confession

I stayed strong yesterday...

I didn't today...

Monkey bread was my downfall and I am pretty upset. Its just a brown sugar  bump in the road that I have to get over but I am still upset that I didnt listen to myself and I just ate it anyways.

I wanted to go back for more but I called Heather instead, she held me to my word and is going to shame me on facebook.

So not worth it...

But I will not let one slip up destroy an entire day...

I had egg whites with cheese and turkey bacon for breakfast, carrots and apples for snacks, and chicken and veggies for lunch.

Looks like I get in an extra long bike ride and dry salad for dinner... not as a punishment but to set my mind right again.

M'er. F'er.

Bah. Humbug

Post race I decided to have a serious thinking session with myself, I evaluated my food decisions, my work out decisions and how I wanted to improve both. I told myself that it was time to get serious and put my nose to the grind...

Today is day 1 of that... and people always talk about god testing you and that he won't give you anthing you are not capable of defeating. Well... real funny, God. Very nicely played sir....

I walked into work all proud of myself, I had my egg whites, turkey bacon, turkey burgers, steamed veggies, carrots for snacking and an emergency apple and hard boiled egg in case I was reallllly hungry.

Then I came to my desk...

                                                                     First Test

 

Mind you... Heather forgot her phone and Scott is slammed at work so I am without my regular support team

 

Second test

Brownies and Banana Bread

 

Third Test

Fairy Tale Brownies

 

Its only 10 am and I am shaking like a heroin addict.

 

this was me

 

 

 

This. Is. ANTHEM.

I am officially a Triathlete.

That is not a sentence I thought I would ever say, I thought maybe... I am officially going to go take a nap, or I am officially ordering a pizza (pepperoni, sausage, double cheese, none of that veggie BS)
But I did it, I survived and even kind of enjoyed it.

I was fine all morning, no real stress...ok, that's not true, there was stress bubbling under the surface that manifested itself into me snapping at Scott when my bike fell over. Logical? no. Useful? Absolutely not. But I apologized and we moved on. After that I just kind of walked around and observed the goings on of an cold morning Triathlon. There is nothing quite like the smell of Sharpie markers (body marking), chlorine, and sweat to get you amped up.

Then it was time to go, we lined up according to swim time and got ready to go. I am a decent swimmer and when I had timed myself in the pool (by myself, fairly hard pace) I swam the 400 meters in about 6:15. So when I went to get in line I proudly stood underneath the 7 minute sign. I was feeling pretty damn confident under my 7 minute sign and then I realized I was  A. towards the front  B. surrounded by actual triathletes, including UofA's tricats and C. about to shit my suit.
We started moving up as the athletes jumped in the pool one by one, 15 seconds apart. The next thing I knew a large man was counting down in my ear.... 3... 2....1.... GO!
I jumped in the pool, lost my footing and tried to frog leg my way into some momentum. Not my most graceful moment but I was more impressed with not pooping myself. I went through the 1st set up laps pretty quick and even managed to pass a few people, I slowed down on round 2 so I could catch my breath and start thinking about getting out and on the bike. I finished the swim in 8:11 and was on the bike shortly after that... well, after an episode trying to get dressed which is better described with a gif....



That is Jim Carrey climbing out of a fake rhinos ass.... that is also how I looked trying to pull sports bra/spandex on over a wet swimsuit.

The  bike portion was fairly uneventful... The course is full of hills so I was sucking air and giving constant pep talks to my butt and quads. I made it off the bike (including both transitions) in just under an hour, then I was off and onto the run portion. Now, I have run an indecent number of miles in the past year so I was not overly worried about this part (I should have been). This part was also full of fun hills, including a 1.5 mile climb to the anthem community center. I had my slowest run ever and finished in 40 minutes... that's what I get for being overly confident!

My final time was 1:47 and I am pretty happy with that. If I had to do it all over again I would train harder on the run and bike and do more brick workouts.

THIS. IS. ANTHEM.



(that's me kicking the race in the face!)

Oh yeah... I finished with an embarrassing amount of pizza  :)

Swim, Bike, Run, Eat.

Well tomorrow is my first triathlon. I am not sure how I feel about it... I am definitely excited, definitely nervous, a little bit nauseous (I ate A LOT of hummus at dinner) , and a little unsure of myself. Up until this point and all during training I never really thought about getting nervous, this is a good/bad habit of mine.  For example... I don't get nervous during training which allows me to train without too much mental stress, but that also means that I don't always push myself as hard or as far as I could. I also have a habit of freaking out the week of my races... not the 6 months or however long my training program is before but the week of I always end up having an "oh.shit." moment. That glorious moment usually goes something like this...

Inner fat kid: la la la, this pizza and beer is delicious, la la la

Skinny voice of reason: You should probably eat a salad  (that is all that bitch complains about)

Me: I feel like I have something going this week... eh... oh well, it will come to me

Inner fat kid: pizza, good. beer, good. nap time, good.

Skinny voice of reason: You should probably go run... (such a debbie downer)

Me: TRIATHLON!!! I need to pack, I need to run, I need to bike, I need to swim, I need to throw up.

Inner fat kid: We got this... go take that nap we talked about earlier

Skinny voice of reason: Told you so.   (snarky bitch)

Me: crap.

Then I make 8 million lists, leave them all at work and say screw it I will figure it out as I go. If I am not ready by now,  I am not going to be ready by tomorrow.

So I am going to jump into this with both feet, enjoy the hell out of myself and kick my own ass out on that course.

and eat pizza.
(after the race, not during)





Ps: I know I have a potty mouth, sorry if it is worse tonight. I am watching The Heat with Melissa McCarthy and Sandra Bullock as I type this... 

carrots...

Are merely an excuse to eat hummus. 

Deep Thoughts with Lauren Ellis

sigh.

I love my job, I love the people I work with, but this is why working for coporate america sucks....

I am just over here, eating my steamed veggies and turkey burger all while staring 2 boxes of Dunkin Donuts. I am not one of those people who thinks "gross, fried dough? Covered in high fructose corn syrup, fake flavoring, and cancer causing food coloring?" I think damn that is a good looking fried piece of dough and I want to eat it. I want to eat all of them. Cake, sugar, cinnamon, long johns, maple, chocolate, sprinkles... dear god. Sprinkles.

F*&%$#&%#@!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I.WANT.A. DONUT. (doughnut?)

No doughnut.

Turkey Burger and Steamed veggies.

Donut.

No donut.

I am not being productive at all...




 

Terrifyingly awesome.

 Today I kicked my own ass.

 I woke up ran 2 miles went to work,came home, swam 2000 meters and then finished up with a spin class. It it was one of the best spin classes I have ever been to even though I dragged my feet all the way there. I was tired, I was cranky and I just flat out didn't wanna be there. But sometimes you just need an ass kicking to turn your entire day around. I knew I was in for it when I heard the instructor say that it was going to be a metallica kind of day. During the class she played metallica, disturbed, pink, and acdc. We were up, we were down, we were sprinting and before I knew I was having a blast. It turned my entire day around and it was terrifyingly awesome. The instructor told us if you don't feel like you're going to throw up you're not doing it right. she even made a "that's what she said" joke and I knew that if is possible to love a spawn of satan spin instructor, I had fallen hard. This really shows the importance of what a good workout can do. It can turn your entire day around put you in a better mood and even be a therapy session that you didn't know you needed. The next time your having a shitty day and the last thing you want to do is work out, go to the gym anyways! Run, bike, lift until you forget what you were mad about, sad about, or cranky about, blast music and let the world fall to the wayside because it will always be there when you get back.

I wish all this working out and spin class moments of enlightenment meant I get pizza but alas my skinny voice of reason put the fat kind in a headlock and cooked up a delicious dinner of pork chops (grilled not fried), sweet potatoes (roasted and not covered in marshmallows,sigh), zucchini (roasted with garlic and onion) and a corn bread muffin (fat kid snuck that one in while the skinny voice pretended to look away).