My weeks are normally pretty busy. I work anywhere from 36 hrs(minimum) to 96hrs (maximum) per week and trying to balance that with being a wife, a dog mom, a sister, daughter, aunt, friend, etc etc can sometimes leave me pretty tired.When I get this tired I tend to have nightmares, I have had them since I was little and they more often than not are nightmares about random grown up weird stuff like paying bills, car accidents, or this Tuesday nights special, a helicopter crash (Don't ask, I have no idea why).This week I only worked 36 hours (I'm working 72 next week to make up for it) and I had spent Sunday-Wednesday having strange nightmares that leave me in a panic. So Thursday finally came along and I decided that I was NOT going to clean, or even act like a functioning member of society. It was AWESOME. I read vampire romance novels, watched TV, did some facebook stalking, didn't make it out of my PJs and was just a bum in general. Along with this awesomeness came a set of cravings that I had thought myself above. All of a sudden I was a 12 year old on the first day of summer. I wanted to eat myself into a diabetic coma, anything sugary and sweet was on the menu. I managed to curb these cravings and when I joined Scott for lunch at the good egg, I had a egg white omelet that was delicious. Of course the inner fat kid ate the potatoes before I had even realized what I was doing, he can be a very sneaky SOB. We had Stuffed Bell Peppers for dinner. I switched up the recipe a little bit and instead of ground lean turkey I cut up some artichoke and cheese chicken sausages that I had found at Costco. It turned out pretty good but I think I will go back to the lean turkey just to keep it healthier. Friday came along and I just let go, I am not sure why but I was bad. I had 3 soft boiled eggs with wheat toast for breakfast, then I ate some of my nieces mac and cheese, then I had some leftover pasta, and I still went out to dinner! I shared a bottle of wine, and a hummus appetizer with some friends and had a beef gyro for dinner.
So no big shocker I gained some weight, the weight that I swore I would never put back on. I am upset with myself and I don't know why I wasn't able to say no. I read in a magazine that no matter what you will end up cheating, that is life and denying yourself lifes special treats will only lead to unhappiness. I know that but I also don't think its ok to just eat like I did for two days. This is a lifestyle change, I had a attitude setback yesterday but its a new day and time to get over it. Just because I cheated on Thursday and Friday does not give me the right to say "well guess I will start over on Monday, the weekend is already ruined" No. If I mess up then I can get back on track during my next meal. I can gain control I am 24 years old if I can't control myself now then how will I ever?
So now to regain control. Time to clean my house, wash my dogs, make my food for the week and listen to some loud music :)
Todays Menu:
2 cups coffee( for my heart of course )
1 trenta green tea with 1 sweetn low
spinach egg white wrap (280cal)
Lean cuisine
pb sandwhich
Dinner at Culinary Dropout with some awesome friends
So no big shocker I gained some weight, the weight that I swore I would never put back on. I am upset with myself and I don't know why I wasn't able to say no. I read in a magazine that no matter what you will end up cheating, that is life and denying yourself lifes special treats will only lead to unhappiness. I know that but I also don't think its ok to just eat like I did for two days. This is a lifestyle change, I had a attitude setback yesterday but its a new day and time to get over it. Just because I cheated on Thursday and Friday does not give me the right to say "well guess I will start over on Monday, the weekend is already ruined" No. If I mess up then I can get back on track during my next meal. I can gain control I am 24 years old if I can't control myself now then how will I ever?
So now to regain control. Time to clean my house, wash my dogs, make my food for the week and listen to some loud music :)
Todays Menu:
2 cups coffee( for my heart of course )
1 trenta green tea with 1 sweetn low
spinach egg white wrap (280cal)
Lean cuisine
pb sandwhich
Dinner at Culinary Dropout with some awesome friends
2 comments:
I'llpass this on to the girls at work so that they can comment and follow you.
Dad
YOU are a funny shica! But you really need to focus on how well you did for 30 friggin days! Keep focusing on that instead of beating your inner fat kid. give some kudos to your funny tall inner skinny writer too! You are changing habits for a lifetime, not for one day or even one week or a month. Take it one day at a time and remember to take the time to exercise,it is very calming and helps you to focus and destress.
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