Thursday, August 20, 2015

The Good, the Bad, and the Calf Sleeves

There seem to be some changes going on in this body, life, and soul of mine. 
Not all good
Not all bad
Just changing

My parts are rearranging themselves
Every spare ounce of muscle has gone to my quads,
 who will now be known as Thunder and Holy Shit is that a tumor??
(Arnold gets it)

Never before has this been more true
(the Oatmeal also gets me)

This is a blessing and a curse. 
These bad boys carry me across finish lines, around a track, up hills
Of course after all of that they act they have no clue what to do when I stand up from the toilet
Its also super cute when my quads fit in my "fat" jeans but nothing else does
Spandex and leggings it is! 

I also have shoulders fit for a linebacker
The calves of a professional stair runner 
The stomach of a professional beer drinker 
and a laundry basket that would bring tears to a garbage mans eyes. 

But enough about Pro's of the tri life. 

A funny thing has happened in the last 8 weeks, I have never been a sweaty person. 
I don't require a towel with every workout
I don't leave sweat outlines on the floor
I can forget deodorant and nobody will notice 
Well, I didn't use to anyways. 
Now?
Bring a parka. 
Welcome to the Splash Zone 
What the hell body??
I actual had sweat dripping from me today
I had so much sweat in fact that I managed to fling it from my upper body onto the bike handles. 
I looked around expecting some sweaty nasty MF'er to be on the bike next to me
and I was ready to be thoroughly disgusted. 
It is embarrassing to look around with angry face ready to rip some sweaty jerk a new one when you realize the guy next to you doesn't even have a sheen on him
YOU are the sweaty MF'er 
and YOU are grossing people out 
I hightailed it out of the gym, still pouring sweat like I had just jumped out of a pool. 

I promise there have been good changes too.
My endurance is waaaay up 
running is starting to be fun again 
I am starting to see improvements which keeps me going
I feel strong 
I can crack walnuts with my thighs 
I feel like I have started to get over the training hump
of course its about to increase again and I will probably just be a lump who runs, bikes, swims, sleeps, eats and grunts. 
Scott is starting to learn my grunts 
1 grunt: Bring me Food
2 grunts: you really think that's enough food?
3 grunts: just push the couch in front of the fridge
1/2 grunt: sleep
silence: I'm out on a run
I grunt + I throw the truck keys at him: take me to the running store or bike shop I want to look at stuff  I don't need and can't afford
Eye lashes fluttering, actual words, I have make up on, and I have showered? that loosely translates to "please buy me that bike jersey or those running shoes"

I am not the best company on weekends
I go to bed at 8 
I don't drink
 (But I might complain loudly about wanting a beer)
I wear calf sleeves when I do go out 
I will ask to swing by the running store so I can say hi to my friends and pick up more nutrition 
I also might fall asleep randomly


I wouldn't trade this for anything though. 


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