This morning I went for my first outside real run in almost 2 weeks, between life and being sick I managed to push training to the back burner. I made it to the gym but I found ways of avoiding the treadmill... I am sick... cough, cough, sniffle...I just can't breathe right yet.... I am still exausted... I need to make dinner... I have to feed the horses....I need to work on my taxes... Frozen is on. I could go on and on. Anyways, I decided that while I wasn't ready to run 8-9 miles, I could certainly lace up my asics, grab my mace, and get out on the road. Problem was I forgot one key item...Tissues. I have been sick for about a week now, I finally feel better but I still have a smokers cough and enough snot to float the titanic.
This may be a little late but just fyi this is going to be a gross post... snot, boogers, gaging... it has it all.
So. I forgot tissues.
I ran out the door with my blinking light (so people don't hit my with their cars), my music (So I can forget about running), my mace (so I can hurt any gangsters running loose on the mean streets of arrowhead at 5am). Ok so I forgot tissues, no big deal right? I have blown plenty of snot rockets in my time. Snot rockets are a part of any long distance runners, run. Don't get all high and mighty on me and act like you have never gone for a run in the cold and had to stop to blow one out or wipe the frozen snot off your face.
We all do it.
Well, because my body is producing enough snot to fill a football stadium I blew my first snot rocket about 1/4 mile in. No big deal, just blew it and moved on. Well by the end of my 1st mile it felt like I had done this about 87 times, I decided I would just keep running next time my nostrils filled up and everything would be fine.
Don't do this. It was a bad idea. I repeat... BAD. IDEA.
This next sentence may change how you feel about me.
I blew my snot rocket, kept running, it bounced off my shoulder, and hit me in the eye.
I will let that settle for a few moments... take your time... absorb it.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Nasty, right?
I didn't even know what to do, I just stood there in the middle of a neighborhood at 5am trying to get snot out of my eye and comprehend what in the hell had just happened.
SNOT. IN.MY.EYE.
Not only was it in my eye, I also had it hanging on my shoulder still.
(see above as to how much snot I am producing)
I know.
So I cleaned myself up, looked around to make sure nobody had seen the snot incident and kept running.
Only to follow it up with a 5 minute gagging episode.
Vomit doesn't bother me, seeing it, hearing it, doing it myself. I am ok on the vomit train however I have a slight problem when it comes to trying to get phlegm out of my throat. I can't do it. Every time I try I end of gagging and fighting the impeding spew.
Well after running a few more miles, my phlegm decided to fight back.
So there I am standing in a different part of the same neighborhood gagging, hacking, and walking around like a dog about to throw up as I try to get this god awful crud out of my chest. I know I had to look like a crazy person.
The good news is I managed to not mace myself, which was a legitimate worry when my husband bought me my travel size pink mace.
I think I will give my body a few more days before I try to do another long run.
No comments:
Post a Comment