Tuesday, November 22, 2016

Race Report: Ironman Arizona 140.Freaking6

I wanted to use another word for Freaking
You're welcome Dad. 

I am an Ironman
I have joined the ranks of crazy bastards who swim 2.4 miles, bike 112 miles, and run 26.2 miles
Ya'll are a bunch of nut-bags
and I am so happy to be here

It was such a long day (16+ hrs) but it seemed to go by in a blur
Friday afternoon I got off work and headed down to check in
I was so stressed and anxious that I almost had a melt down right there in the beach park
I pulled myself together enough to nod along and pretend I was listening to the very nice volunteers explaining to me where to sign my life away, where to put my stickers and I tried not to think of the bracelet as a handcuff. 
Once I was checked in I headed to the swag tent.
because....swag. 
We wandered around a bit and then headed home. 
Once we were home I started panicking again. 
It was 4pm, I still needed to pack, swim, seat, and go shopping
Luckily Scott saw the panic in my eyes, took my shopping list and went to grab my extra supplies and grab dinner while I got my last swim in
We packed my bags, unpacked them, repacked them and then I made myself leave the Tri-room and attempt to relax (aka: eat a bean burrito laced with xanax)
Before I knew it, it was Saturday morning... how in the almighty fuck did that happen?
why is time NOT slowing down
I am not ready 
I didn't train hard enough
I could have pushed myself harder
I could have... I should have... 
Then I told myself to cram it
Image result for i panicked but then i handled it
I checked my bike and bags in, talked with friends and went home to eat my way through the pita jungle menu and put my feet up. 

I woke up at 3:30 Sunday morning, oddly calm. 
I had laid everything out 
(or so I thought....foreshadowing)
so I just needed to make my breakfast, coffee and get into the truck for the ride down
We beat the traffic down and my anxiety went down even more
before I knew it I was lining up with 3000 of my closest friends
I placed myself with the 1:20 group and waited not so patiently for the gun to go off
I knew once I was in the water and moving the anxiety would go away and I could do the job I had come out to do
The male pro's went off, followed by the womens then they started letting us age groupers in the water
It was a rolling swim start so once you are the water your chip starts timing
This was my first non- age group all female wave swim
let me tell you something... 
men swim like drowning bears
Image result for bad swimmer cartoon
they throw fists, they climb over you, push you and they pissed me the hell off
I think I swam faster just because I had to keep kicking them off my feet
I came out of the water at 1:24 
this was right in my goal time so I was pretty damn happy
Scott was a volunteer and managed to make it to the wetsuit stripping and he helped me out of my 
suit and ran off to grab my bags
Once I had my bags I ran into T1 to another smiling face Mrs. Amy
I warned her about what she was about to see and started stripping
I did FULL costume changes in each transition so I could be as comfortable as possible through out the day.
I wanted padded bike shorts for my ride, my comfy running shorts and a clean dry shirt for my run
once I was out of T1, I grabbed my bike from Scott and ran out
Once I was on my bike it started to settle in that I needed to bike 112 miles, 3 loops on the beeline. 
I had not managed to make it past 80 miles in my training so this was going to be my longest ride ever. 
(Apparently I dipped into the Beardedginja/Tdds training program)
Loop 1 felt great, I made it to the turn around in 1:23 and I had very little knee pain. 
The weather couldn't have been better, 70's and overcast
I headed back down to Rio cruising at 24 mph and finished the first loop in 2:20
As I started back up the hill for the 2nd loop I started to feel the dreaded knee pain that had knocked me down flat the last 2 weeks of training. 
I prayed to whatever gods had gotten my liver through college and downed more Ibuprofen 
I trudged up the GD hill to shea for the 2nd time but this time I had to stop to stretch my quad, my back, and I made it to special needs (another cameo from team TDDS)
They helped me unpack mybags and they held my bike so I could sit on the ground and stretch some more. 
I am pretty sure I got off my bike more that any other person on that course
thats how it felt anyways. 
I had actually stayed on top of my water intake and I was polishing off 4 bottles per loop
which is great news for my liver and kidneys
not so great for the 87 bathroom breaks I had to take
I also forgot my first set of base salt and nuun so I had to wait until I made it to special needs for my extras, then at some point those fell out of my jersey. 
So water it is!
I tried a gatorade and it was awful, way too much sugar for me. 
I also at one point thought I had left my uncrustables (which I had already left at home but luckily Mark ran to the store on his way in for me) in T1... Scott and Mark pointed out that they were in fact just in the back pockets of my jersey. 
DOH!
I had gone 2 laps on just two burgers and as many lara bar bites as I could shove in my mouth
I felt better on loop 3 than I did on 2
I made it up to shea in decent time
Scott and Mark were there waiting for me so I got off  my bike for a few minutes
re-lubed... found a chafed spot courtesy of the lube
tried not to cry
went to put some vaseline on my wind burned lips and thankfully Scott reminded me to switch hands
Do not lube and put chapstick on with the same hand
Also don't put biofreeze on first then use the same hand to re-lune
just trust me on that one. 
Downhill on loop 3 was rough, I was going into the wind, I was tired and I wanted to un-wedge the bike seat from my ass. 
I only managed 18mph on the downhills and maybe 12mph on the flats 
Finally I came into T2
its pretty awesome to come in with your family and friends screaming for you
Scott was at t2 and grabbed my bags for me and I went back into the land of naked stinky women
one more costume change, some water and I was out on the run course
now I had not really thought too much about the run during my training
I was much more concerned with my ability to ride 112 miles in my allotted time
as I stepped out of the tent it hit me that I still had to run 26.2 miles
As I started loop 1 I passed Sasha headed out on loop 2
by the 2nd aid station I had to pee AGAIN
damn you tiny bladder 
luckily Stacey was there to get a picture! 
but guess what? I didn't poop my pants
#winning
loop 1 was pretty uneventful
I was running more than I had anticipated and Scott joined me for a good portion of the run to keep me company
as I came into mile 13 I hit a wall
A hard, immovable my feet hurt, I am tired, is this over yet... wall
Scott kept walking with me, he told me I had to keep a sub 18 min mile to finish in time
that kind of pissed me off 
I am not an 18 min mile person
I am not a fast runner but I am not a walker
I am stubborn and I am not going to take that route just because it would be easier on me
I grabbed my bean burrito at special needs
I let my dark thoughts fester for 2 miles
As I came back under the bridge Scott, Mark, and Jen walked with me for a bit
I had a scowl on my face and I was hurting
I decided then that it was going to hurt either way. 
I started running
my knee was screaming
I gritted my teeth and kept going
I ran  20 of the concrete slabs in the side walk then walked 5
all of a sudden I was running a 12 min mile and cruising towards Mill ave
the look on Scotts face as I came under the bridge told me I was making good time
I got a Holy Shit woman, you are doing 12 min miles from Amy
I had a smile back on my face
I may be slow
I may need to walk
but I am stubborn as fuck. I would give a mule a run for its money
I made my way up curry where I ran into Scott, mark and Jen again
Scott told me to slow down so I didn't hurt myself
I smiled to myself and told him its a good day to die 
Image result for prefontaine quotes 

I had to walk some more as I approached mile 25 
mile 26 I got a big ass grin on my face
This has to be what it feels like to be a pro athlete
people on either side of the chute screaming your name, high fiving you, crying for you
then you hear it... 
Mike Reilly the voice of Ironman says
LAUREN ELLIS YOU ARE AN IRONMAN!
fist pump
fist pump 
run to Scott who some how has womens race winner taking our picture as he places the medal aroundmy neck and gives me a big kiss and hug. 
I am an Ironman
the finish line is a blur
there were lots of pictures
We even got a picture with Meredith Kessler !
a volunteer grabbed me by the shoulders (they don't trust you to walk on your own) took my timing chip, handed me my hat and shirt and directed me to the pizza tent
16+ hrs all to have people bring me pizza and take my shoes off for me
I am beyond proud of myself 
it took a lot to get me to this point
Thank you to Scott who was my husband, sherpa, best friend, shoulder to cry on, xanax feeder, chef, housekeeper, landscaper, and the best volunteer out there
thank you to team TDDS. You all made me smile and laugh every day. You made training so much better. 
Thank you to my Coach Frank Sole, you believed in me and pushed me and I will forever be thankful. (lets talk more about that sub 6:30-70.3 this time next year)
thank you to all the volunteers especially, Amy, Julie, Steve, Christy, Stacey, Zachary, Scott, Mark, Mandy
Our Cheering squad, Gotta Run, My parents, Anthony, Theresa, My In-laws (parents, and brothers), TDDS, Heather (even with your evil music), my nieces and nephews, Sarah, all the random strangers 
thank you Ironman for putting on great race
maybe some more TP and the late night aid stations
although yelling from a porta potty to volunteers while my pants are down and my quads are frozen so I can't move any where is pretty funny
( now... not funny then)
Thank you to the lady who made sure she was far enough in front of me before she stood up and peed on her bike
Thank you to the athletes who took the time to say hi, ask my name, and ask how I am doing
Just thank you.

I am sorry if I forgot anyone
I really couldn't do it without any of you
I am sticking to my word and I am taking a year off from racing
I need to focus on being a better Lauren, a wife, a friend, dog mom, and horsewoman. 
  maybe that barrel racing horse is in my future... ha! 
I may not have pooped my pants but there is a chance Scott just did 








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