I want to start off with saying that I DO NOT think its OK to beat real live children...but I could punch my inner fat kid in the face today without a seconds hesitation. All day I have felt like complete poop, my stomach is cramping, I'm tired, and I am just plain cranky. Most of the day I wasn't hungry and nothing sounded good. I didn't eat the food I brought with me except for a few sticks of celery with PB and the egg sandwich I made myself this morning. So I was low on calories which made me think that because I hadn't indulged all day that maybe I could squeeze in some Barros Pizza. I spent most of my day thinking about what I would order and how I could talk Scott into going out for dinner. But when it got down to go time I couldn't get myself to pick it up on the way home, I had also forgotten that Scott had dinner plans already and there is something very sad and depressing about eating pizza with just yourself and your guilt. So I said no to the fat kid, at which point he decided that he would try and con me into ordering a pizza. It was the normal junkie talk "you deserve this, you've worked hard" "you still have calories to waste" "nobody will ever know"
But the closer I was to ordering the more I realized that A: I still wasn't hungry, and B: I just flat out didn't really want pizza. I have built it up in my mind so much that I thought I wanted pizza even when I wasn't hungry. So another enlightening moment, if I actually think about my craving and don't just go out and give in, then I am less likely to splurge. I know most of you are probably think...Duh Dumbass, I know its not a hard concept but saying no to the inner fatty is not something I am well practiced in. I am also very well known for being slightly impatient when it comes to food. I eat entire meals in minutes and rarely come up for air before I am done.
I also want to say how awesome it is to hear feedback from people who read my blog (Even if you rub it in by saying you read it while enjoying your hamburger). It helps to keep me going and every single person who reads this helps keep me in check. Its hard to sneak a piece of key lime pie around a person who just spent 10 minutes reading your blog about how you are dieting and trying to make a lifestyle change. So thank you the inner fatty hates you (no offense) But I think you are amazing and I really do appreciate the daily guilt trips.
But the closer I was to ordering the more I realized that A: I still wasn't hungry, and B: I just flat out didn't really want pizza. I have built it up in my mind so much that I thought I wanted pizza even when I wasn't hungry. So another enlightening moment, if I actually think about my craving and don't just go out and give in, then I am less likely to splurge. I know most of you are probably think...Duh Dumbass, I know its not a hard concept but saying no to the inner fatty is not something I am well practiced in. I am also very well known for being slightly impatient when it comes to food. I eat entire meals in minutes and rarely come up for air before I am done.
I also want to say how awesome it is to hear feedback from people who read my blog (Even if you rub it in by saying you read it while enjoying your hamburger). It helps to keep me going and every single person who reads this helps keep me in check. Its hard to sneak a piece of key lime pie around a person who just spent 10 minutes reading your blog about how you are dieting and trying to make a lifestyle change. So thank you the inner fatty hates you (no offense) But I think you are amazing and I really do appreciate the daily guilt trips.
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