I need to know. 

Theresa.
My boss is pretty cool (and I am not just saying that because she reads this), I have known her since I was born and she knows the complexities of the fat kid. She reigns me in and tell me no and smacks me on the nose with a newspaper when I get that gleam in my eye that says DONUT! 
(she doesn't really hit me, calm down!)

Proximity to Fast Food. 
There is nothing around. Nothing, Nada. I have to make my lunch and snacks every day or I don't eat
Also nothing is open on my way into work (5am) so I have to make my breakfast before I leave. 

Negatives:
Baked Goods
Every Friday the magic baked good fairy drops off a bucket load of every breakfast baked good you can imagine. Last week alone we had fresh chompies bagels, donuts, blueberry scones, orange cranberry scones, chocolate croissants,  fresh baked bread, and english muffins. 
I am not that strong. 

Catered Lunches. 
Our weekly meeting is catered. Last week was Oreganos, this week is BBQ Company.
Need I say more?

Menus. 
Most of my day is spent looking at menus. All sorts of food and snacks... I stared at the word risotto so much last week that I started to have a Pavlovian response to the word. 
This weeks craving is Shrimp. 

Did I mention the baked goods?


So the fat kid is faced with a new struggle but this keeps it new and interesting as I face off with him over cream cheese.  Lots of carrots, lots of chicken, lots of veggies, lots of water, lots of kale, lots of trips to the bathroom (because of the water, not the kale. Gross.)



Wednesday, March 12, 2014

tacos.

Sometimes your most difficult run can be your best run. Not in a "I just crushed that and PR'd" kind of way but in a "thank god I didn't die and that shit is over" kind of way. When you have a shitty run it feels that much better when you get home and it adds a little bit of pride to your day to know that no matter the level of suckiness, you finished that bastard and made it home alive. Yes, I know that seems a little dramatic but I still have the black lung cough and I am slightly nauseous so I am feeling a little dramatic.  
I knew it around .75 miles that this was not going to be my best run, mostly because I was already walking...and thinking about tacos. 
actually I am still thinking about tacos. 
But I finished the run and today that is the victory, not my time, not my effort level. Just finishing. 
It's ok to have those days, sometimes you need to have those to remind yourself that you can do it. To remind yourself that no matter how bad it sucked, you finished. If you can finish a shitty run then you can get through a bad day and still get to the gym. If you can finish a shitty run then you can eat a taco. If you can finish a shitty run then you can rule the freakin world. 
Actually that last statement probably isn't true, I think I am more dehydrated than I originally thought. 

here is a taco gif 

taco7

Wednesday, March 5, 2014

The holy cheesus

Potlucks.
I am convinced they are the main reason behind corporate americas weight gain, well that and sitting in a chair for 8+ hours a day.
Today is my last day at my current job and in honor of me leaving they decided to have a potluck, a mexican food themed pot luck. So here I am sitting around, nothing really to do because my stuff has been shuffled off in preperation for my departure with a couple gallons of melted cheese and beans next to me. Trying to eat in moderation and stay within my boundaries is very, very, very hard.
I really like melted cheese, I am one of the people that had a mini anxiety attack when velveta had a shortage before the superbowl. I also really like beans, and homemade tortillas, and all the other good stuff that was made for ME!
I can't even fathom how many miles I will need to run tonight, tomorrow morning, and again tomorrow night. Its a good thing I took a few days off to prepare for my new job. I can spend my free time in the gym cursing the stairmaster.
So wish me luck,I will say a prayer to the holy cheesus for strength.
 


Tuesday, March 4, 2014

Running is a four letter word

I realize it't not actually a four letter word but it's in that category. The thing about running is to get better at it you actually have to run. You can read all the books you want, study the theories, wear the best shoes, and own the best high performance spandex, but if you don't get out there and put your feet on the pavement you won't get any better. I want to eat pizza, drink beer, and be a 7 minute miler but unfortunately those don't go together. So I have to learn to be uncomfortable again. 
I have run the last three days and I know you are thinking " whoa calm down there Forrest!" but it's something right? that's what the chub rub under my arms and the funny side step/fall down the stairs that I have been doing the last few days are telling me. I have been trying to get my mile times down and my muscles or lack there of are protesting big time. I have found that the best way for me to get my mile times down is to run /walk. I run at at very fast pace and then walk for 1-30 seconds to catch my breath. There is absolutely no science behind this or any set times. I run until I think fuuudge this sucks, maybe I can make it to that next intersection without throwing myself into oncoming traffic and then I walk through the intersection, milk the intersection a few more feet and then talk my screaming calves into ramping back up. I also spend an inordinate amount of time thinking about bacon. 

Running also involves a pretty sterling diet, at least until you get into the 15+ miles range and then its pizza time. For me this involves, lots of proteins, some carbs (I am picky about what kind), and lots and lots of water. This sucks but throwing up on a run sucks even more. The better you eat, the better your runs, and the better you feel. Do you see what a vicious cycle it is? ugh. 
I just keep up my mantra 
" you are wearing fat pants, your sweat smells like bacon, and sweat pants are your go to outfit" 
that usually makes me snap back to reality and reminds me that I am not in fact a bad ass but more of a fat ass. 
Before you get offended by that remember that I can finish an entire pizza by myself in under 10 minutes. Try to argue... me and my sweatpants dare you. 
(side note, Scott I am really sorry. I am sure this is not a sexy picture I am painting)
(side, side note... sorry to my family and mostly my dad for using the word "sexy")
 yep. lets end there. 

goodnight




Sunday, March 2, 2014

Smooooothie time

Coffee, frozen bananas and almond milk...hell yeah I did.
Caffeine is in the system, time to start prepping food!

Saturday, March 1, 2014

Fat pants

It's funny how one little statement can set you on a completely different journey. Two years ago I said screw this overweight shit. I am done being unhealthy, I am done getting tired while walking upstairs. I am just done. I lost 30 lbs, gained it all back, lost 10, gained that all back, and now I have lost 2. I have run 3-5ks, 1-10k. 1-15k, 4-1/2 marathons, 1 full marathon, 4 mud runs, and 1 triathlon. But I settled into this grove of eat what I want, don't train, and then get confused when the scale doesn't tell you what you want to hear. It is defeating. I am back in this never ending circle, I thought I had jumped off that train but I found myself back at the same place. Unfortunately I have nobody to blame but myself, I didn't stick to the change and I let myself get away with it. 


So back at square one. Back in pants that don't fit, back into feeling uncomfortable, back to where I never wanted to be again. What do you do when you hit the bottom again? How do you find the inspiration to get back on track? 

Well if you are me you sign up for a couple races that scare the ever living shit out of you. In the next 6 months I have agreed to run 2-1/2 marathons, 2 triathlons (sprint & olympic), and I have filled my fridge with more vegetables and meat than is considered appropriate. I have to do this. I am so completely and utterly tired of being uncomfortable, sad, and ashamed of my body. Please let me make sure that everyone understands this is not me trying to play the sympathy card. I am not looking for the "oh stop it, you look fine" or the " you are beatiful no matter your size" or anything along those lines. Doing so will result in me giving you this look 


So don't mind my crankiness, I am trying to find that in shape girl that I was for a fleeting moment so I can beg her to come back. I also really, really, really, want to throw away my fat jeans. sigh...

What Do We Want? Almond Milk and Kale!... Wait. What?

I have been pretty vocal about my feelings on hippie food. I am a pizza a beer kinda girl which is probably why my pants don't fit but that's another topic for another day. I have tried to stay focused on the basics when it comes to food and eating healthy. Protein, veggies, few to no heavy starches or carbs.... simple right? Very lacking in hippie shit, correct? Well, I have apparently lost the battle. I came home the other night and started digging through the fridge to see what I could make for dinner, as I was pushing stuff around, throwing recipe ideas around, asking Scott for his input, blah, blah...I had a moment. I froze and took a good hard look at what was in my fridge, at the same time I had Kale, Almond Milk, and Quinoa. These are the cornerstones of hippie-ism. I had become a hippie without even realizing it. The worst part is, I enjoy this food! I enjoy shopping at sprouts! I even made my own hummus. We might as well move back to Flagstaff!!

I felt like I needed to go eat a bacon burger just to make myself feel better; or go shop at wal-mart in my pj's. Something to bring me back to the comforts of what I know. I guess it's time to give up the fight, accept my new status of a proud sprouts shopper and go on my merry way.