deep fried and crispy with a side of attention deficit disorder

In this journey of lean protein, less fat, and low calorie options I am having a hard time fixing my feelings towards food. My partner at work has been on diet since the start of summer to get ready for his wedding in October. He has lost 30+ lbs and has a self control that I will never have nor do I want. He admits that he now hates food, it causes too much stress and he hasn't lost weight the healthy way. We talk about our struggles almost everyday and its been great having a partner at work who doesn't or can't eat fast food everyday and somebody at work who will tell me no when I want a double cheeseburger. But I don't want to hate food like he does, or resort to eating just oatmeal and protein shakes in order to drop a few pounds. I want to still enjoy food and 95% of the time I still do but its hard to find the balance and be able to say no or limit myself. I wish I had the metabolism to eat whatever I wanted and not gain a pound or that I loved working out so much that I could eat what I wanted knowing that I would work it all off in the gym. This isn't a "diet" for me, this is a lifestyle change. I don't want to have a heart attack or get diabetes but I also want to enjoy life and all it has to offer. I want my family to be able to enjoy food without the mental issues that I have towards food. I hope that one day it will just click for me and that I won't have the need to stuff myself to capacity with biscuits and gravy. I won't say that I will never have these foods again or that I will never make them again but I need to find a way to balance the splurge days. This may seem like a repeat of things that I have said before and I apologize for being redundant. Balancing eating right and living life is my number one struggle, its what leads me to cheating the most. There is a part of my brain that screams "you don't need food to make you happy" but the other part of my brain (the inner fat kid part) is busy beating the first part up with a churro.

This blog is a look inside my very scattered, and A.D.D. riddled head. I have the attention span of a fruit fly and I know it can be hard to follow sometimes....SQUIRREL!

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