Friday, November 11, 2016

Race Day Lists

This is the biggest race of my life
(to date)
I have struggled to get to this point
I have run countless miles
Biked all over this damn city
Swam enough laps to make this self-proclaimed fish want to stay on land
It’s almost here
I want to vomit
Just puke up all my nerves and anxiety
I am starting to make packing lists
(1. Bike)
Grocery lists
(1. No Kale)
To do lists
(1. stop panicking)
Not to do lists
(1. poop my pants, see grocery list above)
My lists have lists
Lists are crucial
When we were driving through the bike course at Vineman, we passed a guy yelling at random cars for bike cleats
He was riding a very nice Tri bike, in a very nice jersey with Vans on
I don’t want to be that guy
Please don’t let me be that guy
Although I would rather be that person vs the pooping their pants person
Maybe my  lists need a redo…
Maybe they need to be simplified
And not in excel format… scheduled down to the minute.
New, Simple, Ironman, no pooping pants list:
Grocery shopping:
Anything that doesn’t include marinara
All I need is wicked heartburn for 140 miles
Packing list:
Bike
Cleats
Lube
Clothes
Goggles
Wetsuit
Lube
Running shoes
Bib
Anything else is just gravy.
To Do:
Relax, take a Xanax
Maybe a beer
Eat
Drink your water
Get some sleep
Don’t do:
Panic
Watch the weather channel religiously
Pop a Xanax into your beer
Stare at the ceiling fan when you should be sleeping and imagine all the horrific ways this could end
Vomit
Cry
Cry while vomiting
Poop your pants
Any combination of the above


No comments: