Therapy for the fat kid.

Ok so for the past week or so I have been mad and not just mad, extremely pissed off. It of course has to do with food, for whatever reason this week has just made me mad. I WANT to eat bad food, I WANT to be skinny, I WANT to be healthy, and I WANT it to just be freakin EASY. I know how childish I sound but that doesn't stop me from wanting to scream, cry, and stomp my foot on the ground. I have all these emotions running through me like a hormonal roller coaster and even though I know they are childish, and wrong I have them anyways. So excuse me while I bitch and moan for a few sentences. Its not fair (yes I am aware of how lame that sounds). Every time I see a skinny girl whine about how fat she is as she slides into her (GASP) size 4 jeans, I want to punch her in the face/cry. I worked with a girl the other day who said that she eats taco bell every meal!! Of course she is tall and skinny. A small but evil part of me is thinking well at least I know she will have clogged arteries. Its frustrating, If I even look at a taco the wrong way my butt starts to expand. I wish it was easy, I wish I didn't enjoy bad, fatty, greasy food so much, I wish I could enjoy exercise more, and I thought that egg whites were the greatest food on the planet. So this week I didn't say no, I didn't think about my clogged arteries, I didn't think about what I was doing to my blood sugar. Now I regret it, its like having buyers remorse. I wish I could take back the Italian sausage sandwich with fries, or the cookie pie but that's called bulimia and I'm pretty sure its frowned upon.

Well that was actually kinda therapeutic (sorry for the whining fest)

Thank you all for being there for me and believing in me, you have no idea how much it means to me and my cholesterol levels. I will be better about blogging more, I know I have been slacking lately.

Food Diary
2 soft boiled eggs, 1 bagel thin
steak sandwich, sirloin steak 4oz, pesto, light mayo 1tbls, 1/2 roasted red pepper, 1sl skim mozz, 1 sandwich thin
sugar free jello
lean cuisine
coffee, coffee, and more coffee