Taper Crazies

My name is Lauren, I am 5 days out from my 1st Half Ironman and I am in the throws in the 

Taper Crazies. 

I am obsessed with the weather

(Its going to be a high of 89, possible cloud coverage) 

I am a germaphobe 

(Cough, sneeze, wheeze, or start looking pale and I will hose your ass down with lysol)

I am obsessing over packing lists 

(studied, organized in my mind, promptly forget as soon as I get home)

I am obsessed with nutrition

(at least 1 week a year my body will be treated like a temple) 

(a temple craving pizza and beer) 

I want to sleep, and sleep, then sleep some more 

(But due to extenuating circumstances 

*cough, weather analyzing, eating, cough*

 I can't actually fall asleep) 

Anxiety is my middle name

every few minutes I remember that I am in fact swimming, biking, and running 70.3 miles on Sunday

then I think about folding up into the fetal position

I feel like there is a vise grip around my chest 

then I remember pizza at the finish line   the sense of accomplishment that comes with a finish line

I am questioning myself 

my training

every piece of food that was not lettuce 

every mile

every early morning workout

did I push myself hard enough?

Did I make the right choices?

Can I do this?

what if I get a flat tire

what if I forget to eat

what if I fall

What if

What if

What if

What if I forget to go to the bathroom

What if the wetsuit strippers can't get my wetsuit off and I am stuck in front of hundreds of people while some stranger repeatedly tries to yank me out of a rubber suit. 

I have to put on a wetsuit in front of people 

(please dear god let there be no cameras and lots of body glide) 

I can do this.
I can do this

Trust the training

Trust the process

have fun

Pizza

beer

Pizza

beer 

enjoy the moment

run for those who can't 

don't poop your pants. 

bring the body glide

lube the "chassis" before you leave the house 

fanny packs are cool 

spandex is cooler 

smile 

laugh

seriously don't poop your pants.