Sunday, April 14, 2013

the benefits of locking kids in cages

I am a big believer in living life to the fullest. Drink wine, eat red meat, and just generally do what makes you happy(unless it involves murder or watching toddlers in tiaras). I have an inner fat kid so I have too watch myself and keep him on a short leash but every now and then you just have to let the leash go and hope for the best.

I let the fat kid out this weekend and he came to the party dressed in cut off jean shorts, an 'merican flag tshirt, a beer in one hand,  a turkey leg in the other and a fanny pack filed with donuts. The fat kid was ready to party and party we did. Beer was consumed in mass quanities, and the food.. sweet baby jesus, the food. It was fair food on steroids, if it wasn't barbequed it was fried and if it wasn't fried it was wrapped in bacon. We had an amazing time but I will be on a steady diet of pepto, tums, and advil for the next couple of days.

This means we are now in the official marathon countdown and that means as soon as I leave country thunder it will be egg whites and chicken. I am not overly excited to shove the fat kid back in his cage but it has to be done. I will lock him in, wrap bungee cords around it and then padlock that sumabitch if I have to.

the standard picture, in honor of cages...

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