I battled the fat kid all day long.
Not in the usual sense, I wasn't trying to shove my face full of pizza and donuts at every turn.
Don't get me wrong.. I was HUNGRY.
I ran hills last night and I could have happily dove face first into whatever was readily available.
However I made sure to pack my prepped foods so I was able to stay the MF'ing course.
Today wasn't about telling the fat kid no.
No, no pizza for me thanks.
No, Beer isn't really my thing.
It was about telling that little asshole to shut the f*$k up.
Anxiety, fear, and self doubt were the name of the game today.
That little voice in my head was screaming today.
I am not fast enough
I am not skinny enough
I am not working hard enough
I will never follow through with anything
I will never finish an Ironman
I just wanted the voice to go away.
I don't give a shit if I am not fast enough. I am out there pushing my body and working to be faster.
Fuck. Skinny.
Yeah I said it.
I am strong, I am healthy, and I am working on tailoring my birthday suit.
That stupid number on the stupid scale doesn't define me.
It doesn't make me less of a person.
It doesn't tell you who I am.
I am a strong badass woman.
Yeah I wear a fanny pack when I run and I own something called Hoo Ha Ride Glide.
I still Tri
(see what I did there)
I will finish an Ironman.
I will finish if I have to drag my legs behind me like a dog.
Hell or high water
Blood, road rash, exhaustion, knee pain, sunburns, and black toe nails.
I will finish.
That little voice inside my head just told me that I just jinxed myself and my finish.
I am going to crush that stupid voice like a bug.
The battle rages on.
Its not always physical.
Sometimes the mental aspect is worse.
When in doubt, listen to Amy Poehler.
(Side note, go buy her book. It's amazing. I laughed, cried, and snorted)
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